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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hola.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hola">:<br><br>
I am opinionated and confident (not cocky or egotistical) and most people could care less, but it does cause a little friction occasionally with the family and at work <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: but DW and I have stuck to our guns. We are no-vax (with good reason) no TV, non-consumers, natural everything possible, faith in human beings kind of people and let me tell you that it is NOT easy. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> We try to fit in but we only do sometimes.<br><br>
So...here's the question...how do you deal with a superior or family member feeding you wrong info when you KNOW without a doubt and could site references to why they are wrong and you are right? That is a tough situation that I've had to deal with lately. I find that I come across as a 'know-it-all' and have stopped correcting them and just started saying 'oh' for the most part.<br><br>
How do you confident and opinionated folks deal with your issues? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hammer.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hammer">
 

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I just pick and choose my battles. I had a college professor in a course called Art History of Mughal India describe a painting of a Hindu god totally wrong. I grew up in temples and lived in India. She obviously studied some stuff about India. But I knew what the painting was about and when I tried to correct her, she refused to believe me. I guess it comes down to what I know is right for me and my family and I don't really need anyone else to validate it. I would rather have a conversation with someone who agrees with me rather than try to change minds. When people want to butt in my life with false information, it's probably easiest to use your 'oh' approach <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Wow - FuelJEt I am totally the same way! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br>
The thing I have worked on is my tone of voice. I still stick to my guns and I am never shy about letting people know what I think about TV and putting babes in cribs and circ and all of the rest of it... but with family and friends and anyone... I am working on my lalala sweet but strong voice.<br>
I found that my tone offended more than my ideas.<br>
I had the same problems at work too. When I know I am right and I don't want to deal with idiots. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">
 

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I also have a really hard time with this! I do a lot of research and my friends and family seem to have labeled me the goody two shoes for it. Its sad that being informed can be looked down upon! It really drives me nuts, especially on mainstream stuff like carseat safety. I have a cousin who turned her 9 month old forward facing then got mad at me for explaining to her that they NEED to stay rear facing until AT LEAST their first birthday. I can understand (to a point) people not agreeing with my crunchy views, but on regular issues??? I've also just given up. I'm trying to hang out with like minded Moms so I don't have to deal with defensive uninformed people. I've found that us crunchers tend to be more open minded on everything. I have yet to have a crunchy friend get defensive if I make a suggestion or point something out to them.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>boatbaby</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Wow - FuelJEt I am totally the same way! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br>
The thing I have worked on is my tone of voice. I still stick to my guns and I am never shy about letting people know what I think about TV and putting babes in cribs and circ and all of the rest of it... but with family and friends and anyone... I am working on my lalala sweet but strong voice.<br>
I found that my tone offended more than my ideas.<br>
I had the same problems at work too. When I know I am right and I don't want to deal with idiots. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"></div>
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Well, I've ultimately decided that I won't speak up and work unless there is a safety issue. That will keep everyone happy. As far as the family though, I've decided that they can BITE ME! After all, they don't want Past and I moving onto a boat and that just irks me. They say that it would be crazy b/c 'what would we do with ds?' I tell them that I will teach his little butt to swim and they just give me dirty looks. But what do I care! They can bite me! :LOL<br><br>
BTW...looking forward to meeting you guys!
 

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You all sound so very well informed. You really know your stuff. I can relate to some of what you are saying.<br><br>
I've found the work of Marshall Rosenberg and non-violent communication to be very helpful. Briefly you start by offering empathy and reflecting back what the person told you and then OFFER solutions. The idea being that a person needs to feel HEARD before they are able to listen.
 
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