[fireflies~for~me]

Feel free to move this to Parents as Partners if necessary...

DH and I feel like failures...utter failures...we had an argument - it was definately heated-this weekend in front of DS-age 6 months and he actually cried because he was so upset!!!!

I know that it is ridiculous to think we could have gone 18 years without making a mistake and not thinking of our child, but I think I shall never forget the sad look on his face!

The good thing is that it put things into perspective for us...I think for me especially, because my protection instinct has really come out. I can't believe we were that selfish!

So...can you relieve my worries that he is traumatized for life, that his sweet sweet spirit has been changed, that he has learned something bad, that he will carry that bad energy with him......????????

 

[Tanibani]

If it makes you feel any better... I've heard that if parents do argue in front of their children... they should remember to kiss and make up in front of them too.... Verbally, hugs, whatever... so the children learn that the parents DO eventually see reason and don't stay angry with each other for ever... of course it's better not to get so

mad that we "lose it", but we're human.

Live and learn. I think your DS will be OK. Perhaps a group hug

is in order. That would go a long way in restoring his sense that "my family IS great!" I'm sure he'll be OK.

BTW, my DH went to visit his son age 12 (he lives with his mom) and they were arguing (she picked a fight) and afterwards DS had a "stomachache." DH realized he was probably really torn up inside (stomach churning with tension) over watching them fight and he felt bad afterwards.

 

[fireflies~for~me]

keep em coming!

 

[village idiot]

ITA with Tanibani.

I think that your ds will be ok. I also think it's a good idea to kiss and make up in front of him. Maybe this will prompt you and dh to fight more constructively. <shrugs shoulders>

 

[OlyMama]

I think that the outcome of this is good because now you will be much more aware of what you're doing when tentions start to heat up and ds is present. You aren't going to be quick to repeat it.

Also, I'm sure ds has already forgotten the incident, and at that age it is only the general feel of things that the baby is in tune with. Most of the time he is in a loving and safe place, so that's what he thinks of as home. One fight one time isn't going to change that.

Just use it as a learning experience.