Older sibling "teaching" a younger?

No, don't be worried, a three year old should not be particularly concerned about school stuff. And, in accordance with my motto that children learn best through play, let your 3 yr old play, he's 3. Looking up stuff on the internet will come soon enough. I don't think I would try to overly encourage your 3 yr old to sit with your 5 yr old. However, my dd, almost 3, enjoys playing some games (nickjr, noggin, starfall, etc. Disney kind of sucks, too slow) on the internet and if I get her started, she likes to look at google images of various animals, particularly sharks, frogs, and snakes. She can page back and forth on her own. Your ds may like something like that. My dd became interested in these things, games, because she watched her sister doing them and wanted to be just like her, so yes, they do follow the older sibs lead quite often in various ways.

In fact, younger dd has had to do exactly what older dd does for about the past 1.5yrs. It's been exasperating at times, but always fun. It's only recently that that habit seems to be subsiding a bit. Her own personality is taking charge, kwim?

I would just encourage your 3 yr old in whatever he does take an interest in. As you know, every child is unique, follow his cues and try not to compare to your older ds. That's what I have to do. I suddenly realized that by this age, my older dd knew all her abc's by sight and had to quell the urge to start cramming abc's into my younger dd's brain, We will just keep doing what we are doing.

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One of the great things about unschooling is that we don't need to compare our kids to anyone else. In school, they're constantly compared to their peers, from "Are they on grade level?" to "What did they score on the spelling test?" You're right, every one has their own pace, but also, everyone has their own talents/interests. I love that they can each shine in their own way at home.

I see my youngest learns a lot from his older sibs, mostly because he wants to "be like the big kids." So, he's not sitting down and studying with them, but with most physical things, he's following them and he likes to see the same movies and hear the same books, play the same games--things like that.

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It's okay for a 3 y/o to run around all day. Honestly, I haven't found a need to "encourage" my kids to learn--they learn what they're interested in. Usually, when people ask that question, it's because their children aren't learning what the parents deem appropriate or valuable to learn. Your 3 y/o might not be looking up things in books, but surely, he's learned SOMETHING in the past three years, right? I'd just continue to support whatever he's interested in doing.

Oh there's lots of learning to be had in running around all day when you are 3. I would also just support him where he's at. Talking, playing, singing, it's all good.

What your three year old should be doing is running around all day, making connections and figuring things out. Some kids, like your 5 year old, are more "schoolish" driven. They want the facts, the worksheets, the data. Others, like my daughter, don't want those but want to ponder abstract concepts. Your child will show you where his interests and talents are, you'll just have to watch for them and know they'll be different than his brother's.

It's hard, hard, hard for me not to compare my dd with friends. But, I work on it. I realize she consistantly does things in her own time. For example:she didn't learn any of the letters besides the ones in her name until the summer she was 5.5. ALL of her friends had known them for ages. Then, in the course of a few weeks, she knew them by sight, could print most of them, an was associating sounds. She learned when she was good and ready and not a moment before. (And trust me, I worried over it and tried to "teach" her off and on before she was ready.)

I'm sure your younger already follows your older's example. But he'll choose what that is rather than you having to decide.

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I think the 3 year old sound pretty typical, which doesn't mean he isn't learning a lot all the time in his own way - but simply that it isn't about "school stuff," which will work out just fine for him. He has an awful lot to absorb about his immediate surroundings, the way his body works, what he can do with his imagination, and all sorts of things... His mind just works in a different way from his brother's, but that doesn't mean he isn't as enthusiastic of a learner in the big picture or long run. School stuff is just a small part of what there is to learn about - and I think you'll grow to really appreciate their differences as time goes by. It will be fascinating to see how they develop in their own ways. Lillian

Another thought to add is that the 3 year old could even be better off, for all anyone knows, than the 5 year old in some ways - because he's getting the benefits of all that important activity during the time when a lot of physical and sensory development is taking place. We tend to put entirely too much value on traits that have to do with school things, and too little on some of the vitally important things that aren't so obvious in their importance. Lillian