[emmasayshi]

my friend doesn't listen!

I tried to tell her that my ds acted a lot like her ds does and she just makes excuses. Well I'm babysitting tonight for her and I know he is on the spectrum like my two. I don't want to upset her but he's young and there are a lot of things she could do for him so that he could get better. She just acts like I'm crazy or something but I have two babes with autism and I know what I'm talking about. It's like she doesn't mind that hes having problems only thaat nobody says anything about it. WHat kind of mother wants her babe to be ok so she can look good but doesn't give a damn if he's sick and needs help? I'm so mad at her. She acts like I'm s upposed to smile and say nice things and then not mention that her ds is just like mine.

 

[Irishmommy]

Moving this to Special Needs Parenting...

 

[PikkuMyy]

Many parents go through a stage of denial when either they or someone else first notices their child's symptoms. I'm sure this is what's happening here. No one wants to have a child on the spectrum and I'm sure that deep inside she sees what is happening but is hoping that it is something else, or that it will stop, etc.

I'm not sure what advice to offer since I don't have any special needs children of my own - just keep the denial in mind when you are talking to her. Don't push it, but don't just pretend everything is ok either. I'm sure she will reach a stage when she acknowledges that he needs help. You just have to hope that it is sooner rather than later. Make sure to provide all the support and info that she might need (I'm sure you would anyway.)

 

[lauren]

It is frustrating when you can see something going on and your friend can't. But I would worry about pushing too hard. I'm sure you know, being a mom brings out the fierce protectiveness in all of us. If you push too hard, she may try to 'prove you wrong,' depending on her personality. She just may not be able to hear it from you. I don't know what age this child is, but is the child in a preschool program or something? If so, you could gently suggest that your friend ask the teachers there what they think, or to get an independent evaluation.

 

[Mama Bee]

I agree that pushing too hard might to more harm than good. I used to get extremely defensive about DS having Down Syndrome. It took me a long time to be comfortable with who he is. Is there a book you might suggest she read? Maybe you could just gently suggest she read it or perhaps send her a link to a website or something. I would just be as gentle as possible with her even though it is sooo hard when you so clearly can see what's best for her and her child. *hugs*, Mama!

 

[Jane]

I read a short article about embracing "quirkiness" as opposed to "disability". Perhaps she would be ready for that step?
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...20945?v=glance