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My DD and I have been engaging in power struggles quite often lately and I hate the feeling I get when I use stupid illogical consequences based on anger and frustration.<br>
Today I stopped the negative cycle!! We were having friends over and I really wanted her room cleaned up for the kids. I started to get really angry when she started to whine and cry that it was "too much" and "I don't want to!!" Same old, same old. Makes me so angry. So I went from "I'm not going to make you" to "clean up your room or the door closes and you and your friends are not playing in it till it is clean!!" So she went to cry in her room and I fought that little mommy devil inside me, and I won the battle! I called her back out and told her that I hated the way her messy room looked but that if she didn't mind playing in it, it was up to her. I also made a deal with her that she would ask her two friends if it was ok with them to play in a messy room and if they preferred it cleaner she would clean it up then. (That last part may not have been necessary but it made me feel better!)<br>
It felt so good to disengage from the power struggle and gain control of my emotions. It felt like I was giving dd control over how her own room looks- maybe the right path towards inner control/satisfaction some day?<br>
Anyway- one small victory for me but it felt like a step in the right direction.
 
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