Overreacting about a toy nerf 'gun'?

IMO? Let it go. There are bigger fights to be fought. I have watched little boys bite pb&j sandwiches into the shape of guns If they want to play guns, they will.

With my dd I quickly gave up on the no-disney-princess idea... caring, loving friends and family got her stuff, and she loved it.

I always had NO dolls/toys with bottles or pacifiers. She found a bar of SOAP and used it as a baby bottle

This is a little thing. Watch your boy and enjoy his enthusiasm. Don't get bogged down in something that doesn't matter in the big picture.

-Angela

It must be really hard an upsetting seeing you baby holding something that goes against you philosophy. We try so hard to make the world beautiful and nuturing for our children, and the crap of the outside world keep pushing in. Sometimes it seems like relatives want to shatter you goals just to spite you.

I would let him keep it, but only play with it while supervised.

I think your instinct that the more you fight this the more he will obsess is correct. If he wants to play guns he's going to find a way. At least this one is about shooting a target, not anything living. I read an article (I think it was in Mothering ) about a year ago about how gun play is both somewhat inevitable and pretty harmless.

It is a toy that should have supervision though. Getting shot with one of those darts in the eye could do damage. I'm also guessing you don't want him shooting things around the house, such as a vase you inherited from your grandmother. It should never be pointed at anything living.

Actually, I'd probably get him the squirt gun to have when ever, since it would be less hazzardous than the nerf one. Then only take out the nerf one when your able to pay close attention. (I wouldn't use this as an excuse to get rid of it though, since I'd lik DS to learn about being careful.)

With any luck, it will be what my mom always called a "9 day wonder," basically a toy with a somewhat short lived appeal. DH bought DS a horrible plastic blinky car dashboard, DS lost intrest in it in under a week.

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I agree. And I say this because this toy will likely be forgotten about in a few days or weeks. At that time it can magically disappear. If it wasn't completely expensive then I doubt your mom will even remember it herself a few weeks from now. I've made so many unwanted toys in our house disappear over the years.

Ya'know - you have to make up your own rules and be consistent - but it is good to honor the feelings and impulses of your child. You don't need to give in, but your kid is not going down a bad road by doing gun play.

My kids have beaten me down on a lot of gun play (we don't own any, but give them a stick and watch them go). It is everywhere, so my strategy now is to set rules that I feel are appropriate and stick with those. Yours may be different, and that is fine.

For us, it now is: no pretend shooting humans or animals, no threatening (unless part of the older kids game play - "I'm gonna get you" said in dramatic form, not anger, is fine if all agree), and always check to see if anyone around you, playing or not, is uncomfortable.

We also practice a lot changing the game to make everyone (usually me) more comfortable. Yesterday they started playing and I told them to change it up. The guns became machines to shoot out pins to pop the cloud, which could bring rain to the animals in a drought. I never know what they will come up with.

I'd get down with your DS and play darts - saying that each one is a countdown to space, or saving turtles, or whatever you make it.

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You have a right to remove things that upset you. My thought, however, is that the human hand came before the gun.

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I am with the OP's first instincts. I actually am considering starting a campaign to get toy guns banned from our town parks.

It is unhealthy and scary for young children to pretend to shoot or kill others, as I heard a group of children doing with these Nerf guns yesterday. They are not real AK-47's but they look just like AK47's! I think this reinforces the killing is no big deal theme that is way too dominant in mainstream American culture, and they do it subconsciously on small children's psyches.

I'd go with a simply stated rule to Grandma and child (i.e. We don't play with guns at our house. In our family we believe in peace.) This is a slippery slope. I see violent handheld video games at 7, violent DVD's at 9 etc. if you don't draw a line.

For the most part I have to say I don't like nerf guns... The whole "nerf" idea is so you can shoot at people without hurting them. That is not something I think children need to learn, that when you point and pull the trigger nobody gets hurt. :

I'd be upset over things, but given the nature of that specific toy I would probably simply make a rule that it only gets pointed at the target and not at people or it will disappear.

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That is a very good point. I will give this some thought as I am constantly revisiting the whole nerf toy issue in my mind and in my household.

OP, tough situation. I would feel the same as you. Not over this particular toy perhaps, but I can think of toys with which I'd feel equally uncomfortable. Some of the literature on this topic suggests that we would do better to embrace this kind of play with our children. How would you feel about doing that?

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That's what we have settled with for now. DS knows that it is not to be pointed or shot at people or animals, and if it does, it will no longer be in our house.

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Absolutely. My little girl did the same thing. I don't even know where she picked up the concept of shooting things, but somehow she did. She always likes to play those kind of "capture/shoot" games. I took the opportunity to make sure that she knows there's a difference between fun make believe and actually hurting someone. Her latest is to take a straw and call it her "fire stick" and throw "fire". I think it makes her feel like some sort of superhero or something.

I agree with "make it disappear" after the thrill wears off as well. In my experience, these sorts of toys don't really have a lot of appeal after a very short time. In our case, the fire stick straw has outlasted any of these store bought things.

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So you think foam dart guns that are brightly colored yet have triggers are "gateway drugs" that will lead to Ak-47 toting teenagers? I don't see that.