Mothering Forum banner

1 - 8 of 8 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
398 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am having my 5th child in march and good grief what a mess this child is coming into. We are barely home. DD11 is involved with children's theature, writing clubs, school clubs and more. DD7 is doing theature, choir, and lots of friends houses. DS6 is in soccer, basketball (wants to not yet) and all kinds of birthday parties(how can there only be 20 kids in a class and yet there is a party ever weekend???) DH works full time, flys about 3 times a week with the ANG, and is a full time student taking mainly night classes.<br><br>
THis family is BUSY! How am I going to fit taking care of a newborn into it? I usually plan to keep little one at home for 6 weeks solid just some family bonding time so that no one else is around to suggest things and the first 6 weeks of breast feeding are always the hardest. I am just worried that this litttle one is not going to get as much snuggle and time and be able to be on his own schedule with a family life as hetic as ours. BUT should I make the other kids tone done their lives just cause mommy and daddy are having a baby? BTDT advice is appreciated. Actually any advice is appreciated.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,211 Posts
I think a family meeting is in order. It's not just you and DH having the baby. The family as a unit is adding another member.<br><br>
I would look into the kids carpooling with other parents (that you know!) to their extracurricular activities for a bit. And it may be that the kids can't be in the spring theater production this year - will they be upset? Sure. Will it kill them? Nope. They'll be okay, mama. It would be far worse for you to be stressed out about schedules the first few months with a new baby.<br><br>
Jenn
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
329 Posts
I home school my two oldest dd's & we NEVER stop!! I mean everyday there is an activity or something new that they want to do. Luckily I started school back three days after I found out I was pg so we "should" be done when the baby comes. My dd11 will be ending cheer at the same time & we've already started working on their science fair projects due for March. I've already started asking friends in our co-op to let my kids catch a ride for field trips & have promised an end of year swim party at my house in return. I've also already booked my 2yo dd's birthday party at one of those "all you do is show up" places (her bday is in April) I let my dd's know that as soon as this baby is born to think of this house going from "full power" to "running on generators". If you didn't get it done before the baby was born don't assume it will happen after. I'm freezing meals, organizing like crazy, & trying to teach my two oldest how to "maintain" the house. God knows what would happen if my dh was in charge of things! I am seriously trying to think of this house as if I am going to have to be out of the country for 2 months.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,200 Posts
I agree, have a family meeting. Tell the kids that you want them to pick 2 (or other # you and dp decide on before) activities to be involved with in the spring. Other than that, get the help you need for the first weeks, invest in a great baby sling if you don't have one. Your family won't function well if you and your newborn are not getting the rest/care you need. Taking a break for awhile won't hurt anyone and will probably encourage your family to bond. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br>
Good luck!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,201 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I home school my two oldest dd's & we NEVER stop!! I mean everyday there is an activity or something new that they want to do</td>
</tr></table></div>
<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">: Except my kids are younger, (will-be) 6 and 3. However, we are always busy. Typically, we have something scheduled at least 6 days out of 7.<br><br>
However, I am just planning to take the baby along for the ride. I am not one to hole up at home with a new baby (well, not for longer than a week or so). I figure there might be about 2 weeks where we just take things slow and cancel/miss some activities right when he is born, however I can't see staying home longer than that. *I* don't like staying home. *I* like being busy.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
862 Posts
First, I've got to say that if you're managing happily with 4 kids and such a busy dh, you're a wiser and more talented woman than I am. (I'm overwhelmed often with 1 dc and a crazy job.) So I'm SURE you'll figure this out! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Not sure if the worry is about managing everyone's busy schedules in the first few weeks / months after the babe arrives or is a more general concern about keeping life sane when there are so many activities going on. If it is the second, you might check out the book Putting Family First: Successful Strategies for Reclaiming Family Life in a Hurry-Up World by William Doherty & Barbara Carlson. I haven't read it but have heard one of the authors talk and share some of the examples of families that have decided to slow things down in order to focus on simpler times TOGETHER even if that means the kids give up some of the fun activities they're currently doing.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,059 Posts
My kids do dance during the school year, and a couple of after-school clubs (for the older ones). April is the beginning of softball season, and then in May there's summer theater auditions and rehearsals. It does get kind of crazy around here, since my DH goes to work at 3 in the afternoon.<br>
Car-pooling is so important. And call in all the favors you can for the month or two after baby is born. But beyond that, I am pretty sure with our 5th, she just went everywhere, every time a sibling had to go somewhere. I was always nursing her in 5 minute increments and then saying, "whoops, gotta go, more nursing in 15 minutes!". Guess who is the happiest, bounciest, most enthusiatic little two year old ever? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br>
Your older kids can be a little flexible if you need them to cut down on activities for a month or two, your baby will learn to be flexible, and will probably turn out to really enjoy the bustle of a busy, large family.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
398 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I am thinking it is all going to be okay. We just moved and so we know no one in this area, so car pool is out of the question..but DH just found out that we will be going to Gulfport this summer ALL SUMMER so no activities for anyone anyway. Which totally rocks cause its a summer at the beach. Thanks for the support.
 
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
Top