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60 Posts
I have been married for 8 years. I have three daughters. My DH has been a slob from day one. I literally have to follow him around and pick up after him. Despite countless talks about this nothing changes. My daughters have picked up on his attitude and now do the same thing. I have been made the household slave. On top of this I have a special needs daughter who I'm becoming very concerned about. I have her in a program but I need to get her to a dr. so I can know just what is wrong with her. I'm fearing for my babys life and I know I'll be fearing my own safety as she gets older. My DH dismisses my fears and anytime I get upset he tells me to go take a pms pill. He's fighting me on getting her anymore help without realizing that I'm drained from taking care of her and my other two little ones. I NEED help.
I have a very bad knee and have fallen down the stairs several times. My dh never helps me up. He just glances my way and goes back to what he's doing. My oldest daughter sides against me with my husband saying we don't like her anymore do we? My dh just stares off into space and allows it to happen.
I'm the bad parent because I don't want the kids to each junkfood all the time. My DH constanly buys junkfood for himself and the kids. He's gained alot of weight and will eat a full container of icecream or package of cookies every night. My kids have terrible eating habits as well thanks to him. My DH encourages fast food for everyone instead of my homecooked meals. I'm always the disiplinarian as well and my kids run to my dh because he's the "fun one". I'll try to explain to my children why the shouldn't act a certain way and they'll copy what dh says to me.
My house looks like pig slop even though I bust my butt on it everyday. I can't keep up with all of everyones mess. Not to mention I feel really degraded. I'm so embarrassed about my house. And my dh's vehicle will have knee deep trash in it from fast food and papers. He won't throw anything away. He even has sylabuses from 10 years ago that he's saving. People see this and I'm mortified. He throws a big fit whenever I try to throw things away and now my kids tell me I have no right to throw anything away.
He controls the temperature and keeps things very cold. I tell him that I'm cold and to turn down the air and he says it's not cold it's hot. Whatever he feels is the truth. It doesn't matter what anyone else feels. He will not compromise. I have to live by the conditions he sets down.
He's horrible with finances and has about ruined us several times. He spends money like we have money trees out back. He's gotten us into so much debt it nauseates me. Before I married him, I had NO debt and money in the bank. He went through my money in a couple of months. I have no money now.
Am I crazy? Is it o.k. to leave someone for these reasons stated above? He doens't hit me. He's very good to the children except for discipline. I just can't stand how messy everything is. The finances, the house, himself. He only brushes his teeth once a day. He does'nt shower very much. And he wants me to touch him and kiss him. I can't stand pysical contact with him anymore. His enormous gut that he feeds junk to all the time. He's not depressed as far as I can tell. Just very lazy. I'm depressed now. I'm not who I was when I married him anymore. I miss my old self. Am I justified in leaving even though he is not physically and verbally abusive? I forgot to mention I have real bad problems with my inlaws that my DH says is my fault. They are not to blame, it's me. This and his slobiness was the first drain on our marriage, ad my special need child and two other daughters and I have about had it.
But I know that you have had it such worse. What are the justifications for leaving a marriage if abuse isn't involved. I don't even want to work things out. I don't want to get married again ever. I want to be free.
I have a very bad knee and have fallen down the stairs several times. My dh never helps me up. He just glances my way and goes back to what he's doing. My oldest daughter sides against me with my husband saying we don't like her anymore do we? My dh just stares off into space and allows it to happen.
I'm the bad parent because I don't want the kids to each junkfood all the time. My DH constanly buys junkfood for himself and the kids. He's gained alot of weight and will eat a full container of icecream or package of cookies every night. My kids have terrible eating habits as well thanks to him. My DH encourages fast food for everyone instead of my homecooked meals. I'm always the disiplinarian as well and my kids run to my dh because he's the "fun one". I'll try to explain to my children why the shouldn't act a certain way and they'll copy what dh says to me.
My house looks like pig slop even though I bust my butt on it everyday. I can't keep up with all of everyones mess. Not to mention I feel really degraded. I'm so embarrassed about my house. And my dh's vehicle will have knee deep trash in it from fast food and papers. He won't throw anything away. He even has sylabuses from 10 years ago that he's saving. People see this and I'm mortified. He throws a big fit whenever I try to throw things away and now my kids tell me I have no right to throw anything away.
He controls the temperature and keeps things very cold. I tell him that I'm cold and to turn down the air and he says it's not cold it's hot. Whatever he feels is the truth. It doesn't matter what anyone else feels. He will not compromise. I have to live by the conditions he sets down.
He's horrible with finances and has about ruined us several times. He spends money like we have money trees out back. He's gotten us into so much debt it nauseates me. Before I married him, I had NO debt and money in the bank. He went through my money in a couple of months. I have no money now.
Am I crazy? Is it o.k. to leave someone for these reasons stated above? He doens't hit me. He's very good to the children except for discipline. I just can't stand how messy everything is. The finances, the house, himself. He only brushes his teeth once a day. He does'nt shower very much. And he wants me to touch him and kiss him. I can't stand pysical contact with him anymore. His enormous gut that he feeds junk to all the time. He's not depressed as far as I can tell. Just very lazy. I'm depressed now. I'm not who I was when I married him anymore. I miss my old self. Am I justified in leaving even though he is not physically and verbally abusive? I forgot to mention I have real bad problems with my inlaws that my DH says is my fault. They are not to blame, it's me. This and his slobiness was the first drain on our marriage, ad my special need child and two other daughters and I have about had it.
But I know that you have had it such worse. What are the justifications for leaving a marriage if abuse isn't involved. I don't even want to work things out. I don't want to get married again ever. I want to be free.