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just thought i'd say that i don't know what to tell ya. my sperm donor has no words for me, haven't heard from him since he left - with some help from me - at the beginning of april. sent him an email saying that this baby wont go away just cuz he's ignoring the situation and still havent heard anything...wondering if he cares, if he 's plotting and schemeing, if he's even alive ... no idea.
am i lucky to not really have to deal with him or what? how do you explain where daddy is to a son that's never met his daddy?
 

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Advice? Well. The best I have is to keep on keeping on. Yeah it gets better. I just focus on my dd,
and when I still had contact with her dad I just tried my best to allow it to roll off my back. My energy
is far too precious than to waste it on wondering why he could be so cruel.

Truthfully I don't think about dd having a father out there living his life much any longer. I don't feel
the anger, or the sadness I used to feel either. I think a lot of the feelings that come with being a single
mother take time to process. One thing that is totally a waste of time is the bitterness that can over
take even the strongest of us. Ahhhh, once I let that go I felt so much lighter.
Know that you are the very best Mama you can be, and that's the best we can do. It's hard to put aside
the cruel words that some of our ex's like to throw. Just know that most times when somebody is throwing
judgments on you, it says more about how they feel about themselves.

PS and Jen, just so you know the term "sperm donor" is used as a term of endearment here. Many
mama's owe a lot to the men who gave a part of themselves so that they could be Mama's. So it
can be taken offensively to use that term. When a actual sperm donor is a man who gives a precious
gift, and not a man who abandons his children.
 

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I'm sorry your having a hard time mama
It does get easier. There are many obstacles to overcome, but things do get easier. If he's being nasty towards you, limit contact with him. Only talk to him about necessary things and if he starts being mean tell him your hanging up the phone - then do it. If he keeps harassing you, you can shut your phone off and get an injunction for harassment.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by lauraheartslittle1
Thanks Jillian,
Fortunately no nastiness/lies in the very recent past, but sometimes it's still hard to let go of the traditional "mommy, daddy, children, pet, home, etc" notion.
Letting go of the "perfect family" dream was the hardest for me. It took well over a year for me. But once I finally let it go, my life was much more calm and peaceful. You'll get there too, it just takes time to heal and let go.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jilian
Letting go of the "perfect family" dream was the hardest for me. It took well over a year for me. But once I finally let it go, my life was much more calm and peaceful. You'll get there too, it just takes time to heal and let go.
True. Some days, I feel at peace about it, but other days when I see all of the "perfect" little families with expectant mums... it's just...
:
 
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