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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok i have just started to work part time back in Feb since then i have prolly left all three kids with him about 5 times, I work most my hours form home on the phone (i'm a breastfeeding peer councelor from WIC) Anyways last night i had a BF class to teach and was gone about 3 hours. Allison in exclusivly BF with no solids (a few oganic o's now and then like cherios). So all was OK, got good at all but OK when i got home. DH said the typical our kids are brats and don't listen at all... well then i got the kids through their baths, and a bed time snack and then got them all in bed. the night was fine, then this morning me and the kids are up, getting breakfast, getting dressed, ect. DH is sleeping b/c he goes back to work tonight (works nights) and he sleeps in on days he starts back to work. So i was chaging allisons diaper and austin says mom last night when you wrere gone daddy spanked allison when he was changing her daiper!!! I was FLOORED, SHOOKED, i didn't know what to tell him, so i said maybe daddy was just patting her.<br>
Back groud, i'm a reformed spanker, i did think it was the only way when i had my first b/c i was only 16, listend to advice from family, ect. then foud a great AP way of life and haven't spanked ausitn in over 3.5 years(when he was about 2) and abby and allison have never been spanked by me.... but dh has always had a hard time adjusting to AP ways he thinks some are kinda crazy, ect.<br>
Well anyways allison is only 9 months old and is a swirmy baby has just learned to crawl so when she gets a diaper change as soon as she's free bottemed she tries to roll right away and get away. So that was all she was doing and he said he just tapped her butt and she cried for a sec till he picked her up but still i was crying over it, how could he!!! I kinda understand when he loses it with abby or austin but they are older and i can explain to then why this happend, ect. but allison OMG!!! I'm so so sad over this, he won't read anything, he won't beleive me that my "time outs" and reward methods work... i'm just so shanken up and takin back by this i don't know what to do.
 

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Yes, spanking a 9 month old is totally be shocking to me, too. I don't have any advice.... I just hope your DH can come to understand why it's so wrong.<br><br>
Sending many, many hugs to you and your babe.<br><br>
Take good care,<br>
lilgreen
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
Maybe you and DH should consider counseling or a parenting class? I know with my DH, he often won't listen to me, but if he hears the same thing from someone else, then he will take it seriously. Fortunately he's been willing to go along with me on discipline issues so far, even though he doesn't always agree.
 

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Oh wow… 9 months old? Of course spanking at any age is wrong but 9 months is just a baby! At that age I ca not even think of any “bad” behavior that would even need “discipline” at all, let alone a spanking!<br><br>
I’d be totally pissed off. I probably wouldn’t even trust DP to be alone with the baby anymore. Maybe that sounds harsh, but if he is ok with spanking a baby what will he do later on with a challenging toddler?<br><br>
I'm sorry, what a crappy situation! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Not having babies myself (I hang out here to "prepare!"), I don't have great advice for you. I did just want to offer many <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
thanks for all the support, I think it will prolly be a LONG time before i leave all the kids with him again, i always have my grandma that will keep them if i NEED to work. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I'm just still very upset about this. we did talk a little while this afternoon about it... he agrees that he lost his temper but he still says it was "just a tap" and i explained to him that a "tap" will turn into something more if he doesnt' fix this NOW. he agrees and is going to think about some kinda classes, or maybe he said he'd be willing to read some of these book i've been pushing him for the past 2 years... But i did forget that the night before i left him with all the kids he only got about 3 hours of sleep in the past 48 due to his job and volnteer fire dept that his on.... but i still expained that that wasy NO EXCUSE at all. It's just really killing me that my 5 year old told me about it, but i know allison prolly doesn't remember it at all but it's sure stuck into his mind b/c he (being a 5 y/o) knows it's wrong when i told that to dh i think it really made him stop and think also.... I know he is living on a very high stress level right now so i guess i just need to no expect him to keep the kids like i do. He been very stressed over his job for the past few months, i think he's burt out on the night shift BIG time, thank goodness he's able to move to days after this summer!!! Thanks again!
 

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Sorry that you are dealing with this!<br><br>
I want to note though that I don't feel it's at all a good idea for someone who has only slept for 3 hours in 48 hours to be watching 1 child let alone 3. I've once heard that people become clinically insane when they haven't slept for 3 full days or something like that. We aren't ourselves when we are sleep deprived. It is sometimes used as a form of torture. I'd find alternative care arrangements when this comes up. He really should have been sleeping.
 
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