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Ok, so I have struggled with depression and anxiety and all that not so good crap for MANY years. This past year I seem to have gotten it so much more under control than I ever have before, without meds, yay me! But, damn, it seems like only days after I told my OB that I was feeling good mentally and dealing with the stress positively that I feel like I am loosing my mind! I'm a SAHM, and I'm not taking anything out on my kids, but between DP, his cousin that rents the room in the basement and a 10 week old puppy that I decided to take on 3 months before having a baby, I just don't know how much more I can take. I work really hard on the house, and this is my ONLY complaint, but no one gives a crap. DP and his cousin make messes and move things and don't clean up after themselves, and not to mention the puppy that pee's EVERYWHERE no matter how often I take him outside, and if I leave him in the back yard for any amount of time so I can get a break from him, he just barks and cries. Ok, whatever, I should get over the puppy thing, he is my responsibility and doesn't know any better, fine. But it doesn't matter how many times I tell DP that I need more help around the house, it just goes in one ear and out the other. I have to do everything! I have to drag the garbage out every week because he "forgets" and it's heavy! I have to clean up all the dog crap in the yard and do ALL of the yard work, I have to clean up the nasty sink after he and his cousin shave in the morning and clean the pi** and sh** off the toilette because they are NASTY! His cousin continues to use the same bar of soap that my kids and I use on our face to wash his a** with. Now, there's a lot more, but THOSE things are things that I shouldn't have to get raging mad about everyday because I say something about it EVERYDAY! I just feel like I am going to loose it, and I have been trying so hard not to get in another slump. I swear if DP asks me "what's wrong" one more time I am going to totally freak out!!! I don't know what to do, I can't keep saying the same things over and over again, I just want some help around here<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:<br><br>
Thanks for listening, I appreciate it!
 

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Crate train the dog, hide the soap and sit DP down and tell him exactly what's wrong. If he's asking, tell him in a calm way and work out strategies to make things better. Including ways he thinks will help remind him to do things without you feeling like you need to nag.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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More <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> to you. That does sound like a lot to deal with. I'm so sorry. I agree that crate training will save your sanity and result in a much happier doggy, and definately hide the soap (yuck!) Find a time to sit down and tell DP point blank, "I need some things from you from here on out- I need you to take out the garbage so I don't pull something, and I need you to please return things to where you've gotten them from." I know I have to sometimes tell DH things along these lines, because he can't think abstractly and anticipate what I need all the time.<br><br>
Clara
 

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As far as crate training the dog, I'm working on that one, he does sleep in the crate, and he is just now to where he will not cry to get out untill around 7:30 in the morning, but you better believe he is covered in pee every morning and peeing the whole way being carried out the door first thing to potty, he just WILL NOT hold it! When I put him in during the day he screams like he's being beat! I have another dog, she was never this hard! Oh well, like I said I can deal with that, he's still just a puppy.<br><br>
I have sat DP down and calmly told him that I needed the help, he agrees, but never follows through, so I'm no longer calm about anything! He says if I don't remind him it won't get done, well that's just not an excuse, he's a grown man! He does work, yeah that's great, but he thinks that is all he needs to contribute to the family. There is no family time. I do everything with the kids by myself, including his daughter, my DSD when she is here on he weekends. He is either playing video games on the computer or sleeping on the couch. I'm frustrated and I let it be known everyday. I don't think I'm asking too much, but dang, he knows I have a hard time and then gets mad at me when I'm frustrated and I always have to be the one to apologize. Whatever, I can't do this!
 

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LeeAnn my husband is quite similar.. I'm dealing with a lot of depression and anxiety issues as well. I know it's not a consolation hon but sounds almost like we married the same man. I don't have a cousin or a puppy to contend with, but as far as helping out around the house and with the kids it's ALL me. I've been dragging the garbage out for the past 3 weeks.. yesterday was garbage day and I didn't because of my back, do you think it was taken out? No.. he forgot and he won't take it out at night. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: It's frustrating. I just wanted you to know you aren't alone and if you need a shoulder I'm here to commiserate with. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I can't even imagine! When I was pg with dd a friend of mine from college was renting a room from us. I was working full-time and paying most of the rent. This "friend" was systematically tearing apart my marriage and rearranging my house while I was at work. I didn't realise what was happening (other than the rearranging of my furniture <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: ) until two weeks before my due date when I started my paid vacation which would lead into maternity leave. Dh and I ended up moving out of our own house to give her a few days to get the h*ll out of there. I gave her three days and we communicated by written note during those days. I just couldn't handle the drama and the negativity in person anymore...<br><br>
Our lives were INFINITELY better after she moved out. I had virtually no time to get the house ready for dd, but it was better than having someone living in my house who was so toxic. So... I guess what I'm saying is - I would kick the cousin out. Give him two weeks notice or whatever. Having family or a friend living in your house tends to be much harder, IME than having a stranger because friends and relatives don't seem to respect boundaries very well.<br><br>
If you can't kick him out - I would make regular chores (ie - cleaning up after himself) part of his rent. I would inform him that he needs to buy his own soap and wipe the toilet seat when he's finished. If he doesn't want to wipe the toilet/floor/etc then maybe he should try sitting down. My dh started sitting down to pee and actually prefers it now (our rental has the "man eater" toilet seat that doesn't stay up unless you hold it <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">).<br><br>
Oh man... a puppy too <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> We got a kitten a month or two ago which isn't nearly as time-intensive as a puppy, but I'm dealing with cat litter being tracked ALL over my house. I can't imagine having a puppy right now. We got our dog as a tiny puppy (picked her out when she was a day old and took her home at 7 weeks) almost four years ago. I don't think I could get a puppy while pregnant... You're much braver than I am, and I'm sorry I don't have any suggestions...<br><br>
I wish you the best of luck! That cousin needs to help out... seriously. He's living in someone else's house and housework is just part of living in a house. And NO, you are NOT asking too much! My dh works outside the home, but he recognises that I work in the home, keeping up the home and watching dd (and growing a new baby). He does a lot when he's around to help out. Even if it's just watching dd so that I can pack more easily or making dinner because I was packing/organising all day. He's also in charge of cleaning the bathroom <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> But we consider that to be totally fair since the cat litter is in there and since I get the rest of the house!<br><br>
At the very least you can tell your dh that other SAHM's husbands help out around the house and are happy to do so <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> After all - they at least get weekends (or at least one day a week) off and we're ALWAYS at work.<br><br>
And I'm sorry I got so long-winded. I get rambly when I'm pg <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/innocent.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shy"><br><br>
love and peace. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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Aww, thanks for the support you guys! I feel better today, I've cooled down a bit, but who knows how long that will last, I'm sure the hormones are contributing.<br><br>
Anyways, cousin can't go, we depend on his rent, so that's crappy huh! haha. I have problem with confrontation, so I always leave it up to DP, and I have been in the room when he told his cousin to not use the soap anymore, and yesterday told him he needed to buy some toilette paper, so we'll see. DP, tries to make things easier I suppose, but I just feel like I have to nag, and he says "you could just ask me" I just feel like I shouldn't always have to ask. But like I said I'm feeling better, and it's good to know that I can always come here and get it out and feel supported, so thanks!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> My glasses broke, so hopefully i will be getting a new pair this weekend, that will help my mood, and I'm getting my yard all done, and I had the school psycologist here today evaluationg my 3 year old, and that looks promising, and I think if I just finish dinner and then leave for my walk with the dogs in the evening when DP gets home I should be ok. I need to do some meditaion too, that always helps my mood. Oh, and I'll be recieving some dipes in the mail early next week too YAY! ok, I'm done rambling, thanks again!<br><br>
Lots of love<br>
and<br>
Blessings<br>
LeeAnn
 

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I'm so glad you're feeling better! We had to move when dd was a month old because we couldn't afford the rent after my "friend" moved out, and I would NOT recommend moving with a tiny babe. Best wishes! I hope everything gets worked out well before the babe comes <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
love and peace. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 
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