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OMG--do I belong here???

1131 Views 8 Replies 6 Participants Last post by  mama2m&m
All right then, let me start from the beginning. I track my cycles w/cyclebeads, and I realized like the same day that we got together that it was the peak day for me to be ovulating. I've been thinking I could be pg since then!

I've been tired, weepy, emotional and depressed, I've been nauseated after eating and smelling strong scents, my breasts have "dried up" over the last week or two and they'd tingle whenever Lili nursed the same like they would for a let-down when she was exclusively nursing, etc.... In short, I really felt pg!

I ususally have on hand those super-sensitive pg tests you can buy online--they're supposed to be able to detect pgcy like 11 days before your period starts...( FYI)...well I ran out and just bought some generic type ones at the grocery store. I was already like 3 days late, took one, nothing. Next one, next day, maybe a faint line I couldn't tell. Third one, (now I'm like 5 days late--never been that late before that I know of). Well, I had to buy more tests! So I buy 1st response--supposedly a little better quality--took one yesterday, a faint line, but defininitely a line! I KNEW it!

Me and dh instantly start freaking out about carseat arrangements in our little cavalier, buying more cloth diapers, where are we gonna have this kid w/no midwife in town (just moved here), etc... You know how a positive result is supposed to stay visible on the test for weeks on end, well mine faded within a couple of hours...hmmm.

Well, this morning, I didn't pee all night and didn't drown myself w/water before bedtime
just to be sure the test would be accurate, and this morning, NOTHING. Not even a hint or a ghost of a line. And then I go to the bathroom and lo and behold, pinkish spotting--exactly like I get just before my period.

So what the HECK??!?! Am I pg? Was I never?? Did I have an early misscarriage?? (I've had this same thing happen before and I still don't know if it was an early misscarriage--I just got my period super-late and did a bunch of freaking out and pee-testing!)

I am super stressed-out and confused--I will keep y'all posted--please share your thoughts.

BTW around the 5th of the month (when I didn't have any symptoms to really suspect anything yet) I had a wicked cold and took Sudafed and double doses of Advil twice, thinking I couldn't possibly be pg (stupid I KNOW), and I've also developed a Starbucks habit since we moved here which has me drinking unprecedented amounts of caffeine several times a week
For the record those are my confessions

Thanks for your help everyone
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Krystal, I don't know what to tell you, but I will be thinking of you. Sounds like you may know one way or another in the next day or so. Do you have a doctor that could do a beta test for you just to let you know for sure one way or the other?
Sounds to me like you need to toss your cycle beads in the trash & start charting instead. Those things do NOTHING for you when you've got a funky cycle you're dealing with....and we all get them sometimes. It's my bet that either a) your cold threw your cycle out of whack or b) you were pregnant but the embryo wasn't healthy, so you're having a very early miscairrage.
Those tests are supposed to be very very accurate when it comes to a positive result - the negatives are iffy, but if you get a line, it's almost unheard of to not be pregnant, yk?
Something very similar happened to me a few months ago. I wasn't trying to get pregnant, but didn't get a period. I took test after test for about two weeks and usually got a very faint positive. I took three blood tests which were all negative. I even thought I had symptoms such as nausea and food aversions, so I was nearly convinced that I was pregnant. My period eventually came, a month late, so I have since wondered if I didn't have an inviable fertilization or something of the sort.

Let me just tell you Krystal, I can certainly empathize. That was one of the most stressful, emotional months I have been through. It was torture not knowing what was going on with my body. Hang in there.

I wish you luck and peace.
Well, I took another test this afternoon, and got a faint positive again. The spotting has seemed to go away--could it be implantation bleeding--but that's supposed to happen when you're missing a period, not a week after you'vre missed a period, right??

I never thought of a cold having the power to screw w/my cycles--if that's possible then I could have my ovulation time off by a week, and that would make the advil I took irrelevant, and that might make sense.

The cyclebeads tell you they don't work unless your cycle is always between 26 and 32 days, and mine's never been off more than that in either direction since my cycles returned after having Lili. (I didn't have a clue before though! They came back like 7m postpartum, and they tell you the first four should be totally wacky, which they were, and then you should be able to use the cyclebeads and have them work.) So I've been using the beads for like 9 months now and have always been within 26-32 days. Hmmm....

The only options I guess I have are to wait a while and take more tests (getting expensive here lol!), if AF comes well it comes, but if it doesn't, well, I just hope I get a true positive result then! AAACK!!!

Thanks guys
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Well unfortunately I think it's safe to assume that I had an early miscarriage this weekend.

I've been thinking a lot about all this, and I think the best way to take this is as a wake-up call of sorts. It's one thing to say that we're open to life, but it's another to be actively thinking about "I could be pg" every month and taking care of myself accordingly. yk?? I need to take better care of myself. I know all about what kinds of natural remedies to use for my kids but for myself I get lazy and pop cold pills so I can carry on w/my business instead of taking it easy when I'm sick. I know I should eat more fruits and veggies, stay away from caffeine and fatty foods, eat omega-3's, drink lots of water--why am I not takig better care of myself if I'm supposedly "open to life". I should be setting a better example of health for my kids anyway. :Bag

Thanks for listening to my ramblings--writing helps me to sort out my thoughts and feelings, I hope I can grow from experiencing this sadness

Take care everyone! See you on the rest of the boards!!
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I'm sorry Krystal.. that stinks. I've had two very early m/c's and it's still frustrating and sad even when you didn't ever really *know* you were pregnant.

One thing that no one has said that I wanted to menition.. although you are right that you need to take care of yourself (for many reasons, not just your future children), I'm sure you did NOTHING that caused this early loss. I've read that between 50 - 75% of fertilized eggs have genetic defects and never survive long past implantation. With losses like this, most women don't know (or don't know for sure) that they were even pregnant. So don't spend any time beating yourself up about the caffeine or the sudafed. This is a horrible example, but think of all the drug addicts and teenagers who live off McDonalds that have "sticky" babies.

<<hugs>> get some rest and start taking care of yourself for YOU~!

edd 2/11/05 w/ #4!

I'm really sorry hon.

I do want to reiterate what Steph said--while you may benefit from better health habits, this was not your fault.

I hope you are getting the support you need from your family.
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: i had a m/c last december and it's taken me a while to get through to myself that it wasn't anything i did or didn't do. as much as it hurts, sometimes it does happen. i'm sorry you're going through this.
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