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I keep hearing this term used for women that are past 40 weeks. We don't say women who give birth before 40 weeks were early or "underdue".

So why should we use this term at minimum before 42 weeks which, unless things have changed, is still within the average length of pregnancy.
 

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Good question. I hate that I am made to feel "overdue". Such a negative way to end a pregnancy. Like I am not normal.
Waiting for answers... Thanks for the question.
 

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I was thinking about the term last night actually and got really mad. The logic or lack there of, just astounds me. Yes, lets make all women have babies by 40 weeks even though its obvious not all babies are ready to be born by then. We don't want a baby thats too big. We don't want a placenta to stop working. That makes no sense. Obviously some babies grow faster than others, if they didn't then every baby born at 36 weeks would weigh 5.5 lbs, every baby born at 37 weeks would weigh 6 lbs, and so on. Thats obviously not the case. And obvsiouly every woman gestates for a different amount of time or every woman would give birth at 40 weeks and not before or after.

40 weeks is avg, not the cut off. But so many women sued their drs because somethig happened after 40 weeks (you can see it, if my dr had only induced before 40 weeks this never would have happened). So 40 weeks became the cut off. Drs don't trust womens bodies because they don't trust women. And women don't trust womens bodies because they trust drs. So now 40 weeks is the cut off and anything past that is over the due date of when the dr feels comfortable deliverying without fear of a lawsuit. One of the things we often complain here about is hearing, "My dr won't let me go past x weeks." Or "My dr won't let me go past my due date." And most of these women are more than happy to go early and get it over with.

And I have heard lots of women say, I have gave birth, 1, 2, 3, or 4 weeks early when its not really early. Its within the avg pg length. I just tell everyone I always go to 42 weeks. I try to make it sound natrual and normal so people can see its really not a terrible thing to be "overdue".

Michelle (who has had way too many pg with people calling me over due)
 

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My oldest was born at 41w4d and my second was born at 41w3d. They were both beautiful and healthy babies and I wouldn't have wanted them born a second earlier. There is too much focus on due dates anymore, my midwife gives a due month.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Full Heart
And most of these women are more than happy to go early and get it over with.

Michelle (who has had way too many pg with people calling me over due)
While I do NOT agree, I totally get why women go along with it. I AM TIRED OF BEING PREGNANT! I feel so vulnerable right now, that if my midwife could induce, and I knew it was safe, I would do it. The docs get ignorant women, it a sensitive space and it happens all the time. So sad.
Michelle, also I like everything you had to say!
 

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My mom used to say that babies weren't overdue, they were right on time, their time. That has always stuck with me. So I never say oh, you're over due, I just say oh the baby is not ready yet.
Gossamer
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by gossamer
My mom used to say that babies weren't overdue, they were right on time, their time. That has always stuck with me. So I never say oh, you're over due, I just say oh the baby is not ready yet.
Gossamer
i like that!!!
 

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I always say to women that babies come on their birthdays and only babies know what that will be. I loved the last weeks of being pregnant. There was no focus on my due date, I barely knew how many weeks I was. It was wonderful and so many women are cheated of that by being persecuted by hospitals threatening to induce them FOR NO REASON AT ALL.

I had a friend here yesterday with a c-sec scar to prove why we don't go with those stupid inductions so I'm a little raw today...
 

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I'm currently 40w4d and HATING the word "overdue" and the social issues that go with it. My first child was born at 39-6, and at Christmastime, so people were preoccupied to beging with and I never hit that magic 40 mark, so we didn't get badgered about his birth. But this time, OMG. This past week:

- DH finally had to tell his mother to STOP CALLING. She had called 4 times in 5 days to "get the update." THERE IS NO UPDATE. I am still pregnant. When I am no longer pregnant and the baby has been born, we will tell you. Until then, if you haven't heard anything, there is nothing to tell. MIL and FIL actually told DH that we OWE them a daily update and that if it was a problem for me to get woken up from a much-needed nap, that I should have called them first to make sure that they didn't call and wake me up. Nice.

- random people have been coming out of the woodwork, sending email and leaving phone messages, all saying basically "I can't stand the suspense! Are you still pregnant? I'm SURE you've had THAT BABY by now." Dude. Chill. If you think that YOU can't stand the suspense, think how I feel, put the phone down, and slowly back away from your computer keyboard. We sent out the word when Griffin was born, you'll be notified when this baby is born. If you haven't gotten the announcement, there has not been a birth. And if I generally only talk to you twice a year on the phone, why the hell are you calling me to bug me about my due date, especially if you're SURE that I've "had that baby", in which case that baby and I are probably trying to rest?

- a family member who likes to get her nose into people's business bugged me about my due date and I told her that I'm still pregnant, feeling uncomfortable, and very ready to meet my baby. She told me that she COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDS. She does? Wait, this woman has never given birth, nor has she parented any children. She has never been pregnant. So...what exactly does she understand? If she understood, she wouldn't be bugging me.

- I dissolved in tears yesterday because I feel like everybody is WAITING for me to produce something. Tap-tap-tap of the feet...when is that Jess going to have THAT BABY? Like I'm holding out on them, or failing to meet a deadline. I'm a failure, a slacker, a freak. I know these things aren't true, but it's how it feels when people are hounding you.

- I was also upset the other day because I had to discuss induction with my OB. I somehow hadn't thought we would have to discuss it until I was actually AT 41.5 or 42 weeks. Not so. Why? Because I have to get on the schedule NOW. Why? Because the schedule fills up with 37 and 38 week elective inductions, leaving no room for women to decide at 42 weeks that an induction might be something to consider. This is insane.

I have decided that I hate the term "overdue" and that next time I'm pregnant, I'm not sharing the EDD with anybody. I will instead make up a range of dates that is about 2 weeks ahead of my actual EDD and tell them "mid to late June" instead of "June 7" when people ask. It would appear that going "overdue" is too stressful for me, primarily because some of my friends and relatives can't handle due date information sensitively, so they just won't get that info next time.
 

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Ughhhhh...people using the word "overdue" is one of my pet peeves!!!

Baby #2 is on the way, and this time I am telling everyone that my "due date" is when baby is 42 weeks (I'm not telling them that I'm "adjusting" the due date, I'm just doing it). In fact my midwife actually suggested I do this so I didn't get the grilling from everyone we know at 40 weeks.

DS was born at 41w2d (and not b/c he was ready, b/c he was induced), so I'm sure this little one has a chance of coming closer to 42 weeks than 40!

___________________________________
SAHM to a spectacular little boy, born 5/2003
:bf
AND SO excited to be
February 2006!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by funshine
Because the schedule fills up with 37 and 38 week elective inductions...
Oh, my aching head. Why?????
A friend of my sister's went to the hospital for a test (can't remember which one), and was told that she should just go ahead and schedule her induction - or just skip that and schedule her c-section. Her baby was going to be huge, and she was already overdue, so....

It wasn't her doctor that said it. It was the doctor on duty at the time. Kendra went into spontaneous labour the next day and had her 10lb., 1oz. baby boy with no interference. She did make a complaint abou the doctor.
 

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Yes, the whole thing is disgusting.

Which is why I love having a due month. I am also very quick to tell people, when they ask about my due date, that I will only start wondering if the baby does not decide to come out by September 15. Most people laugh at that.

Put your phone on silent, and put on your outgoing message (if you have a machine) that "Thanks for calling. The baby has not decided to join this world yet. If you leave your name and number, we will be sure to let you know ASAP when the baby chooses to arrive!"

I'm particularly disgusted by the "you should call us BEFORE your nap to give us the daily update." How about you just start calling them at like 3:30 a.m.???
How's that for your UPdate? Are you UP?? :LOL
Or during your update, you can start asking them personal questions, like, "Did you have a bowel movement today? Do you feel like you might have one? Do you think it will be well-formed and of normal color? Please call and let me know of your bowel function each and every day, before you nap please. Also, I am interested to know what you ate yesterday so that I can anticipate what your BM will be like today. I'm concerned about your gastrointestinal health, so it is rude not to give me the daily progress report"

Maybe that'll shut them up.

I'm not even gonna go there with the MDs...
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by chiro_kristin
I'm particularly disgusted by the "you should call us BEFORE your nap to give us the daily update." How about you just start calling them at like 3:30 a.m.???
How's that for your UPdate? Are you UP?? :LOL
:LOL
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by chiro_kristin
I'm particularly disgusted by the "you should call us BEFORE your nap to give us the daily update." How about you just start calling them at like 3:30 a.m.???
How's that for your UPdate? Are you UP?? :LOL
Or during your update, you can start asking them personal questions, like, "Did you have a bowel movement today? Do you feel like you might have one? Do you think it will be well-formed and of normal color? Please call and let me know of your bowel function each and every day, before you nap please. Also, I am interested to know what you ate yesterday so that I can anticipate what your BM will be like today. I'm concerned about your gastrointestinal health, so it is rude not to give me the daily progress report"

Maybe that'll shut them up.
:LOL
Thanks, I needed that laugh.

I've considered giving them the blow-by-blow of losing my mucus plug...not sure if that would convince them never to ask for updates ever again, or if they'd be ever-so-grateful for the information.

We've thought about the phone message thing. "Today is Saturday, June 11. No, Jess hasn't had "that baby" yet. Do not leave a message at the beep."
 

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I'm either 32 or 33 weeks, depending. I started out saying "beginning of August" as a due week, and many people accept that, but there are still quite a few people who go - "which day in August?" I get sick of explaining, that it doesn't matter which day - and some will accept that, and still others will say, "okay, but which date anyway", in which case it's easiest to just say anything.

Then later, I get a lot of "I remember you're due in the beginning of August, but which day?" After awhile, I wonder if they are just trying to calculate when we must have conceived.


So anyway, not giving a due date felt like more trouble than it's worth during the rest of the pregnancy.
 

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I am SO sad right now. For those of you that don't know, Debstmomy's baby died.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...02#post3277702

I trust the process. I really do. But how does this happen? I mean, we say that babies come when they are ready, and that dates can be off. And we try to avoid unnecessary induction which may result in further intervention. Is there a medical benefit to going past dates, other than the baby will come when he or she is ready? Should full term moms be induced at a specific post date? Is it really a high risk to go past dates? I read somewhere that when the lungs are ready, something happens that triggers oxytocin (maybe like a turkey popper telling you when the turkey is cooked?) and subsequently labor. If that is true, then can a leap be made that induction screws this entire process up? But do some babies never get that signal straight? What goes wrong?

I'm trying to make sense of it all. Forgive my ramblings.
 

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Kelly-- this is so sad... and of course we don't know the specific circumstances yet...

Basically, all the scientific research says that risks do not go up until 42 weeks. And even then, they don't go *way* up.

We don't know if inducing earlier would have saved the baby... Right now, we don't know why the baby was stillborn at all-- it may have had nothing to do with being postdates at all.

But the tough part about birth, I think, is that none of the choices is risk-free. Informed Mommas are in the business of *reducing* risks, not eliminating them.

It's tough when this happens with a non-medically-managed birth, because even though we know it's statistically safer-- and even when what happens would have happened no matter what-- when you have all the interventions, people will say "oh, you did everythng you could," and when you don't, they assume not having them was the cause of death. In fact, the opposite is more often true. But that doesn't change the fact that one carries a stigma that the other doesn't. Which is a big reason why women who consider HB sometimes decide against it. Sad, but true.

But
to debstmomy. Wishing you only comfort and peace in this difficult time.
 
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