[djinneyah]

surely there's more out there...

i'm an only child, and i have 2 kids. i have absolutely no idea what it's like to have a sibling, so i feel like i'm walking into this blind. also, as an only, i feel like i got used to being "alone", and sometimes have a hard time reconciling my "desire" (for lack of a better word) to be alone with my "mom of 2" status and constantly being in the company of my children.

and now i want another baby (not right away, but in a couple years). i guess i feel slightly like a fish out of water sometimes. anyone else in the same boat?

 

[Earth Angel]

I'm here!!! An only child with 2 boys!! Now that they are of age to really be having sibiling relationship issues ( aka fighting

) I feel like my lack of experience as a sibling is somewhat hindering my ability to know when to allow whatever is happening to happen, and when to step in and draw the line for them. I don't know if that even makes sense the way it is written????

Anyway....I too have that desire for alone time....I need time and space to just get into my own head and be....KWIM??? I have been able to let it go a bit, out of necessity....but my youngest is 2, so this has been a 2+ yr process!!!

I'd love to chat more about this....I know it will present me with unique challenges as I raise my boys....and we are contemplating another in the future....possibly.....I change my mind almost everyday!!!

 

[timneh_mom]

I'm an only child, and currently pg with #2. I always knew if I had one child, I'd want another... I had a lot of burden saddled on me as a kid and still do, at 37 years old. I have NO idea what to expect with siblings!! DH has a brother and sister so hopefully he can help me with that part...

 

[mata]

I always say I treat my two daughters like only children.

Ok, I do try to foster harmonious sibling interaction, but I definitely make sure they each have a lot of space for themselves.

 

[witchbaby]

i'm another only child with 2-- k is 2.5 years old and m is 7.5 months old. my husband has an older brother (about 2.5 years older), so i'm constantly deferring to him on how siblings behave. when i'm alone with them, i wonder if i'm jumping in when i shouldn't or being too permissive when i SHOULD be jumping in.

 

[Earth Angel]

So, do any of you wish you had had siblings? Did that influence your decision to have more than one yourselves?

For me, I would have loved to have had siblings. My kids only have 2 aunts/uncles (Dh has 2 sisters and they are both married). That really is a small family. Being the only one to do everything for my parents has always been a bit difficult.....but as they age, it really weighs heavily.

My wish for siblings has played a part in my having 2 (maybe more) kids. I definatly saw too many drawbacks to being an only child. I get why people make that choice, but being one myself made it completely clear that I'd have more than one.

 

[witchbaby]

i'm of two minds: i sometimes wish i'd had siblings, i think it might have helped my crippling shyness and given me better insight into how to deal with others (rather than my standard tactic of RUN AWAY!!), but i also know i've experienced things i never would have had i had siblings.
i think i had m partially out of the desire k never be alone, but, also, he was a big fat whoops.

 

[zoe398]

I'm here. An only with 3 girls. I'm often wondering what the heck I'm doing.

DH has a younger brother. It is kinda weird having come from a LARGE family of aunts and uncles and first cousins to having only an uncle so far for my kiddos. And I think I am totally getting where ya'll are coming from when you talk about alone time. I guess I never realized how that really afftects me. I jst figured all mommies need "me" time, but I really think it's intensified for me as an only. My mother even had a hard time grandparenting all three because she's never had o deal with the sibling thing as her and her sister are 10 years apart. Anyway, I llok forward to talking more with ya'll!

 

[djinneyah]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Earth Angel So, do any of you wish you had had siblings? Did that influence your decision to have more than one yourselves? For me, I would have loved to have had siblings. My kids only have 2 aunts/uncles (Dh has 2 sisters and they are both married). That really is a small family. Being the only one to do everything for my parents has always been a bit difficult.....but as they age, it really weighs heavily.

i think my desire for siblings has impacted my decision, as well. i know for me, growing up as an only did give me opportunities and a different viewpoint on things that i might not have had with siblings, but it was lonely for me (my parents were also very physically and emotionally absent). while i'm trying to do better than my parents and be there physically and emotionally for my children, i have a hard time denying how i was raised and what i'm used to.

also, after having ds and watching him develop his own little personality, i saw that he was such a social being, and felt that limiting him to an only child existence didn't seem fair. i do completely understand why some people choose to have onlies, and that's fine for them, but i know, for myself, being an only definitely impacted my decision to have more than one.

dh was basically an only, as well, him being the oldest and 10 years older than the middle brother (13 years older than the youngest), but IMO, he still has that experience of having other siblings living in the same household, and the interpersonal relationships that come with that. while he wasn't and still isn't very close to his brothers, he still had the opportunity to watch them interact with each other as siblings, and therefore has some experience (more than i, obviously), so i have a tendency to defer to him as the "expert" when it comes to sibling matters.