[Manonash]

We just adopted a cat a few weeks ago and she is quite a submissive cat. Our daughter growls and runs at her to get her to run, and a couple of times when we weren't in the room, she grabbed the cat by the legs and was pulling her across the room. This cat will not go hide under the bed or anything, she just takes it, but will claw at her with her back feet when she does this kind of thing. She's gotten scratched once, and that didn't make any difference either. We've tried showing her that we are angry by our tone of voice and that we don't like it when she does that. She doesn't get that that's what we are angry about, and it hasn't registered that it has anything to do with the cat, even though our response is immediate. We've tried telling her that what she's doing hurts the kitty and she doesn't like being hurt so don't hurt the kitty. We've got the book Tails are not for pulling and want to start reading that with her every day. We don't want to use time outs either..... don't think she would get it for one and would just feel abandoned, which we certainly don't want to do.

We try to just be as watchful as we can of the cat, but sometimes, it happens pretty quickly.

Any ideas?

Thanks in advance!

 

[stellarae]

we have a similar problem with my son and my sister-in-law's dog... he likes to lay on the dog and squeeze the dogs face so he can kiss him but the dog doesnt take kindly to either of those things.

ill be eagerly awaiting the advice you get

 

[LynnS6]

At 3, she doesn't really have the ability to think ahead to see that she's causing the animal pain (she can realize it after it's done, but that's a bit too late). She also doesn't have great skills for putting herself in another's shoes (this is why they sometimes play hide and seek by covering their eyes).

You need to protect the cat by providing it a space to go to where it can be safe and away from your daughter as it adjusts to your house. Can you gate off a room with a baby gate that can let the cat in, but keep humans out?

I would also work with her on 'gentle touches'. She's only allowed to touch the cat when you are right next to her. Start with a one finger touch, and help her stroke the cat lightly. I'd also have a rule that only one hand can be on the cat at a time. (It's harder to pick it up, carry it, pull it, etc. with only one hand, and impossible with only one finger.)

 

[averlee]

For safety reasons, I suggest finding kitty a new home.

 

[SmoothieMom]

My Dd 15 months torments the cat when she can, I try to keep them apart, I have showed her the cats claws and teeth and she understands kitty can hurt her. One day kitty got her good when she was cornering her, my Dd got a good sized scratch on her hand and hissed at. Now she stays clear of the cat.

 

[titania8]

my son did this same thing when our cat came into our lives last summer. he was 2.5. im not kidding you, he nearly killed that cat. i found him holding her by her neck, her poor little body just dangling.

he would lay on her, push her across the floor when she was sleeping, etc etc. and she just TOOK it! we really considered re-homing her, but he LOVED this cat. fiercely. and you know what? she loved him too. she would follow him around, try to get into his room at night, etc. so she stayed with us.

she survived, and is still just as easy going as ever. she has also gained a tremendous amount of weight and he isn't able to man handle her anymore! he's also older now and isn't so inclined to do those sorts of things.

i don't know if this is helpful or not, but for us, her easy going nature was clear from the beginning, and though i was really worried for her safety (and yes, we did try our best to help him be gentle, and for her to be safe) it all turned out great. she's the best cat for a kid to have. so maybe you need to lock the cat in the bathroom (which is where our kitty had her safe place) sometimes or shadow your LO for while, but my guess is it will all be worth it and you will end up with an awesome, easy going cat and a child that WILL mature relatively soon.

good luck!

 

[ElliesMomma]

Quote:

Originally Posted by titania8 my son did this same thing when our cat came into our lives last summer. he was 2.5. im not kidding you, he nearly killed that cat. i found him holding her by her neck, her poor little body just dangling.

i know someone who -- seriously -- did lose a cat this way. her children *killed* their cat, and this was a cat that they had had for many years before the kids were born.

i was, and still am, horrified that this was allowed to have happened.

i don't know if your situation has gotten this out of hand; however if it does, you will have to be watching the child with the cat constantly. sounds like a lot of work to me.

 

[griffin2004]

100% separation of cat and child when you're not within arm's reach of child

100% vigilance when cat and child are together

you owe the cat at least that much; poor little thing!

 

[jtbuko]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LynnS6 I would also work with her on 'gentle touches'. She's only allowed to touch the cat when you are right next to her. Start with a one finger touch, and help her stroke the cat lightly. I'd also have a rule that only one hand can be on the cat at a time. (It's harder to pick it up, carry it, pull it, etc. with only one hand, and impossible with only one finger.)

This is great advice... I just logged on to ask a similar question and I love these idea Lynn. Thank you!

 

[averlee]

I have also known of a family who's cat died from a small child's mishandling. I also know a child who lost an eye when the calm, gentle family cat had finally had enough rough love. A submissive cat plus an aggressive child is an unfair and unsafe arrangement. While I do agree that you should work on gentle touches, this might not be a reasonable expectation for some children. Some children can't get along with cats until the pre-teen years.
I think it's great that you obviously love animals and want to share that with your child. Maybe a sturdy, rowdy dog would be better suited to your family's needs?

 

[Manonash]

Quote:

I would also work with her on 'gentle touches'. She's only allowed to touch the cat when you are right next to her. Start with a one finger touch, and help her stroke the cat lightly. I'd also have a rule that only one hand can be on the cat at a time. (It's harder to pick it up, carry it, pull it, etc. with only one hand, and impossible with only one finger.)

I also think this is great. We'll definitely try this.

Thanks so much for all your thoughtful replies. I really appreciate it.