Mothering Forum banner
1 - 8 of 8 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
425 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I guess I just need to vent or something, not the usual vent about the DH or in-laws - it's about me. .

I know I'm not the first pregnant woman to feel this way, but other than a very understanding husband, I don't have anyone to talk to about it. I know I'm just being hormonal but it's driving me crazy.

I have been so emotional lately; crying, screaming and scared. Just last night I spent about an hour yelling at my DH
: , I don't even remember what got me started. I do know that I am feeling very overwhelmed and as hard as I try I can't get as much done around the house as I used too. Laundry needs to be folded, the house is cluttered. I've been following FlyLady for over a year now, and it was working great until I got pregnant. Before the house was tidy, laundry was always done, dinners were planned well in advance and very healthy, and I was losing weight and had even carved out time to exercise everyday.

Now I feel like I can't keep up with any of the chores, the house is not tidy and the laundry is in a pile in the living room. I'm lucky dinner get cooked and on the table. I just feel like a failure and then I end up yelling at my DH about helping me more and then I get to thinking that I am going to be a very horrible mother.

This is my first pregnancy and will be my first baby, but I have babysat and nannied since I was 12 (that's over ½ my life) I love children. I would love a career in childcare so I don't understand why I get the feeling as if I'm going to be the worst mother in the world. So then, I just feel horrible about everything, being pregnant, being a bad wife, being a horrible mother when the time comes.

I should be happy, this is a very joyous time, but some days I just don't feel it.

Sorry that it's so long, I guess I just needed to purge. Thank you for listening.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
372 Posts
I am sorry mama
I totally understand what you are going through...I always think I am a bad mom and wife...I am always yelling at Dh and my 2 Dds I always feel bad afterwards...I have gone to the extremes of NEEDING to get out of the house because Dh also has RAGING hormones so I actually ran off with my kids walking down the street...I feel terrible about it now but it seemed like the right thing to do at the time...I am sorry you are having such a rought ime...This pregnancy has been way more rough on me than my other 2...I am only 23 so that doesn't make me feel like I am any better of a mommy and wife...Please don't let it drag you down it makes things worse...I have slacked on my house work as well and dinner so I am right along with you so know that you are not alone...If you ever need someone to talk to or vent to then pm me I am here...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,216 Posts
It's hard! You are growing a baby, your body is going through enormous changes. Be kind to yourself: rest when you need to, drink lots of fluids, eat as well as you can, try not to dwell on the negative thoughts. You will be a wonderful mother, just keep telling yourself that. Try to make sure you take time to do things that make you feel good. Check out the nutrition forum for some really helpful information. There are lots of well-informed mamas over there who have been through emotional issues.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,567 Posts
Being pregnant is hard work! Much harder than laundry and cooking, IMO. Please don't be so hard on yourself. When I was pregnant with my first child, I was depressed for a few months -- I was very scared about being a good mother, especially since I did not feel like a good wife -- everything had gone slack. This time, I am much more aware that pregnancy is a season -- it will end, and I *will* be a good mother. Already I struggle with being a good mother to my DS. I am more forgiving of myself b/c I am really doing the best I can.

You are not unusual, at all. Hormones flying around -- how coulod anyone escape the pregnant lady tirade a time or a two or ten?


Be gentle with yourself, and post often. You are not alone.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
764 Posts
you sound like me before magnesium came into my life. talk to your mw/dr about taking a magnesium supplement. a huge factor in mood swings (esp. depressive, angry, or defeatist) moods can be a magnesium deficiency.

i take mag. supplements now and i'm so much nicer - to myself and everyone else.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,131 Posts
Hugs, mama.

Lots of people have experienced what you described...I was a nanny for many years, too, before becoming a mother, and went through the Frustrations of the housework and renegotiating responsibilities with my husband.

It was comforting for my friends to sit me down and tell me the following, maybe it will help you too. When you're pregnant, your body is not only growing a baby, it is preparing you for motherhood. Physically and emotionally. Once that baby is out, your life will change, and if you're taking care of your baby and attending to his/her needs, you will have to let things like housework slide for a while. Or you can not sleep and keep a perfect house and try and kill yourself (literally).

There is nothing wrong with not having an immaculate house. I once heard someone around here say "clean enough so you don't get sick but dirty enough to be comfortable and lived-in." That's my new mantra. It doesn't mean you're lazy or not a good wife or mother or housekeeper; it means that you have your priorities straight if you take care of people before dust.

Decide what is important to you as far as cleanliness or household order goes, see what you can reasonably do right now without getting overwhelmed and ask dh to pitch in more so you can stay sane. And be willing to renegotiate responsibilites on a frequent basis as needed.

I will also say that there are good days (weeks) and bad ones during pregnancy, and you will get surges of energy from time to time when you're able to do more. It sounds to me like right now you're needing more rest and trying to do too much. Forgive yourself for not being able to keep up with everything. Growing a baby is HARD work.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
425 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thank you to all the momma's who gave hugs, support and an understanding shoulder.

I am feeling much better, we had a great long, holiday weekend. Visited with Family, rested and worked around the house some. I washed some baby clothes and bedding that we've bought ourselves, it was nice to be able to do something for the baby

Most of the mess is still there - but I am working on it again 15 min at a time and realizing that it's really not the end of the world, at least we have clothes to wear and food to eat.

And all of your support made me feel so much better, thank you!
 
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top