[bncunningham]

Just wanted to share that I am overdue with my second baby...everyone said I would go early this time...so I have been ready since 38 weeks...I am at 41 now.

I am just so irritable and everything my husband does is wrong. I'm trying so hard to keep the house clean and he goes around leaving messes all over the place...I'm already cleaning up after one child...I don't need another! Plus, I keep waiting for him to start doing more to help me with our 2 year old. I was reading in the Sears Pregnancy book that dad's should just take over the chores and leave the mother to rest and prepare for labor and birth. They suggest offering massages and bringing food/water to mamma too! Today, after I took dd to the children's museum, napped with her and then played with her...I barely got him to go for a walk with us this evening...then he came home and laid on the couch and started watching Seinfeld!! I am just furious...then he asks if I am o.k.! When I replied...no, I really angry with you...he suggested that maybe I call someone or write about it!

I know my anger is 90% about me...but, he has a good 10% in there. If only he would change, if only he would be different...then everything we be o.k....right???

I also know that most of this is my perception...I am choosing to see what he's not doing, instead of focusing on what he is...but, darn it...I just want to be mad at someone right now!

 

[EyesOfTheWorld]

Oh mama! I was 44/45 (?) weeks with dd2 and I totally know where you're coming from. I was NOT a sweet wife those last few weeks! No one could do anything right and I just wanted to hold my baby NOW.

I wish I had some words of advice but it'll be over before you know it!

 

[DecemberSun]

I have a very lazy and completely oblivious husband too.

I'm sorry, Mama... Hang in there!

 

[Tori Gollihugh]

hang in there

 

[MrsTC]

Not to incite you further, but you'd think that your husband would be better about things like that this time around...be able to anticipate your super-pregnant state and all the things it does to a woman's body and psyche. He's asking for it if he's coming home and plopping down in front of the tv, if you ask me.

When crap like that happens around here, pregnant or not, the level of service goes waaaaaay down. Like, I don't try to make meals when dh is home to eat them fresh, ds and I eat when we're hungry...laundry doesn't necessarily get done before it's overflowing everywhere...I quit doing the little things I do for him that make his quality of life easier (for him to be lazy). Passive aggressive, I know, but when talking doesn't work and those hormones are there...it's that or else!

Meditate with me (I'm not even out of the first tri and I'm already chanting)..."I will not be pregnant forever. This too shall pass."

 

[firstwomantomars]

Hi!

My first child was born two weeks early so I expected somewhat the same with my second but she was born late!

During those couple days, I was VERY angry, mostly at the baby because I could feel she was ready but also at my husband for some of the same reasons you give.

All during my pregnancy I put a lot of effort into remaining peaceful and serene for the new baby's arrival but in the end I was nowhere near that state of mind.

I was convinced my husband would help out more when I'd be at the end of my pregnancy, that surely he would finally realize that I needed help and pitch in. But it didn't happen. He was wonderful during the final birth (about an hour) but totally absent (although physically present) during labor and when we came home from the birthing center. All my chores remained undone.

But the question: why do we expect someone to change overnight?

I know his usual level of participation in house chores, child care, house management, etc is low. Though I disapprove and deeply regret the fact that we do not share these equally, we are still working on it and itś a fact of life for now.

We're making progress, but it will take time.

He will not change over a few days, even when I really need help.

So what I feel may be best now is to accept this reality (temporarily) and look for help elsewhere. I have no family nearby but several friends have offered to help here and there and I never felt confident enough to know what and when to ask. Now I'll try.

This may not help you now, but just in case your situation is similar, just think that it may be possible that you need outside help after the birth too. Is there anyone other than your husband who can help out?

Or you may be wonderfully surprised by your husband!!!

I wish you a beautiful birth and a relaxing and choreless after-birth!!!

 

[secretresistance]

I'm a little over 41 weeks here, and definitely finding it difficult to remain pleasant.

I'm sorry your husband isn't stepping up. Do you think it would help if he had a concrete list of things to do to help out? My DP is really great about doing his part and more, but sometimes he needs more direction than I would think. We just don't see the same things as problem areas, you know?

Here's hoping our babes debut shortly!

 

[cornflower_3]

*

 

[MamaFern]

i totally know how you feel!

my first was born a week early and my second was 2 weeks late!
i was expecting her at 38 weeks.. and the days just dragged on and on.. i wasnt living with my kids dad at the time and was pretty much overwhelmed.
maybe i would have been more overwhelmed if i was living with him.. he also is a gbit oblivious

take it easy and know that your baby will come at the righ ttime. its so hard to hear but once you have your sweet child in your arms all of the hard days will feel like they were sooo worth it.

 

[DreamsInDigital]

I had a tough time being overdue with my third. For some reason, I absolutely INSISTED that since this was my third baby he would come before my due date. My previous two were born at 41 weeks 4 days and 41 weeks 3 days respectively, so I have no idea how I came to the conclusion that #3 would be early.

DS#3 was born at 42 weeks and 1 day and I was an absolute lunatic by the time he was born.

Being overdue is SO hard. Happy birthing, when ever the time comes.

 

[RainbowsMum]

You must be going crazy... I'm not even due yet and I'm loosing my mind. I should start a spinoff thread called "Not due yet and angry"

 

[ConfusedPrincess]

Quote:

Originally Posted by RainbowsMum You must be going crazy... I'm not even due yet and I'm loosing my mind. I should start a spinoff thread called "Not due yet and angry"

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