Hey, my lo was born on July 22. I had horrible nipple pain from her nursing. My first was nursed till he was 3.5 years old and we had zero problems. I took my little dd to the WIC lactation IBCLC when she was 3 days old. It was clear from a weighted feed that she was not transferring well (my milk came in the night before). But the IBCLC kind of left it at 'you'll get the hang of it'. I even brought up a breast pump but she said they like to wait 2 weeks before issuing.
When dd was 2 weeks old she had a check up with the IBCLC and a Ped appointment the same day. She hadn't gained at all. A day later I saw a very old school LLL leader who has decades experience helping moms. She told me that dd was not nursing efficiently and therefore not removing milk, my body started making less milk. She told me before we get her checked for a tongue tie, I need to work on upping my supply. I did an intensive 10 day pumping routine and dd was supplemented with my milk and formula. Eventually local moms were bringing me their milk and we phased out the formula. DD gained well. I decided to start on domperidone. It will be 5 weeks on dom this Friday. We had dd's tongue and upper lip ties corrected. 2 and a half weeks ago I told my local daily milk donor, I didn't think we needed her milk and I could get any extra milk from my night pumping. I had like 4-5 bags in a row in the fridge at any given time. I soon after quite the supplementing all together.
Fast forward to now: I am a nervous wreck. I am having panic attacks about dd getting enough. She is gaining well (I have a medela scale), pooping 3-4 times a day and having many soaking wet dipes, but I am having panic episodes. I worry she isn't getting enough and is starving. I feel so fearful I consider switching to formula just to have the peace of mind that I know what she is getting. I won't allow myself to do weighted feeds on a regular basis, because I know that will make me even worse. The obsessive numbers. This past weekend was so bad, I really freaked out. Luckily my mom was there and helped me. I have a lot of support. Friends and acquaintances. Some of whom survived low milk supply and got their supplies up. One of them told me she had paranoia after her supply was sufficient, too.
This breastfeeding experience has been nothing like the last. It is really hard on me. I NEVER thought about how much my ds was getting. He just fed, and grew and that was that. I am pretty scarred from the whole experience. I fear leaving the house to varying degrees. I talk circles in my head about breastfeeding, supplementing, weaning from BFing and back again. I guess, if baby is gaining 5-7 ounces a week and having normal diaper output, they are getting enough, right?
Anyway, I am getting set up with a PPD therapist and I have called local PPD support networks. I cannot live like this. To make things worse, DH is kind of in between work, and I know that is taking a tole on me mentally. Sorry if this was rambley, I had to get it out.:frown: I just want things to be simple and to feel normal again.
When dd was 2 weeks old she had a check up with the IBCLC and a Ped appointment the same day. She hadn't gained at all. A day later I saw a very old school LLL leader who has decades experience helping moms. She told me that dd was not nursing efficiently and therefore not removing milk, my body started making less milk. She told me before we get her checked for a tongue tie, I need to work on upping my supply. I did an intensive 10 day pumping routine and dd was supplemented with my milk and formula. Eventually local moms were bringing me their milk and we phased out the formula. DD gained well. I decided to start on domperidone. It will be 5 weeks on dom this Friday. We had dd's tongue and upper lip ties corrected. 2 and a half weeks ago I told my local daily milk donor, I didn't think we needed her milk and I could get any extra milk from my night pumping. I had like 4-5 bags in a row in the fridge at any given time. I soon after quite the supplementing all together.
Fast forward to now: I am a nervous wreck. I am having panic attacks about dd getting enough. She is gaining well (I have a medela scale), pooping 3-4 times a day and having many soaking wet dipes, but I am having panic episodes. I worry she isn't getting enough and is starving. I feel so fearful I consider switching to formula just to have the peace of mind that I know what she is getting. I won't allow myself to do weighted feeds on a regular basis, because I know that will make me even worse. The obsessive numbers. This past weekend was so bad, I really freaked out. Luckily my mom was there and helped me. I have a lot of support. Friends and acquaintances. Some of whom survived low milk supply and got their supplies up. One of them told me she had paranoia after her supply was sufficient, too.
This breastfeeding experience has been nothing like the last. It is really hard on me. I NEVER thought about how much my ds was getting. He just fed, and grew and that was that. I am pretty scarred from the whole experience. I fear leaving the house to varying degrees. I talk circles in my head about breastfeeding, supplementing, weaning from BFing and back again. I guess, if baby is gaining 5-7 ounces a week and having normal diaper output, they are getting enough, right?
Anyway, I am getting set up with a PPD therapist and I have called local PPD support networks. I cannot live like this. To make things worse, DH is kind of in between work, and I know that is taking a tole on me mentally. Sorry if this was rambley, I had to get it out.:frown: I just want things to be simple and to feel normal again.
