[ajourni]

Hello, I'm hoping I can get a bit of advice. I was due August 14th (three days ago) but my OB's consider August 10th my due date. They said they "can't" use my date, which is based on ovulation rather than LMP (even though an ultrasound at 6 weeks confirmed MY date!)

I had a NST yesterday and the baby is doing great, I had contractions 6 or 7 minutes apart at the beginning but they tapered off and stopped. A sono showed there was plenty of fluid. The baby is not engaged, and I am not dialated or effaced at all. When the OB came in, she gave me a real hassle. I told her I would not even consider an induction until a minimum of 42 weeks by my dates. She said, and I quote, that I was quibbling about a few days and the baby could be dead in a week. Needless to say, I left there rather upset. Now I'm second-guessing myself and my body, wondering if the baby is positioned incorrectly and that is why I'm not dialating. I *think* he's in a left anterior position most of the time, but I'm not sure (all the doc could tell me was that he is head down!) I have had *tons* of bladder pressure, which is why I'm worried about position. BTW, this is my third pregnancy. The first was 10 days late, the second was three days early.

I don't have the option of finding another OB. There are only 2 groups in this area, and both are about the same. No midwives at all. I birth fairly quickly. This is a multi-doc practice, so the best I can do is avoid the docs I don't like. I do know that until sunday, the "decent" doctors are on call. I don't know who is on next week.

My question is, what can I do to encourage this baby to engage? Normally, I wouldn't worry about it and just let the baby come when it would. But I really want to avoid this OB if possible, she'll have me so stressed out I'll be begging for drugs. I'm going to the local mall to walk right now (in air conditioning!) and I'm going to look for an exercise ball. I was also thinking about trying pelvic tilts. I've been scouring the internet for info.

Sorry about the length of this. I wanted to make sure I included everything relevant. Honestly, I'm so stressed, I don't know how I could possibly go into labor. But I really feel that if I go before sunday, and get the decent docs, I'll be able to have a natural, positive experience. If I have one of the two OB's I dislike, I'm worried that I'll be so stressed that I'll end up sectioned from "failure to progress." Help, please!

Thanks in advance for any info.

-ajourni

 

[alegna]

Practice saying no and make sure your partner will back you up. Do NOT go in for inductions or sections. They can't force you. Do not sign the blanket consent forms for the hospital. Labor at home as long as possible.

Would you consider unassisted?

-Angela

 

[nurnur]

First of all I want to offer my

to you. I know this position all too well when the OB scared me into a planned c-section w/o labor with my twins as they were afraid that my old incision was going to burst at any moment and my babies would die. There is no magic trick to getting your baby to send your body the message that it is ready, but I do know that stress will have the opposite affect as you have already mentioned. You are on the right track in knowing that your baby knows his/her time, you are your own bodies and babies expert. The best advice that I could offer you, is to go inside yourself, talk to this baby, tell your baby that your trust him to know when and how to be born, if you KNOW this in your being then no one can tell you otherwise as hard as they will try. You are a strong, smart women who have every right and responsibility to make "informed consent" or rather "informed refusal" to their scare tactic recommendations. Then settle in, rent some movies that you love, run a bath, read a good book, take some time to let go and GET QUIET. This stress is exactly whey 1 in 4 women end up with c-sections and that 95% of women will not leave the hospital w/o some kind of intervention imposed on them. Of course I have to ask....any midwives in your town? Any thought to having this baby at home? I do know mw's that have taken women at the very last minute when they are up against situations like this. Thinking of you and sending my wishes for a peaceful birth. Please let us know how it goes.

~Carrie

 

[Alison Cole]

I have heard of massage therapists who can do labor readiness or "induction" massage, which should only work if the body is ready. Even if you can't find a massage therapist to do a labor-stimulating massage, perhaps the relaxation of a massage will do you good anyway?

Also, I have a prenatal yoga video that suggests squatting postures to help efface and dilate the cervix, when your body is ready. For optimal fetal positioning, the video suggests cat pose -- on all fours, alternately arch the back (releasing the tailbone and head to hang down) and flexing the back, reaching up with the chin and rolling the shoulders back). If you aren't familiar with these poses, I suggest you get some pictures or a video (from the library?) before trying it out -- a picutre is worth a thousand words!

Hope this helps, and best of luck. As Angela's post says, you have the right to refuse any intervention offered -- you're the customer here!

Blessings for a peacful birth.

~Alison

 

[ajourni]

I did, unfortunately, sign a consent form at the office that gets sent to the hospital. However, I put an arrow in and added "with my consent." There are no midwives around here, and I will look for massage therapists but it's doubtful I'll find any who know *anything* about pregnancy. I live in a backwards, unprogressive, little county. I definately would have considered a homebirth, but not unassisted. I think I'd be too distracted to *think*, and my husband would be in sheer terror. If he was confident about it, it would be different.

I know I can keep refusing induction, and I plan to, but they're stressing me out. One of my problems is that she achieved her goal of making me fear placental decay. Does anyone have statistics showing percentages of fetal compromise after 40 weeks? To set my mind at ease. I'm worried that *since* I'm worried, my labor *won't* ever start, if that makes any sense. If I had just missed that appointment, I may have had the baby by now! My next appointment isn't until next wednesday, and I'm sure they'll be pushing even more at that time (to them, I'll be "13 days" overdue.) It's loads of fun having a doc tell you that you're going to kill your baby.

I just came back from walking at the mall. I had contractions about every 6 minutes when I was walking, but now they've stopped. I bought an exercise ball, and I'm going to try that out.

Thanks so much for the replies, I really need support right now. I know they're wrong but that doesn't stop me from worrying and trying to second-guess myself.

 

[MamaRabbit]

When I was past 40wk with my DS, I just didn't show up for the next appointment. Yeah they weren't happy with me, but too bad. I didn't have to hear the negativity.

I went to see a funny movie in a dark, cool theatre and it relaxed me so much. Then I went home and DS gave me a long foot massage. Woke up the next morning relaxed. Went into labor that evening. DS was born at 41wk 1 day.

If your 1st went 10 days over, obviously your body has no problem maintaining placentas!

 

[chandasz]

If the NSTs are not showing any problems with the baby, then trust your body. They will continue to try to scare you with the dead baby stuff. Nasty, horrible people. I was born 4 weeks past my due date. I'm fine. Dr. Bradley, in his book, had a patient go 3 MONTHS past her due date and gave birth to a healthy baby.

The stress is more likely going to trigger your fight or flight response and prevent you from going into labor easily. Relax. Watch tear jerker movies, walk, have sex, have a glass of wine.

 

[laneysprout]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alison Cole I have heard of massage therapists who can do labor readiness or "induction" massage, which should only work if the body is ready. Even if you can't find a massage therapist to do a labor-stimulating massage, perhaps the relaxation of a massage will do you good anyway?

Do you have access to an acupuncturist in your area? They can often utilize pressure points (one on the inner ankle, and another on the hand just below the knuckle on the index finger) that can encourage labor if you're almost there, but won't do anything if you're not. Good luck to you, and hang in there. This is your birth and you should not consent to anything you're not comfortable with.

 

[alegna]

There is NOTHING showing any risk to the baby after 40 weeks. The only studies show a SLIGHT risk after 42 weeks.

-Angela

 

[hippiemom]

I agree that it is past 42 weeks that things need extra attention, not past 40!! Seeing as those due dates can be incorrect by 2 weeks either way... NST's that show babe is fine means s/he can cook for a while

Yes, asswipe doc who told you the baby could be dead next week... not so, unless there are outstanding helath reasons to indicate that you are at risk (infection, blood pathology, etc).

The stress WILL prolong your going into labor. Treat yourself to some peace and QUIET from those who are making you worry. Wine, SEX, long walks, good food and rest, that is all you need now. The baby is not giong to stay in there, and these things can help you relax so your body gets started. "Getting started" by the way can take a week or 2, slow softening and dilation before prodromal labor; regular BH contrax that get the runway ready.. all that good stuff. But jeez, no need to worry this early in the game.

good luck!

 

[MothertheMother]

I agree with the others posts about relaxing and trusting your instincts etc. But, if you are concerned about positioning www.spinningbabies.com is a great resource. There is tons of info about babys position, belly mapping etc. I hope it helps. At the very least it might help you to feel like you are doing something to help.

 

[jlpetitte]

Quote:

Do you have access to an acupuncturist in your area? They can often utilize pressure points (one on the inner ankle, and another on the hand just below the knuckle on the index finger) that can encourage labor if you're almost there, but won't do anything if you're not

Actually, if you find a authentic acupuncturist (not american usually) or real chinese medicine doctor they won't try to naturally induce even if your past your due date. They really believe in the sanctity of when the baby is ready it will come out and they don't want to jeopardize that (which I love).

On a side note, a friend of mine agreed to be induced on her due date and the baby was early and spent the night in the NICU. She wasn't able to bond (her quote) or BF the baby until the next day and now she is having a hard time nursing.

 

[khaoskat]

DS1 was born at 42w 5d, and perfectly...no signs of being past due. When ped did the guesstimate of gestational age, it was 38 weeks.

DS2 was born at 42 weeks exactly...again, no signs of being past due.

 

[ajourni]

Thanks for all the replies. Is there any time when I *should* start worrying? After 42 weeks? After 43? If a NST shows everything is well at 42 weeks, could the baby really have serious problems by 43 weeks, or would it only be slightly worse? I guess what I'm asking, is can placenta function really degrade that much in a week? If NST's once a week are showing things are fine, do I just keep going indefinitely? (It's pathetic that I'm worried about going past 43 weeks when I'm only 5 days overdue!)

Meanwhile, I walked a bit this morning and watched all of Pirates of the Caribbean last night perched on my exercise ball. Maybe it won't help anything, but it certainly is relaxing and comfortable! I'm getting obsessed about the state of my underwear (I never thought I'd hope so much to find blood there!) but so far, nothing.

I'm trying to relax, but I'm stressed about being stressed, lol. I bet if I had missed that appointment (or had a decent OB), I would've had the baby already.

Thanks everybody.

-Allie / ajourni

 

[CEG]

My son was high and not engaged and I spent about 3 days bouncing on my exercise ball. When I went back in he was engaged and very low. He was born three days later. I do think the exercise ball really helps to open the pelvis and encourage baby to go down. Chances are you won't be pregnant long enough to worry about 43 weeks- I think the average first pregnancy is 41 weeks and 1 day. GL!

 

[courtenay_e]

Where do you live? Please, FIND A DOULA! Then, plan to stay home 'till you're nearing transition, with the support of your doula. Then, go in, push the baby out, and do it, again, with the advocacy and support of your doula. REALLY! Having a doula support you now (and it's NEVER too late to hire a doula...I was hired three days before one of my mamas gave birth, and we had a GREAT rapport!), and I mean NOW, while you're looking for information and support, can be invaluable. Doulas are great resources for education. She can give you the stats on paper to TAKE WITH you (IF you decide not to say that you need to be home with your dear child who has the stomach flu, rather than being there and being harrassed...)to show that rotten OB how wrong she is (although she knows how wrong she is...how dare she say that YOU are quibbling over a few days! I say it goes both ways) Then we're really great at supporting you at home to be sure that you stay away from the interventions of an everyday hospital experience, whether you have the "bad" docs or not. The longer you're at home, the less chance those docs even have of getting there on time for the birth!

All that said, you are correct, the risk doesn't even begin until the 43rd week, and then it is only a slightly higher risk. And, no, if you're eating well, taking good care of yourself, generally a healthy person, there is no reason to believe that the placenta will suddenly and spontaenously stop working properly. The baby will release the hormones necessary when it is READY to be born, and not sooner. What a crock!

Please, get a doula.

 

[bri276]

it's not too late to switch to a midwife or another OB. personally I would NOT stay with a doctor who actually used the words your baby could be dead. It's a big warning sign that they won't respect your wishes during labor.

I switched to my midwife when I was about 36 wks pregant because I wasn't happy in my former OB's office- I'm so glad I did! call them today

 

[DreamsInDigital]

I wouldn't worry unless a NST showed serious signs of distress. You can safely go to 43 weeks or beyond as long as the baby is tolerating it well.
You DO NOT have to go in for an induction you do not want. Your body WILL go into labor when the time is right for your baby.

 

[ajourni]

I wish there were other options, because I would leave this practice in a heartbeat. However, there are only 2 practices in this area, and the other is just as bad. No midwives around here at all...our hospital is not that big. The closest doula listing I've found is nearly an hour away, and I birth quickly. My daughter was born about an hour after I got to the hospital...when I left home, I wasn't even sure I was in labor.

My plan is, if I think I'm in labor, DH and I will drive up to the hospital and stop and have a cup of tea or something. When it gets closer, we'll go to the hospital and wait in the car nearby and listen to music. When it's really close, THEN we'll go into the hospital. I'm not giving them any time to mess with me. As far as I'm concerned, their job is to catch the baby and that's it.

I do want to go to the appointment, because of the NST. I think I'm going to come up with a couple of statements ahead of time and repeat them to everything they say. Maybe I should just invest in a pair of earplugs.

I'm really hoping to deliver before or on Sunday, when Decent Doc is on call. After that, it's roulette.

I really appreciate the reassurances that the baby will be okay, everybody. I'm feeling a little better at the moment. Although my mood has certainly been oscillating. Thanks again, everybody!

-Allie

 

[homebirthing]

Just so you know, the "dead baby card" as the doulas here in Minnesota have coined it, is used for EVERYTHING, from your baby is too big, gotta get it out or it could die, to you have group b strep and your baby will probably die. You wouldn't even believe how often it is used.