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My son's teeth are visibly moving because of his pacifier (he calls it a beebee). He has a very open bite now, and I don't want them damaged anymore than they are. He will be 3 on Halloween.<br><br>
We have been talking about the Beebee Fairy for the last two months. How on the full moon before his 3rd birthday (which I think is on the 17th this month), we will be putting his beebee out for the Beebee Fairy to take back to Beebeeland and she will bring him a present.<br><br>
He seems excited for it, noticing how the moon is getting bigger, etc -- but I don't know if he truly understands that his beebee is not coming back.<br><br>
Is this a cruel thing to do? I don't want to psychologically damage him or anything, but I am just over the whole beebee thing. :\ I am constantly telling him to get it out of his mouth when he speaks (that drives me CRAZY!). He doesn't use it all day in school (he goes to preschool already).<br><br>
Any suggestions are welcome. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Dh is barely going along with the Santa thing at our house, but sometimes desperation calls for creative thinking. I am curious what others think. My son never went for the pacifier but was a baba hound (both pumped and formula milk bottles). I was starting to worry about his teeth, ear infections and tendency to wake up every two hours. His teeth are fine, his ear infections are gone, but it took another year before he slept through the night and he still wakes up at 12 pm and 2 am..... I called the toy store ahead of time and we took all his bottles in to donate to "needy" children, in exchange he brought home a stuffy and a balloon. He asked for a day or two if he really was never going to have a bottle again. He cried maybe once, but suprisingly it all went well. Best of luck!
 

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I have two friends that did this. With ds #1 it went smoothly and without a hitch. My friend's ds was very proud of the whole thing etc and the gift was pretty much a non issue. With my other friend she had no luck at all. Her dd cried until her soother came back<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> She actually put her gift back under her pillow for the fairy and refused to even look at it.<br><br>
I think these ideas all work well, as tools, when the child is ready and able to make the step - but not before...<br><br>
Give it a try though - and good luck!<br><br>
Fortunately?? my dd has only attached to a very cheaply made cloth doll that loses limbs with distressing regularity. People find it sweet that "Cutie Pie" goes everywhere with her and the only harm comes in that Cutie is filthy and in danger of disolving at any time...
 

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Oh my goodness, I just have to chime in here.... I know I am only a sample of one, but my mother did this to me when I turned 3 and I remember feeling angry, upset, betrayed and most of all, just longing for and needing the comfort of my pacifier. This was one of my earliest very unhappy memories <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> It was even worse when I begged her to get me another one at the store and she refused.<br><br>
I am a big proponent of letting children have their sucking needs met for as long as possible. If you are concerned about teeth, can you put limits on it, instead of having him face losing it altogether?<br><br>
Michelle in NY
 

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I don't like lying to kids. Like Michelle said, couldn't you limit it rather than eliminating it?<br><br>
After my son was maybe 2, he was only allowed it at night, and when he was 3-ish, we needed to buy new ones (they were growing mold inside- eeew) and we told him we oucld either spend $5 on pacifiers or he could spend $5 at the toy store. He picked the toy store and bought a bunch of junk jewelry. He fully understood the pacifiers were all gone, and while he did look for them at bedtime for a few weeks, he never cried or was really upset about them. All kids are different and this type of method may not work for yours, but I wanted to provide another idea....
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lurk.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lurk">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/notes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="notes">: My 2 year old is becoming progressively MORE attached to his "pappy" I've recently noticed that his top front teeth are beginning to shift a bit. We really try to only have pappy when it is time to go night-night but I swear he has them stashed all over the house like a little pacifier squirrel :LOL Just when I think I must surely have found them all...in he comes sucking one that I haven't seen in ages.<br><br>
I don't want to traumatize him by "going cold turkey" (and it *would* traumatize him) but I haven't been very successful in limiting it.<br><br>
They're just baby teeth. His sense of security and ability to self comfort and need to suck are more important than perfect baby teeth...right? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/confused.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Confused">:
 

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My almost 2yo is hooked on her binky, and I am very conflicted. On one hand, I also think it is shifting her front teeth and I am concerned about it but otoh, *I* sucked my thumb until 5 and I remember how calming and comforting it was.<br><br>
The one thing we do try very hard to do is limit it to bedtime and naptime. Most of the time the binky falls out of her mouth within 10 min of falling asleep and she doesn't use it again until shortly before she wakes up.<br><br>
I guess you could maybe try the fairy thing, and if it doesn't go smoothly the fairy could bring it back? :LOL
 

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My good friends did the Binky Fairy thing with their DS on his 2nd, 3rd & 4th birthdays! My DD still has her Binky (3.5yrs) we limit it to naps, bedtime & long car rides. Her teeth have shifted slightly but her dentist is not worried AT ALL about it. I sucked my fingers until almost 9yrs old <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/blush.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="blush"> and only had braces because my teeth were too big for my mouth <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> .<br>
Adia 4-3-2
 

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Is this a cruel thing to do? I don't want to psychologically damage him or anything, but I am just over the whole beebee thing. :\ I am constantly telling him to get it out of his mouth when he speaks (that drives me CRAZY!). He doesn't use it all day in school (he goes to preschool already).<br><br>
Any suggestions are welcome. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"></div>
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The "faires" took away my bottle on my 6th birthday. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/bag.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Bag">: I was a bit disappointed, but honestly I got over it in a few minutes. I certainly wasn't psychologically damaged by it. Other things maybe, but not the fairies taking my "bobby".
 

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If it works, it's probably okay. Although, my mom remembers when she was told that it was time to let go of her blanket. She did it, but it's still emotional for her because she felt that her parents took a special comfort from her.<br><br>
Hmmm, I'm much more concerned about mental health than dental health, so I guess I'd be very careful in doing it to make sure that he was coping well after it happened. My sister sucked her thumb until she was 12 with no tragedies involved. I, who never sucked a thumb or pacifier ended up with braces.
 

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On a related note, sort of, there's a movie out now called Thumbsucker, about a 17 year old who sucks his thumb. It was a pretty enjoyable little film.
 

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I eventually 'lost' my dd's paci. She was 5 (yes, this was recent!). She asked about it for 3 nights, and then hasn't looked back. She found one under my bed and asked if she could have it. We said no, and that was that. We did lots of preparation ahead of time, saying that by x date she should say bye to the soother.<br><br>
Dd really took a lot of enjoyment from her soother, starting when she was about 6 weeks old. With both my kids I had major oversupply and overactive letdown and nursing was not particularly enjoyable for either of us until my supply calmed down and my babies were able to drink lots at a time (about 4 months old). I saw Jack Newman and cried a lot. Subsequently, they both needed to suck more than what I could do at the breast when they were young. Honestly, our feeds took 5-7 minutes and involved lots of pulling off, sputtering and choking, and we fought a foremilk imbalance until 4 months of age. I could pump 10 oz in one sitting for months and months. I could have spray painted bridges with my forceful spray. Anyhow, both kids used soothers and even though I was pretty against it, they seemed to need the extra sucking. It was a mjor comfort tool later, too, even though they were both slung and we co-slept (still do!). The soother became a regular fixture -- I always felt guilty.<br><br>
We tried it earlier with her, but she was really upset, so we abandoned the project and 'found' it. Another time we made a plan with lots of time leading up to give her soothers to another baby -- she gave them willlingly, then a few hours later desperately wanted them back, poor kid.<br><br>
Our dentist is a paediatric dentist who really knows his stuff. He said my dd had some teeth moving from the paci, but as long as she gave it up by five there would be nothing long term. In the 3-4 months since she has given it up her teeth are all back where they should be. Technically she had what is called an overjet. (It is different from an overbite, which can't change and is not related to pacifiers but genetics. An overjet means that the roots of the teeth are in the right place, but the end of the teeth are flared out from the paci use. In an overbite the who upper jaw is moved forward.) So her overjet has totally corrected itself with just a few months of not using the soother. He said that the tooth effects of sucking a thumb can actually mould the palate and cause more problems than a pacifier. At three years of age he advised us that a paci really wasn't an issue at all, and to consider her psychological needs as more important than her temporary dental disturbances <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><br><br>
Anyhow, that's our story. She gave it up -- just a lot later than I expected.
 

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I tried to slowly ease my dd away from her binkie. It was horrible. Now my dd WAS the type to have 1 in her mouth & one in each hand. We literally had 40+ binkies in our house for fear of losing them. 24/7 they were with her. Well 2 weeks ago i said to her.... are you a baby or a big girl?? she said big girl so i replied well big girls don't use binkies. I said ;ets go find them all and through them away since you are such a big girl now. We did & it went fine since. She asked 1 time & i reminded her we threw them away since she was a big girl. I found taking it away cold turkey was much better for my dd then slowly trying to ease it away.<br><br>
Goodl uck no matter what you chose.
 

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I don't really like lying to kids just to make things easier on the parents. Your job is to be their parent, not their friend, and sometimes they will be mad at you. I don't really remember how i got my first son's pacifiers away from him, but he was probably close to 4. He's 14 now, and perfectly straight teeth. My almost 13 year old daughter, however, was never into pacifiers, but she has braces (and her teeth were TERRIBLE, she had one tooth growing in the back of all her other teeth on the bottom, really bad teeth.)<br><br>
So, yes, while pacifiers can cause teeth shifting, everything I've read has said if you get rid of them around 4, no permanent damage is done.<br><br>
I think coming up with something else, a choice she can make (do you want the new big girl sheets on your bed, or do you want to keep your pacifier, etc. something like that) would be overall a better solution than using a mythical fairy to do the hard work of parenting. If she's going to be mad at someone, I think its better she have an actual person to be mad at than some fairy that doesn't exist. Isn't that part of what AP is about? Treating kids like people. I know I wouldn't be very happy if my dh told me that he still loved me but the remarriage fairy was going to take him away to be with another woman.
 

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My SIL actually did a brilliant thing regarding the paci - her Ped recommended it. They snipped it with scissors right down the middle. The next time their DD went to suck it, it wasn't the same. They said "oh no! It's broken!" And their DD never sucked it again - and that child was VERY VERY attached to it. She was three.<br><br>
Good luck!
 

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I got rid of DD's paci shortly after her 2nd birthday.<br><br>
She bit holes in them, and I didn't want to buy her anymore. so I go "Look Puckey Broken, where do broken things go?" And she's like "GARBAGE!" and threw them in herself and hasnt' looked back. "Puckey broken, all gone in garbage!" was what she said.
 

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Let me tell you how it worked for me:<br><br>
With DC#1, he had a "ra-ra"(short a sound). Don't know where that word came from, but he called his MAM a ra-ra. I tried to take it away at 2+ yrs, and horrible. I couldn't do it and listen to him cry at night for his ra-ra. At 3 1/2, my sister found out she was pregnant, and her husband asked him for his ra-ra to give to their new baby. He gave it to him, and never asked for it again!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><br><br>
DC#3: At 3 yrs 2 months she only sucked "paci" when she slept. Didn't suck on it at all during the day like #1 did. I told her that one day the "paci monster" was going to come and cut them up. Don't know why I said that, but it was the only thing I could think of at the moment. One day she was playing, and I was in her room cleaning up, and I grabbed some scissors, and cut the nipples off to every single one of her paci's (except 1...I put it in my room, just in case it didn't go well at nap/bed time). I laid the paci back on her bed with her blankie, cut nipple side down. She went in for a nap, and picked it up, and was like WTH? I very calmly said "Looks like the paci monster came! Did you see him?" She was like no...laid down and never asked for it again. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><br><br>
DC#6: Attached to paci big time, at 20.5 months, and I don't think I will be getting rid of it anytime soon. At least for another year.<br><br>
Yes, all their teeth stick out some, but with DC #1 being 15 (he's already had braces) his mouth bite corrected within a year, and so did DC #3. She is only 8, but her bite corrected years ago. A wide gap didn't stay long for any of them. I can't tell with #6 yet because all her teeth aren't in yet.
 

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my dh and i went back and forth a lot on this issue. first, he wanted to get rid of it and i didnt' think ds was ready. then, i was totally ready for hiim to be done, and dh thought he wasn't.<br><br>
it went something like this...i would take it way, especially in the day time, and sometimes at night. those nights he would have a really hard time going to sleep. he was 3. after baby #2(ds now 4) he slowly gave it up himself. it was very gradual, and natural. he was just done. once in a great while, he'll put the baby's nuk in his mouth, and I'll look at him and smile like "what are you doing?" and he'll give it back to the baby (baby is 16mo.)<br><br>
we let it happen his way, natrually, becaues we figured he wouldn't be askin a girl out with a nuk in his mouth!<br><br>
good luck!
 

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I have no experience of this myself (DD decided last month at 5 months she wouldn't sleep with her paci) but my Mum restricted mine and my sisters paci's to bedtime...we would get up in the morning and put it in the fridge or under our pillow...the Christmases before out 3rd birthdays, we had to leave the paci for Santa as a present (I think Santa even left us a thank you note <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> )<br><br>
MIL said that with DH they had a big celebration on his 4th birthday and got rid of his bottle. They talked about it for a couple of months beforehand about how the bottle would be going and she said it worked really well...
 
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