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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm sure there are bound to be many in the coming months!

I had my first really memorable one today.

We met up with a group of friends at the park today, and one couple I know is quite strong in their belief that everyone should have one or zero children. (They have one) and believe the only responsible type of birth control is that which is permanent. We've had friendly debates in the past about how we feel and how we've come to believe what we do. We've talked before about how I was quite done with 2 kids. So, I felt weird about seeing her and her dh today b/c I didn't know how they'd react to my pregnancy and having a 3rd child. But they were very sweet and congratulatory.


Anyway- the husband and I are playing with the kids, and he asks me if we were planning on having a 3rd child, and I said, no, we weren't, but sometimes life has other plans so we're going with it. And he asked me, "so what type of contraception were you using, and did you just forget to use it, or did it fail? How did this happen?"


Soo.... am I supposed to explain to him about how my fertility signs were unclear that month and go into detail, or what?? Geez. I could see if a close friend and I were in a conversation and it led to that...but to be grilled by someone's husband on whether I was responsibly using bc or not, was a bit much!!
 

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SERIOUSLY!!!! I would have wanted to slap him!!

Since I couldn't slap him I would have gone into painful, embarrassing, dirty details. He would have heard ALL about my cervical mucous, then my temp spike without the usual stretchy, stringy mucous I usually get (with much talk of egg whites...), how I had heavy bleeding during my last cycle (full of stories of clots and leaking on the bedsheets), how we were DTD and the condom broke but I was so busy... well... you get the idea. I would have humiliated him so badly that he seriously would have thought twice about EVER asking another pregnant woman that question again.

But, that's just how I am.


Sorry you had to go through that mama, he was way out of line. Maybe their talk of "permanent" birth control is all talk and they haven't followed through on it yet and your surprise pg'cy scared him. That aside, he had no business asking you that. If he asks again.... horrify him!!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by bethanyclaire View Post
He would have heard ALL about my cervical mucous, then my temp spike without the usual stretchy, stringy mucous I usually get (with much talk of egg whites...), how I had heavy bleeding during my last cycle (full of stories of clots and leaking on the bedsheets), how we were DTD and the condom broke but I was so busy... well... you get the idea.
Yeah, I was wondering how much detail he was asking for and how much I should share!!
 

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this really gets me going, because it is like malthusian theory reborn.

Statistics for population growth have been going down and down over the past years. There is no population crisis. And furthermore, it isn't the people that's the problem, it is the way they live and consume and use resources. So yes, it is possible for people to live with less (my family of 5 consumes/has a much smaller foot print then many 2 people families!).

I love how these people need to force sterilization on other people, too! Look, if they want to have one child, great. But who is he to get up in your business about what you do in your bedroom?

Honesty, I would have gone off on him. If he believes he is saving the world by sterilizing himself, then more power to him.
 

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See my sig


Yeah, we've had some hassle too. I've been pretty blunt about the fact that this baby is a miracle, because unless a properly used condom failed (and that's a word that shuts people up VERY quickly) it's either rancid sperm that was hanging around for 10 days before ovulation, or a mouldy egg from 4 days after.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by evinmom View Post
Totally inappropriate, but it sounds like he was scared by the possibility of it happening to him.
This was my first thought as well and he just doesn't have the common sense to figure out how rude his questioning was.
 

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I am in the same situation!! We told the world we were done after #3 (our first surprise) and March was a weird fertility month, I'm pretty sure I ovulated twice and the second time I chalked it up to PMS resulting in #4 coming soon to a family near me.

My best freind's husband, (who's our pastor, lol) asked how it happened and I gladly explained the ins and outs of natrual family planning and my awful reactions to hormonal birth control and the reason we couldn't afford a vescectimy in the past 4 years. I also told him (as I told my kids) that my life got better with each one of them so this is going to be great.

He actually wasn't the first person to ask me that, though. I guess since we made it known far and wide that we were done it does bring about questions. I mean, I'm sure a bunch more ppl thought it, it was just a few that asked. I can also fall on "My plans don't always match up with God's plans." when I'm not in the mood to make someone squirm!
 

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We're pg with #3, but I really want 4 total. I tell people "we're not overpopulating the earth, we're outnumbering the idiots." I agree that my family of 4 (soon to be 5) has a much smaller footprint than many 2 or 3 person families I know. Soon to be even less, once DH graduates and gets a job and we can afford our little homestead that I've been dreaming about.
 

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I am sooooo tempted to go the TMI route when I get questions like that (luckily, not very often) but I'm usually caught off guard.

Or just act like I'm explaining the birds & the bees to a little kid, because really, how do you think it happened?
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by justmandy View Post
My best freind's husband, (who's our pastor, lol) asked how it happened and I gladly explained the ins and outs of natrual family planning and my awful reactions to hormonal birth control and the reason we couldn't afford a vescectimy in the past 4 years. I also told him (as I told my kids) that my life got better with each one of them so this is going to be great.
That is cute! Was he happy to get a lesson on NFP?

I had another one today...not that bad, and I think I'd better get used to it and figure out a standard, polite answer!

I met up with someone I know, but wouldn't exactly say is a close friend, in a small, crowded waiting room. Of course, she had heard I was pregnant and announced, So was it planned? to the room. I really get dumbfounded when I hear that...as if I'm going to explain my sex life and fertility to people in public with strangers listening. I just said, well no, but I'm not going to go into detail here.

And of course the obligatory, How are you feeling? At this point I really do feel fine and normal. But that isn't exciting enough and somehow sounds rude if I just say "fine". As if I need to be exhausted and vomiting!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Awaken View Post
That is cute! Was he happy to get a lesson on NFP?

I had another one today...not that bad, and I think I'd better get used to it and figure out a standard, polite answer!

I met up with someone I know, but wouldn't exactly say is a close friend, in a small, crowded waiting room. Of course, she had heard I was pregnant and announced, So was it planned? to the room. I really get dumbfounded when I hear that...as if I'm going to explain my sex life and fertility to people in public with strangers listening. I just said, well no, but I'm not going to go into detail here.

And of course the obligatory, How are you feeling? At this point I really do feel fine and normal. But that isn't exciting enough and somehow sounds rude if I just say "fine". As if I need to be exhausted and vomiting!
Planned?

Is everything in these peoples lives really that well planned out? I mean, come on. There is only so much you can "plan."

Life is what happens to you when you are making other plans.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Awaken View Post
That is cute! Was he happy to get a lesson on NFP?
He was too embarrassed to say much...I love doing that to him though...I once dyed my hair pink just to get under his skin lol.

Quote:

Originally Posted by carmel23
Life is what happens to you when you are making other plans.
This is great, I may have to have this as my new mantra!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Awaken View Post
So was it planned? to the room.
No, I like my sex spontaneous. VERY spontaneous if you know what I mean. <<insert over the top and potentially pervy winks here>>

We get asked that. But this is technically surprise 2.
 

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we never even implied to each other, let alone anyone else, that our ds2 would be our last kid. we haven't even really ruled out more after this one, altho there has been some talk of a vasectomy... (my bf loves having new babies, as much as i do, tho... lol) and yet we do get asked how this happened... my mil assumed that we couldn't get pregnant again because we co-sleep. haha. taught her a thing or two about where sex can take place. lol.

what's really strange to me is how many people, bf's friends mostly, act as if this is completely unwanted. one guy went so far as to apologize. "wow, sorry man... what are you going to do?" it seems like since we're not married, 1 kid together was just something that kind of happens sometimes, but a 2nd kid together was epically bad! but we're excited as all get out. so my bf just says, "thats cool, man. i'm not. i can't wait for another one!"


has anyone will a few gotten the "do you know what causes this?" yet??? ugh!! most aggravating thing a person can say to me. "oh, pregnant again?? have you figured out what causes this yet??" its not funny. its rude!! "yeah, i know what causes it. sex. still haven't figured out what causes rude, bizarre comments tho..."
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
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Originally Posted by VeezieTG View Post
"yeah, i know what causes it. sex. still haven't figured out what causes rude, bizarre comments tho..."


Your partner sounds like a pretty cool person.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by VeezieTG View Post
has anyone will a few gotten the "do you know what causes this?" yet??? ugh!! most aggravating thing a person can say to me. "oh, pregnant again?? have you figured out what causes this yet??" its not funny. its rude!! "yeah, i know what causes it. sex. still haven't figured out what causes rude, bizarre comments tho..."
I wish someone would ask me that!
I saw on here once long ago (and now its a common reply to threads like this
) someone answered her pastor with, "Well we were told it's sex but secretly I think it's the sharing of soap and toothbrushes". I think that would be so freaking hilarious to say.
I agree though, it's rude to ask. I think if anyone ever did ask the first thing I'd say is something along the lines of , "No, do tell". Everyone knows whats "causes" this. Kindergarten kids know for crying out loud!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by justmandy View Post
He was too embarrassed to say much...I love doing that to him though...I once dyed my hair pink just to get under his skin lol.

This is great, I may have to have this as my new mantra!
Justmandy, I think it is a quote from John Lennon... It's been my mantra lately, too.
 
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