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My grandson came to live with me 5 weeks ago. He is 17 months old and was raised so different than my own children and it has been a difficult transition, for both of us.<br><br>
Our newest hurdle is the pacifier. I would like to get rid of it. His mom used to keep one in his mouth all the time. I have gotten him used to only having it at night, naps and sometimes for car rides. But he is very reluctant to get rid of the thing. My kids nursed until they were two and co-slept, so I guess they didn't need the support and comfort of a pacifier, and as such I have never delt with this before. The only advice I have recieved was from his Peds Dr., who advises to "just take it away, he'll get over it". I am sure he would, but he has a horrible loud piercing scream that he can keep up for extended amounts of time. I really don't care to listen to that anymore than necessary, as well as tryting to do this in the least tramatic way possible for both of us.<br><br>
So...any ideas on how to achieve this?
 

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I wouldn't take it away from him! Poor kid is going through a lot, and the paci is comforting for him. I'd at least wait a while before taking it away.<br><br>
FWIW, my son is breastfed and we co-sleep, and he uses a pacifier. Now, at 3.5 years, I think it may be time to encourage him to let go of it, but a 17 month old who's just going through a huge transition? No way.
 

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Why does the pacifier upset you? He's just undergone a significant transition and the pacifier offers him comfort. Considering the changes he's experienced, IMO I wouldn't push it at this point. Sounds like he's going to experience even more changes so why take away something that soothes him? The argument that "he'll get over it" is the same argument people use re: spanking. Let him have his comfort item.<br><br>
If this helps you feel any better, my 19 mos. old dd still uses a binky. She sleeps with it so much faster than without it. I don't understand why a pacifier upset people. I've asked before on this forum and no one ever responds to this question.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
I guess it was not fair to leave out some crucial information. But I am not used to sharing so much personal stuff here, so I guess it feels a little strange.<br><br>
It is not so much that it bothers me to much other than an orthodics viewpoint. However Josh is deaf and his hearing aids are ready to be picked up on Monday. His audiologist recommended getting him off the pacifier before we start using his aids. As such I feel the aids are more important to his overall developement than the pacifier. He doesn't speak at all and only makes a few sounds. Mostly screams. The aids will open up a whole new world for him. At least we hope so. It should have an effect on the right ear at least.<br>
I am just hoping that because we are down to just naps and nights when his aids won't be in, that will be enough for now. At least until I figure out how to get him to give it up for good.
 

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My dd is 22 months and extremely attached to her binky. I loathe the thing, but I have come to terms with the fact that I'm just going to have to live with it. Especially in your situation, something that gives him comfort in an already difficult transition, it's probably not worth the distress. I know it doesn't mean much to you, but *our* pediatrician isn't overly concerned about her binky usage yet.<br><br>
ETA: I posted before the previous post was there. I see where you are coming from <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> and I think that the fact that you have it down to sleeping time helps a lot. I hope it's enough for his sake.
 

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I think having the paci for the usage he is limited to is fine. The concern with paci and aides is that when sucking on a paci the eustachian tube is occluded, thereby not allowing the hearing aide to be at 100% effectivesness. Since he will likely not wear it at night/naps, the paci isn't really going to effect baby. Have you checked out the special needs parenting board? If you search 'deaf' there are several thread come up, including <a href="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=652153&highlight=deaf" target="_blank">http://www.mothering.com/discussions...highlight=deaf</a><br><br>
I read this thread and immediately though of deaf clubs and using ASL for communication. This would enable language which is crucial to communication and will NOT inhibit learning to speak, rather it will enhance it. Most docs are slow tooencourage signing, but it is really a great idea for all of you to learn it together.<br><br>
You could look into something close to home for you (close defined as 'in state') <span><span style="font-size:medium;"><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><a href="http://clerccenter.gallaudet.edu/TPD/training-schedule.html" target="_blank">http://clerccenter.gallaudet.edu/TPD/training-schedule.html</a><br>
(excerpt below)<br><br>
6/2/2007<br><br>
Montana School for the Deaf<br>
Family Learning Vacation weekend<br>
Great Falls, MT<br><br>
Lisa Jacobs</span></span></span><br><br>
Good luck!
 

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Limiting to sleeping time sounds like a good approach.<br><br>
I keep meaning to do that myself, but it turns into tired time, and waking up time...my boy's very attached to the thing. I did "lose" his pacifiers for a month or so last summer, and he didn't fuss about it, but he did instantly lose interest in using the toilet. A friend encouraged me to give them back to him, and I did...he seemed incredibly relieved, and went back to using the toilet. Now he guards his pacis very carefully.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>zeldabee</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7911534"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I wouldn't take it away from him! Poor kid is going through a lot, and the paci is comforting for him. I'd at least wait a while before taking it away.<br><br>
FWIW, my son is breastfed and we co-sleep, and he uses a pacifier. Now, at 3.5 years, I think it may be time to encourage him to let go of it, but a 17 month old who's just going through a huge transition? No way.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I agree with this, also I see the op's point in a later post, re: hearing aids.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Max'sMama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7911804"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I think having the paci for the usage he is limited to is fine. The concern with paci and aides is that when sucking on a paci the eustachian tube is occluded, thereby not allowing the hearing aide to be at 100% effectivesness. Since he will likely not wear it at night/naps, the paci isn't really going to effect baby. Have you checked out the special needs parenting board? If you search 'deaf' there are several thread come up, including <a href="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=652153&highlight=deaf" target="_blank">http://www.mothering.com/discussions...highlight=deaf</a><br><br>
I read this thread and immediately though of deaf clubs and using ASL for communication. This would enable language which is crucial to communication and will NOT inhibit learning to speak, rather it will enhance it. Most docs are slow tooencourage signing, but it is really a great idea for all of you to learn it together.<br><br>
You could look into something close to home for you (close defined as 'in state') <span><span style="font-size:medium;"><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><a href="http://clerccenter.gallaudet.edu/TPD/training-schedule.html" target="_blank">http://clerccenter.gallaudet.edu/TPD/training-schedule.html</a><br>
(excerpt below)<br><br>
6/2/2007<br><br>
Montana School for the Deaf<br>
Family Learning Vacation weekend<br>
Great Falls, MT<br><br>
Lisa Jacobs</span></span></span><br><br>
Good luck!</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<br>
I think signing is awesome. i did some with Rachel, altho she hears fine. I have a friend who's toddler is in speech therapy. She hears fine also, but signing has been awesome for her as well.
 

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We are learning to sign together. It has been great to see him understand that we are communicating. He knows bird, more, kiss, eat, milk, bath and tiger(his favorite). We are in contact with our local rep for the Montana School for the Deaf and Blind. We also have a future daughter in law with a brand new degree in Speech. She would like to work with us a couple times a week.<br><br><br>
Thank you, Max'sMama,for explaining why the Audiologist recommended giving it up. She never really said and this has all been an overwhelming and I forget to ask at times. I think I will go hang out at the special needs board tomarrow.
 

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Not a problem. My degree is in Speech and Hearing and IF I ever return to work it will be as a Speech Pathologist, but that is a HUGE if! I also have a friend that is about to start her practicum in Audiology and her father is an audiologist, so the hearing and aides and such is right up my alley!
 
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