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I have always been of the mind that this is a great big world full of people, and it's just not possible for nobody else you know to have the same name as your kid and vice versa. But now that the naming of a new being is upon us, I am feeling wracked with guilt because two of the names we adore are names of our friends kids.<br>
Quinn and Kai are both names my husband and I like. Both belong to close friends, though friends who live far away from us... so it's not like they are going to be in the park together. We sort of swung the Kai idea by the parents who have a Kai, and they laughed and said "You clearly have grat taste." Which I think meant, no worries. But I don't think the Quinn mama will feel the same way.<br><br>
It's not like people can OWN a name. So what's the etiquette here?
 

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You don't have to ask... though its nice to find out whether or not they would have a problem with your child having the same name as theirs...<br><br>
but since my DD has a very very unique name (quinn and kai both being much much more common even with how uncommon they are) and she was named for my mother which has a very emotional connection, pretty much everyone outside of my moms kids knows that name is off-limits for risk of insulting our whole family... Its not really a name you just sit there and would come up with on your own no matter how long you thought of names. (if somehow someone I didnt know showed up with that name, I would be amazed but not insulted... but if one of my friends used her name I would be)<br><br>
but my siblings will likely use it as well when they have children, even if for a middle name. Thats fine, because for them its also just as emotionally connected. Even for my cousins on my moms side... Id be fine with it... but if it were someone on my dads side or someone that just heard my daughters name and liked it and used it Id be very upset.<br><br>
That said... my sons name, while rare, would not bother me at all for anyone to use. Unlike my daughters name, his is actually in the top 2000 names list (though nowhere near number 1) and is listed in baby name books. Maeryn is not in the top 2000 names list... but is listed in baby name books and again I would not be bothered if someone used her name. I would just think we have similar taste... DDs name is not in any baby name books for any language (ive checked) and Google brings up very few results and most of them are to my own pages. Im not really sure how my great grandmother came up with the name, if she did, but its been in our family since then, though it wasnt able to be used until my mom was born (as a middle name) and then my daughter was born (as a first name)<br><br>
So I think when it comes down to it...while you cant OWN a name, there are some you just shouldn't use.
 

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my DD and DH's friend's DD have the same first name born 1 year apart..<br><br>
my DD's name is also the name of my college roommate..<br><br>
my DS shares a name with 3 of my friend's kids all born the same year as him.. yup, all pregnant at the same time, knew each other before we were pregnant, and picked the same name... no one cares <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
looks like this new one will possibly have the same name as my bil's g/f ..<br><br>
its just going to happen.. i would tell them.. so they find out from you.. but otherwise, use the name you want..
 

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I wouldn't take a name that was "claimed" by one of my very best friends who told me DON'T USE THIS NAME.<br><br>
Other than that, I don't care what other people name their kids. If the name fits my child, I'd use it.
 

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My BFF growing up had a DD a few months after mine was born and named her Khloe (different spelling, but same pronunciation). I didn't really care at all.<br><br>
I don't think it really matters unless it is a person you see regularly, or for me, family members and their kids.
 

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I would definitely feel weird if one of my friends used my son's name. It is a slightly unusual name but not that uncommon at all. If it were a very common name - John, Paul, Mary, etc. I wouldn't even think twice about it, but that is partially because my social circle has mastered the "my Mary, your Mary" thing<br><br>
Naming your kids is far more important than your friends' feelings however Quinn and Kai - despite some amount of popularity in the US - are still very rare. If you do decide to go with those names, just be prepared to deal with the feelings. You certainly don't have to apologize, but it would be considerate to discuss it up gently.
 

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I don't think Quinn and Kai are rare at all! Between my circle of friends and my circle of kids/parents at ds3's school, I know three Quinns and two Kais...and they're names you see here at MDC quite a bit.<br><br>
I'm curious about this, too, since the name we like best for this baby is a name a close (but out of state) friend has said she MIGHT use for a baby she MIGHT have IF it's a girl (Vivian). <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> She uses theme names, and a "life" name would fit well in her girl trilogy...so if I use it, she'll either have to use it as a repeat of ours (which I wouldn't mind at all), or she'll have to re-think her trilogy of names. Arg. I feel kinda bad because I don't think this mom/friend feels the way I do about name repeats.<br><br>
With a name as popular as Quinn or Kai, I wouldn't hesitate using it. The kids aren't going to be close, right? Besides...our name is something we carry with us for our whole lives. If it feels right, use it. The people we know now aren't likely to be big influences in the lives of our children.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>RedOakMomma</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15442328"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I don't think Quinn and Kai are rare at all! Between my circle of friends and my circle of kids/parents at ds3's school, I know three Quinns and two Kais...and they're names you see here at MDC quite a bit.</div>
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Wow! I guess it is just my circle... I know 3 Mary Grace's and at least 2 Mary Elizabeth's (children - not even counting teens and adults), but have never met a Quinn or a Kai.<br><br>
Is your friend pregnant with this possible baby girl? Then I would definitely not use the name - we pregnant ladies are very emotional and that would totally hurt my feelings if someone did that to me.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>xekomaya</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15442382"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Is your friend pregnant with this possible baby girl? Then I would definitely not use the name - we pregnant ladies are very emotional and that would totally hurt my feelings if someone did that to me.</div>
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Nope. They haven't decided yet if they're going to try for a third child. This is the if-they-do and if-it's-a-girl baby name.
 

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Ohh! I think that is totally fair then. That is a lot of ifs to claim a name. Especially because it if matters that much to her, she will know her own reasons for using it and potentially not care that anyone else has the same name.
 
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