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I was curious to know how many of you actually tell your kids they are gifted. DS has never been told, as we don't want him to feel or act superior to other kids..we thought it would be for the best, to just let him be and he thinks he goes to "Challenge" because I signed him up for it <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br>
Should we be telling him, instead? Do they need it to boost their self esteem when they feel different? I don't think he necessarily feels different from everyone else when it comes to that, so I'm not sure it's an issue. What do you guys do?
 

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We told our daughter when she realized that she 'got' things that her other friends didn't. She understands that math and reading comes quickly for her, and some of her friends picked up riding their bikes, etc. quickly when she didn't. She knows she's a bit different, knows she enjoys time with older kids, knows to have slightly different expectations with some of her age peers. I think she worried a bit about being different before we spoke about it. She is kind, happy, and confident. We're hoping she stays that way!
 

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When my first grader notices that he picks up on things a little more quickly than his friends (and really, it's usually his friends that notice this, not ds), I just tell him that different kids have different strengths and _________ happens to be one of his strengths.
 

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Hmmmmmmmmm...my daughter may be too young to give you a good answer, but here are my thoughts. She is very bright and things come to her very easily. Because of that we have started praising her for her efforts instead of the end job. Does that make sense? People around us are always praising her for how smart she is, how intelligent, yada-yada. One day she came up with something or other, as she often does, and dh asked her how she knew that. Her reply? "Because I'm just so smart. You know that." So, after we got a good chuckle we realized that this kiddo is going to think she can coast through life on her smarts and that everything will come easily to her, and we could see how she could fall into a pattern of not really trying. Does that make sense? Anyway, long answer to your question, no we have not told her she is gifted, etc. She hasn't really asked, other than asking if she was 'weird' one day b/c people have always made such a huge stinking deal out of her, daily, wherever we go. I just told her that not every child talks and reads (everything everywhere we go) and does things like she does. Every child has a very special gift, sometimes more, and hers are math and reading and such.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>JandJmom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8002126"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">we thought it would be for the best, to just let him be and he thinks he goes to "Challenge" because I signed him up for it <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br>
Should we be telling him, instead? Do they need it to boost their self esteem when they feel different? I don't think he necessarily feels different from everyone else when it comes to that, so I'm not sure it's an issue. What do you guys do?</div>
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How old is he? Depending on his age what you are telling him about "challenge" may not last for long because he will likely hear stuff from other kids.<br><br>
In our situation we didn't use the word gifted until it was introduced by the outside world. It was pretty much impossible not to talk about the concept though because our child is radically accelerated.<br><br>
One thing I would keep in mind is that just because we don't talk about differences, doesn't mean kids don't notice them. Kids are good at observing but not always good at drawing accurate conclusions so they may think they are just weird, or bad in some way if you don't talk about it. It is really individual though and a lot is going to depend on your kid and their degree of difference.
 

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We don't say gifted b/c that's so vague anyway. I love how they handle this at his school... every child is acknowledged for their special gift. DS is a "great reader" and "very musical." I have told him he is a fast learner, when it is appropriate (example of appropriate is when he is frustrated at others taking more time). We're just taking it as it comes, though. He's still young, so strategies may change.
 

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I see nothing wrong with telling gifted children they're gifted...if they're old enough to grasp what that means.
 

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We haven't used the word with ours yet, but I did recently hear him telling someone else, "I help teach the G.A.T.E. kids." I chuckled. What he meant is that when *I* do the G.A.T.E. testing for my school district I sometimes take him along and he helps us pass out pencils, papers, etc. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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When she was pulled out of regular classes for gifted hour once a day, that pretty much did it. And....it was called, The gifted hour. DD is now 12 and has been in gifted for 4 years.
 

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My two middle kids figured it out, especially since my oldest has a lot of learning disabilities, and we struggle explaining to them why their older sister is not as fast as them... things are hard for her, etc.<br><br>
I think my son knew he was different from a young age. My daughter is too wrapped up in herself to notice...
 

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Dd is in preschool and more and more she's noticing that she's different.<br><br>
She got a little sad recently because I asked her if there were a few kids in her class that she really likes that we could invite over for her birthday party.<br><br>
She listed a couple kids that she likes to hang out with during the after-school daycare, but they're 2 yrs. older than her. When I've asked about her same-age peers she says that they whine a lot when she tries to tell them what to do. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br><br>
We have MANY discussions about bossiness, letting other kids do what they like to do even if they do it in a slower way, or a different way.<br><br>
So far we have not used the word "gifted" with her, but not because we're specifically avoiding it. We just talk about how she learns faster than some other kids, and that "everyone's brain is different, just like everyone's hair and nose and eyes are different."
 
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