[AFWife]

Please move this to wherever it needs to be...I had NO idea where was appropriate.

I was NEVER given a pacifier. My mother didn't want me to become dependent on it. Instead, we were given plain pillowcases with our names sewn on (Like Linus from Peanuts!) and we just carried those around.

I'm thinking I want to do something like that with my child. However, my in laws have already made claims like "If you don't use a pacifier they'll just suck their thumb." and other such statements.

What do you think? Do you use one? Why or why not?

 

[Pavlovs]

My son didn't get a pacifier nor did he suck his thumb. But if he did suck his thumb, what's the harm? It seems like a natural thing for babies to do.

I personally don't like pacifiers because they seem to me like a replacement for the breast. Sometimes nursing is about the comfort, not just the food. If I were bottle feeding, I don't know how I'd feel about pacifiers. *shrug*

 

[alison_in_oh]

Babies have varying needs to suck. Many babies (including my own) can have that need met at the breast. My son comfort-nursed a lot, but never really took a pacifier or his thumb. Not only was it kind of nice not to have to worry about breaking a dependency on either binky or thumb, it also promotes a healthy milk supply and delays the return of your menses if you let baby nurse on demand. Of course, it also avoids the potential problem of baby learning an incorrect suck from the paci and developing latching problems. But some babies with a really high need to suck are too demanding on their mamas, and the paci or thumb becomes indispensable. It's kind of a personal choice between the item you don't have to retrieve when it's dropped, and the item that you can separate from its owner if/when it becomes a dental problem.

I think the need to suck is separate from attachment to a lovey. I encouraged my son to choose a lovey when he transitioned to the crib full-time (sometime after a year, I forget exactly), and he now spreads his affections between 3-4 stuffed animals but he doesn't seek them out away from bed. Other kiddos find more comfort and security in their loveys, and prefer to drag the everywhere.

Bottom line: every kid is different, so just do what feels right to you and your child.

 

[jspring0308]

I gave my first a pacifier b/c I sucked my thumb til I 9 and I didn't want her or us (parents) to have to deal w/extended thumb sucking. My dd gave up the pacifier around 8 months completely on her own. I am giving my newborn the occasional pacifier as well. Not only do I not want to have to deal w/thumb sucking I also can't always nurse for the sucking comfort and I think that as long as a pacifier isn't used extensively it's an acceptable comfort tool.

 

[GooeyRN]

I have not used them and my kids are not thumb suckers... I think each kid is different. It is impossible to tell what will happen. A lot of people I know just use them for naps/night and in the car, and the kids give them up on their own somewhere around 2ish. I don't see them as the devil or anything, but make sure your baby is nursing well/effectively before giving one.

 

[nighten]

I think pacifiers can be wonderful soothing tools for some babies, and totally unnecessary for others.

I would wait to introduce a pacifier until after breastfeeding is well-established, but once that happens, if a pacifier is helpful to an infant, then why on earth not let him/her have one.

I would never dream of using a pacifier in lieu of physical, human comfort, but some babies simply have a greater need to suck for comfort than others. Our first child refused a pacifier, nor did she suck her thumb.

She had no lovey nor personal attachment object, honestly. *I* was her lovey, which was fine, but exhausting at times. It would have been helpful to me had she had something in addition to me.

But she didn't and that's life.

I will definitely try a paci with this new baby though, and if she takes it, great and if not, no big deal.

One thing about a pacifier versus a thumb -- you can physically remove a paci from the equation. Can't remove a thumb.

I think that the most important time for using anything like this though is before 6 months. I think once the child is old enough to talk, the time for constant pacifier use has passed, else it can interfere with speech development. However, I think for nighttime or nap use, it's fine to continue to allow a young toddler to have a paci. It varies from person to person, but I think in the end, having a comforted child is more important than appearances.

 

[Purple Sage]

I've had three babies so far that have neither had a pacifier nor sucked their thumbs. They have all been comfort nursers, though, and I've spent hours on end nursing and nursing and nursing. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I think in the first few weeks, at least, it's important to try to meet as much of the baby's sucking needs at the breast as possible - to establish a good milk supply and encourage proper sucking technique. After that, if it isn't practical to nurse as often as the baby wants (for comfort), then I don't see the harm in using a pacifier.

 

[Hallielynn01]

when I was pregnant with my DD I swore, I would not use a pacifier, if she had a suckling need, I wanted to meet it at the breast not "pacify" it with alternative source, well.... day 4 hit..... 1 am........ she woke crying, we nurse for a while, until she would not accept the breast, we did everything, we swaddled, we rocked, we bounced, DH took a shot at getting her to settle, I offered her the breast some more, we took walks, several car rides, nothing...... we had every baby book I owned out looking for new ideas, combine that with the hormonal let down that happens a few days PP and i was a wreck, I kept trying to offer her a breast, not wanting to giver her a paci so soon, and she would become furious, so I remembered that Beachnut had sent a paci in the mail, I thought at this point, lets try it. She took it instantly, and feel right asleep and was more than happy in no more than 2 hours to nurse again, but at that moment, it was all she wanted!

That said, I do feel, and I see if alot, that some parents try to get more time between feedings etc with the paci, but I do feel if used in conjunction with a healthy nursing baby, it can be a great tool. Other kids I know, myself included, would never take one.

 

[mamadelbosque]

My DS never had a paci - instead he sucks his middle two fingers. He doesn't do it all the time, or even that much really. Just occasionally. I don't see the need for a paci unless you have a VERY high needs babe who just wants to nurse absolutely 24/7... but as my son was not that bad, we lived without.

 

[MamaMonica]

Moved to Life with a Babe.

 

[Shelsi]

Both my kids have (had) a strong need need to suck. Personally, and I know this is not very "MDC" but I can not stand a baby at my breast 24/7. It drives me up the freaking wall. For my own sanity I need my kids to have a pacifier or something to suck on other than me. Of course I feed them when they are hungry and I don't mind holding them pretty much 24/7...I just hate comfort nursing excessively. When dd was born I'm 99% sure she would have gladly sucked on her fingers but I convinced her to use the paci instead just because I feel like it's easier to break the paci habit later on down the road (for example now that she's over a year the "rule" is that paci's are for nap times and bed times and she keeps it in her crib).

 

[lee1203]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shelsi Personally, and I know this is not very "MDC" but I can not stand a baby at my breast 24/7. It drives me up the freaking wall. For my own sanity I need my kids to have a pacifier or something to suck on other than me. Of course I feed them when they are hungry and I don't mind holding them pretty much 24/7...I just hate comfort nursing excessively.

Oh my gosh yes. Thank you for this. I introduced a pacifier earlier than I wanted 'cause nursing hurt so bad and yes, it was driving me up the wall when she'd just "nibble." Still does, it's like Chinese water torture even though it doesn't hurt any more. Mind, it's hit or miss if she'll take the pacifier - she prefers sucking on MY thumb.

 

[Hopefulmama]

My experience is that different babies have different needs. My first needed to suck a lot for comfort but never took a pacifier or her thumb. She only wanted me. Which is fine, but she would nurse and nurse, and as soon as I would move her she would puke everything she just ate, she would have to get changed, she'd be awake and crying, and we'd start all over. I wish she would have taken a pacifier. My second sucks his thumb and takes a pacifier and nurses for comfort. I don't see what the big deal is. If they need it, fine, if not, fine. If a pillowcase is comforting and they like it and suck on that, fine. I think a pacifier is easier to take places though. Just my 2 cents.

 

[LaLaLaLa]

Oh, we tried SO hard to get our kids to like pacifiers for comfort sucking. No go. DD sucked her first two fingers until she was a year and a half old and had surgery that required her arms to be bound away from her face. Four nights of no hands in her mouth stopped her finger-sucking forever, which we thought was very sad. We tried to get her to do it again when we set her arms free, but she didn't need it anymore, I guess.

DS is 2 1/2 and still very much a thumb-sucker. We like that when he starts to melt down he can generally settle himself instead of totally freaking out. We pick him up, he pops his thumb in his mouth, and things are almost immediately better.

 

[Ruthie's momma]

Some babies need to suck more than others. This need can be fulfilled with the breast, thumb, fingers or paci. If breastfeeding, it makes very good sense to allow baby to suckle the breast (helps to stimulate milk production). Of course, some babies need more than this. A thumb or paci can give mom a break, if necessary.

A thumb is always on hand, while a paci can get lost. Either way, I don't see the harm. The need to suck is instinctual...baby will get nourishment and comfort (!!!).

In time, children will outgrow this need...DD loved to comfort nurse...she would simply sleep with my nipple in her mouth. She was given a paci, while in the hospital

:. DD lost interest in the paci w/i 3 or 4 months...I was enough...

:

 

[EnchantedMamma]

All my siblings (3) had pacifiers. It lasted till early toddlerhood at the most, when they (mostly) quietly gave them up. No problems.

That said, I was a little worried that DS would become addicted. But to my surprise, I found myself desperate for a little quiet with a son who DID NOT want a pacifier! I was begging him to take it- wiggling it, trying to get him to latch. No dice.

Only a few times as he got older did he take it, and then only if he was very tired and tossing and turning on the verge of sleep. Now at 7 mos he'll take it, but only to chew or suck violently as he is teething.

So I say get one/a few just in case. If you find yourself 'needing' it, give it a try. If not- great!

 

[alegna]

No pacifiers and neither kid has been interested in their thumbs.

-Angela

 

[Girlprof]

I agree that it depends on the kid. DS wanted nothing to do with a pacifier. But there's a picture of me in the delivery room (!) with my finger in his mouth. He was a great nurser immediately so I've no idea how that happened, but other people's fingers (not his own!) were a favorite for a long time. DD likes her binky especially for sleeping and in the car but sometimes at other times.

My experience is that planning what they will like didn't work that well - they like what they like, LOL.

 

[Montse]

My baby won't take a pacifier except when we are out walking in her stroller and she starts to fuss, which is rare - she'll fall asleep before that happens. She won't take it in the house and rarely takes it in the car. In fact, we took a rode trip from San Jose to Phoenix and I WISH she would've taken it. We had to stop every two hours and nurse for an hour. It took us forever to get home. She nurses A LOT and I don't mind feeding on demand but sometimes it makes me a little nuts because I can't get anything done.

I don't mind it if she sucks her thumb at all. I did and so did my husband. I clearly remember the reason I did it - it helped me to relax and sleep. I quit when it didn't serve me anymore. I am not against pacifiers or thumb/finger sucking and I wouldn't make a big deal about it if my DD needs either.

 

[Dea]

My DD who is bottle fed uses a paci (we call it a suckie). She only uses it to go to sleep with her cuddles (from me) and when she falls asleep she spits it out. She doesn't use them much during the day unless she's really fussy, and that's 'cause she's tired. She didn't take it until she was about 6 months old. She initially showed interest in sucking her fingers but she stopped that. I tried dry nursing and she wasn't interested. So I also follow the idea that every child is different and I don't think that using a suckie is a bad thing.