Over-emotional preggo thoughts

544 Views 8 Replies 8 Participants Last post by KarmaChameleon, Apr 6, 2006

tatgurl

Discussion Starter · Apr 4, 2006

I just have to get this off my chest cause I can't seem to talk to DH about it. I'm having a hard time right now and have been down for a couple of days. I'm having trouble handling my new found libido. DH and I have always had a great sexual relationship (with it's ups and downs due to hormone changes assoc. with pregnancies, childbirth, child raising and breastfeeding). And like most guys he typically can't get enough. so, since I've been wanting it all the time now, I thought that we would be back to our pre-baby regularity.

Well, I just feel like I'm pushing myself on him all the time now. I feel like it's me initiating and I feel like he is not as receptive as he use to be. I also weaned my 2 1/2 yr. old a week ago, so I feel like my body is my own for the first time in over 5 yrs.

Another thing is that I know that he looks at nude pics on-line. This has never bothered me before and he is totally open about it, but now that I'm pg. I feel so inadequate and huge compared to all the younger skinny girls he's looking at

I've also been trying to make an effort to look nice and dress to show off my "fertile body". I have only really gained weight in my belly and it's cute and round.

I'm sorry, I've just been crying about this for days and can't get my head around it.

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eleven

· #2 · Apr 4, 2006

Mel, I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. These hormones certainly put us through the ringer, don't they?

You said that you can't seem to talk to dh about it, but I honestly think that it would be a good conversation to have. I'm sure he would be nothing but reassuring and you might find that he quite enjoys having a sexy mama throwing herself at him all the time!

Of course, I can't really relate myself. I've been nursing for so long I don't even remember what it felt like to have a libido.

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3_angels

· #3 · Apr 4, 2006

I hear ya, hon. My boyfriend and I used to have an at least 2x a week sex life, and now it's more like once every three weeks. It's killing me too, I just long to be close to him.

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mrs rockstar

· #4 · Apr 4, 2006

I can imagine that's a hard conversation to start but I'm with Pease, I bet once you get it out there and start talking about it and just let him know how you're feeling, you'll feel better.

Good luck! And enjoy that libido, lucky lady, I saw mine briefly around the one year nursing mark just long enough to get pregnant again and have it fly the coop.

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peilover010202

· #5 · Apr 4, 2006

I agree sweetie, talk to your dh. Pregnancy and sex in combination are hard. and I bet my dh feels a lot like you (like he's pushing himself on me.) So, I think it would be helpful if you explained how you feel and I also think it's perfectly reasonable for you to explain that with your new gorgeous belly, you feel a little self-conscious about the skinny girls he's looking at and ask for reassurance.

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2 in August

· #6 · Apr 4, 2006

Momma,

Sorry you are feeling down. The hormones can be a blessing and a curse. I hate bringing up stuff like that with my dh too. But if I don't my emotions get way out of control and things get much worse. Maybe you could bring it up in the context of how hot you think it is when he _____ and how these raging hormones are making it so you can't keep your hands off him because of how great he is. That way it's not you accusing him of not finding you attractive because you're not sure that that is even the case. But it is a way to start talking that is non-confrontational (a big prob for me cause I hate to cause problems) while it still gets the situation out in the air to be talked about it.

Maybe that's not your style, so go with what works for you. Just don't keep bottling up your feelings because it will back fire on you and make things worse instead of better.

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SummerTwilight

· #7 · Apr 4, 2006

Also, I don't know if this could be the case with you but my husband seems like part of his not-as-sexually-potent self has been being caused by 1. Being exhausted since I am tossing and turning at night and it makes him not sleep well. 2. Stress of the whole having a child thing, including finances. and 3. Not wanting to hurt me at all since my body is a little harder to access now.

I would definately find a way to discuss it and see if it is just something simple like that. Meanwhile, I am totally jealous of your libido cause I haven't cared about sex once since I got pregnant. I have NO sex drive...what is wrong with me? Although it is better since my midwives told me not to have sex since I have been having so many contractions. :-(

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tatgurl

Discussion Starter · #8 · Apr 5, 2006

Thank you all so much for all your support and understanding. I have to tell you that I feel SOOO much better today. We didn't have a talk, but I feel a lot better about things. We actually got to sleep in the same bed together last night and by ourselves to boot!!! We took full advantage of it too!! Needless to say, I've had a huge smile on my face all day today.

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KarmaChameleon

· #9 · Apr 6, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by tatgurl
We took full advantage of it too!! Needless to say, I've had a huge smile on my face all day today.

Ya had to go and rub it in, eh? My libido is raging but dh seems to want nothing to do with me....says he's afraid he'll hurt me....*sigh*...gotta love pregnancy and all its side effects. Looking forward to September over here....

p.s I can;t thank you enough for the wonderful swap package...I am so taking a bath tonight and sending hubby out with the kids. If you'll excuse me, they are fighting over the little doll right now

And my 5 yo says "She;s a REALLY good wrapper mom. " Stay tuned for your package next week, I had a really aggravating experience on ebay and am still waiting for some goodies argh. Anyways,

s to you

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