[Softmama]

Hey Mamas<br>
I am looking for some perspective here. I am not sure if I am too overprotective. I do not allow my 5 yo to watch movies that may scare him. So far we have avoided pretty much everything <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> . He watches Little Enisteins, Go-Diego-Go and Blues clues with his little siblings. I get that that is most likely below his age level. But I had horrible nightmares for years growing up and figure there's no use putting violent/scary things in his head. They'll get there eventually, but for now, I'll keep them out. Maybe I'm delusional. I dunno.<br>
The issue is, he was just invited to a friends B-day party. He really likes this kid from school (I don't know the child, just briefly met the mom). This kid's birthday is going to be going to see the movie Spiderman Three.<br>
WHAT??????<br>
I am not letting him go. How do I phrase this? the mom is very excited about it and only inviting one or two other kids.<br>
I feel horrible. She is the mother of 6. Her oldest 4 are handicapped. She is hard to understand because she has some sort of speech problem. I am sure she feels like she does not "fit in".<br>
Our kids really seem to get along well and like each other. Can I just tell her the movie is too scary for my kid and offer to meet her beforehand at chic-fil-a so my ds can give his friend a gift?<br>
WWYD?

 

[pigpokey]

Spiderman 3?<br><br>
Five?<br><br>
It's PG-13. I would tell her your son would love to go but you will have to decline a movie that is PG-13 for violence. You could offer to go to other parts of the party but that is up to her.

 

[Thalia the Muse]

I agree that the Spiderman series are a bit much for a five year old, especially one without much prior exposure to screen violence or scariness.<br><br>
I don't think I'd say I disapprove of the movie -- why not just RSVP: We can't make it to the movie, but we'd love to join you at the restaurant so DS can say happy birthday and present his gift.

 

[Twocoolboys]

I would talk to her. Maybe since she is just inviting a couple of kids, she would be willing to change the movie?

 

[pigpokey]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Thalia the Muse</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7890192"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I don't think I'd say I disapprove of the movie -- why not just RSVP: We can't make it to the movie, but we'd love to join you at the restaurant so DS can say happy birthday and present his gift.</div>
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That is a perfectly OK option, but since it is such a small group I would tend toward saying why because it gives her the option of changing her mind to accommodate. I guess she could figure it out anyway, but if I had four special needs kids plus two young children I think I would want people to make things simple for me. I'm brain dead enough with two normal needs kids.

 

[LynnS6]

I would be very upfront - polite, but upfront. No way would our 5 year old see Spiderman of any ilk. Our son saw his first movie last summer (Cars) after several people I trust assured me it wasn't scary. Even so, he had a nightmare after it (there is one mildly scary scene).<br><br>
Our ds is VERY sensitive. He watches Go Diego Go!, Clifford, Blues Clues or videos (he's currently watching "There Goes a Garbage Truck").<br><br>
I like the idea of meeting them before/after, but the mom needs to know that PG-13 movies are not something you're going to let your son do.

 

[caycat]

I too would have problems with Spiderman 3 for my 6 year old (heck, I had problems with Happy Feet because it was over sexualized <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">)<br><br>
If you can, try to speak to the mother about it. Be aware, however, that she may be trying to keep all her children entertained with one movie so changing it could be difficult. Meet the Robertsons could be a movie to suggest if you feel comfortable with giving alternatives. My 6 year old saw it and loved it (I thought is was pretty good as well) It is available in 3-D in some places which is pretty supposed to be pretty cool so even jaded kids might enjoy that.<br><br>
Now that I am writing this, I am wondering how your son feels about going/not going to the party. Is he really excited? Would he feel bad if the movie wasn't changed and he knew he couldn't go because of it? Would he feel as if it were his fault in some way? If that is the case, I might be inclined to create an important and fun family event that conflicts with the party. This way you could decline gracefully and your son wouldn't feel bad about not going to the party.<br><br>
No matter what, try not to feel pressure to send your child to something you think is inappropriate. Both your son and the birthday boy will get over him not attending the party if that is what happens.

 

[Sali]

I was on the other side of this: I was planning a small party for ds (7th) birthday and planned to have it at the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie--same thing, just a couple of kids. My cousin didn't think it was appropriate for her ds (same age) and told me so. I am pretty careful about media--it's Magic School Bus or nothing around here--but I love TMNT from when I was a kid, so I thought why not. ANyway, when I realized that it may be an issue, it was an easy fix. I appreciated the heads up and took no offense.

 

[Tanibani]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>caycat</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7892127"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">No matter what, try not to feel pressure to send your child to something you think is inappropriate. Both your son and the birthday boy will get over him not attending the party if that is what happens.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nod.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nod"> I agree with that.<br><br>
My son is 7 and I don't want him seeing the SM movies. Come on! I also think the Pirates of the Carribean are "too much." Unfortunately, he saw some of it on a plane (half of the movie) and I was there explaining it. He was fine.<br><br>
But I have not shielded him from "scary" movies. He has always liked them. Some children are very sensitive and afraid and others are not. He was always attracted to it. I figured it was a safe way for him to see something scarey in a safe setting (home with us) and me holding his hand explaining it's all pretend. It has worked out well for us. I think it's important to follow the child's lead (sometimes).<br><br>
DS has * never * had nightmares over the movies. Again, it was Disney type stuff and with us and he wanted to see them.<br><br>
I wonder what you saw and how old you were and if anyone helped you through it.<br><br>
He's seen (and loves) the Wizard of Oz (scary Wicked Witch of the West) and recently discovered the Nick series Avatar. He loves to watch the fighting and was asking for fighting shows. It's an * exceptional * series. Beautifully drawn and great story lines we can discuss. We watch the DVDs (no commercials.) I won't allow Power Rangers because it's mindless junk and I don't like the super fast moving images (researcher and author Jane Healy aruges that they change brain development of young minds.)<br><br>
He loves Star Wars. All of them. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: (Including the last, violent one. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/banghead.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="banghead"> ) I was hoping to wait till he was 8 or 9 so he could really enjoy the story, but DH said I was being "Amish."<br><br>
But he also loves Max & Ruby and similar Noggin shows. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><br><br>
I feel sorry for your friend because she feels like an outsider.<br><br>
But I would be honest and kind with her. Just tell her the truth. You are not odd.

 

[chel]

We often have small parties. So small I pre-approve the date before the invitations go out!<br><br>
I would tell the mom you don't approve of the movie and see if there's another one to watch.