[Hibou]

I have been reading so many really great books this pg, and have a whole new perspective to consider on the idea of "pain" in labor. I'm just wondering what everyone else thinks. I am currently reading Ina May's guide to childbirth. I read Grantly Dick-Read's Childbirth Without Fear, and have been practicing hypnobirthing (read the book, listen to the tapes). All of these books say to some degree that not all women experience pain in childbirth, and Dick-Read and the hypno program even go as far to say that in a normal healthy pregnancy, pain need not be experienced at all- it's a mind-over-matter thing. In Ina May's book, she says that some women experience pain, although the degree to which they experience pain can be controlled to a great extent by making the birthing mother feel comfortable and secure, and by using different techniques to help her relax. Relaxing seems to be the common thread to reducing/eliminating pain in all of these books.

I would like to know what other mamas on this board think of the pain and labor issue. Is pain normal/inevitable? Or is it all in the mind? Does it just depend on the person? What have your experiences been?

With my first baby, an unmedicated birth, I did experience pain, but not completely unbearable (just nearly!!)...so I am really curios to see what the outcome of this labor will be now that I have been practicing relaxation. I wonder if it will be different???

 

[TranscendentalMom]

For me labor pain felt very, very real. However, the degree to which I could manage it was definitely affected by how relaxed I was. As long as I maintained eye contact with my doula, I could sort of "transcend" the pain and actually found a place that felt kind of blissful....but if I so much as blinked or lost my focal point...the physical sensation of the pain would become overwhelming.

To say that labor pain is "all in the mind" sounds kind of demeaning to what women go through. I think labor pain is pretty serious stuff....but if you can stay relaxed it is 1000 X better. Though you do hear of rare cases of people who had no pain. I really liked the book Birthing From Within - one of the things I liked about its approach is it didn't get you to try to visualize or avoid the pain but rather go into it and accept it.

 

[Jennifer H]

I think in some ways the idea that there need not be pain in childbirth is semantics. I had too completely unmedicated childbirths, but I was educated and not afraid of the pain because I knew it had a purpose and unlike most of the pain we experience in life this pain was not a symptom of an underlying problem. But, it was definitely pain. In fact, luckily for me, it was the worst pain I've ever experienced (I say "lucky" because it means that I've never had a horrible disease or accident that has caused me the kind of physical trauma that I would imagine would be worse pain).

I think that if people really WORK at the mind over matter thing it can be very helpful, but I think that for the general population, hearing "in a normal healthy pregnancy, pain need not be experienced at all- it's a mind-over-matter thing." can be a real disservice because then they don't prepare and when they do have pain they feel out of control and that they are not part of the "normal and healthy" population and therefore need multiple interventions to get through this abnormal pain.

It also does a disservice to those of us who have done in without medication because people believe it is all "luck" and that we must not feel pain as significantly as they do (my dh actually agreed with someone who said this to us one time - "Yeah, Jennifer is really lucky, labor isn't that painful for her."). Bull Pucky! It was just as painful, but I managed it through a lot of education and hard work.

 

[watermamma]

I think (and this is my personal opinion) that "most" women will and do experience pain in labor/birth. There are some that experience it to the extreme and some just in the middle.

And others, like my MIL, that didn't really feel anything but "a little tummy upset" before baby started to decend.

But relaxation and how you work with and thru your contractions can make such a huge difference. My first, I tried Bradley and thought I was failing when I couldn't lay on my side and be quiet thru a contraction. I was moving and moaning my way through. Didn't matter, ended up on my back w/epidural anyway.

2nd birth, out of hospital, read Birthing from Within while pregnant and that book made alot of sense to me. I made it through, and did what my body told me to do, and yes, it hurt and yes, I wished for a c-section near the end (in my head!), but I made it and just when I couldn't go any longer, baby was coming!

But it's hard to describe the pain when you're not in it at the moment, and I don't really think about it much, but I was almost "shell shocked" after her birth, from the intensity and yes, the pain, of it.

 

[anothermama]

Honestly, I think that business about there being no pain in labor is a load of hooey.

I went into my second labor having read the Ina May book and I think that, after going through it once and reading up even more, that I felt more in CONTROL of the pain and it didn't feel so reckless and useless, but it was still the most painful thing I've done.

 

[fourgrtkidos]

My best birth was like a good hard aerobics class and nothing more.

I find it was how I percieved it, that was key.

Also, sounds stupid. But I would say to myself. "Oh good, pain. That means my cervix is opening. And my uterus is shortening and pushing my baby down. Good. Allright, come on contraction, WORK!" Then, because I was embracing it- Imagining the progress it was making. It didn't hurt so bad. If I said "oh, no no no don't come. I can't handle another one." It would hurt more. I was fighting it.

Don't know if this made sense. Just remember. Pain and intensity is subjective.... to your perception. No one else can judge your pain.

You are strong MAMMA!!! You can do this.

 

[indiegirl]

Hm. Birth was painful for me but I didn't find that the hardest part to deal with. With Violet, I had such a long labor that my exhaustion made the labor unbearable. With Zoe, I didn't find the contractions to be too painful, per say, but not being able to control contractions makes me really

I have the hardest time letting go--

Not fearing the pain is so important. I found labor to be so intense that I got scared at times. I couldn't take a break and man oh man that pissed me off!

Jesse

 

[Worldshakerz]

I was scared in the first few hours of labor, and pain coupled with fear isn't fun. I was expecting the textbook progression of labor from contractions starting out 20 minutes apart, slowly progressing in intensity, etc. But my water broke and two hours later I was having horrible back labor and very strong contractions. I feel the birth classes I took at the birthing center maybe wasn't enough to prepare me. I wish someone would have really told me how bad it could hurt without any sugar coating. Saying labor contractions are like a painful period only begins to describe it! Then again, I had very painful periods sometimes that would make me cry...so maybe my pain tolerance is low, I don't know. I wanted to transfer from the birthing center to the hospital to get an epidural. I am so glad I calmed down...when my mother got there it really help to ground me and I think her just being there helped me relax. I'm currenty pregnant with #2 and plan on doing lots of reading on different relaxation techniques. I do know that with the birth of ds I did finally get to a point of "being at one" with the pain, so to speak. Most of the time I had my eyes closed and was in "labor land" just getting through the moment. I was talking to myself in my head a lot saying things like "Woman have been giving birth for ages, this is natural, if they can do it I can, other woman are giving birth all over the world....". I was kind of mentally encouraging myself. It was the hardest thing I've ever done!
So I'm sure any relaxation techniques that you start practicing now will help you.

 

[mama2annabelle]

I had a "painless" labor up to a certain point. And it had nothing to do with 'mind over matter', I was just plain lucky. I had no idea I was in labor...I just went in for my regularly schedueled midwife appointment and she checked my cervix since I was only a few days away from my due date. I was 7 cm dialated!!! I had no idea, I hadn't felt a thing!
Now once my water broke it was a totally different story. I had VERY intense pain. It was strong and fast. Thankfully I had wonderful women there to support me and my husband there to help me relax. I was able to get into a totally relaxed state, so much so that my mom and sisters thought I had gone to sleep! Now I know for a fact that if I wasn't able to reach that state of relaxation the pain would have seemed unbearable because how fast and hard it hit me. If I had not been educated about childbirth and if I had not practiced relaxion before-hand I don't know how I would have made it through. But by letting my body relax completely I was able to percieve the pain as tolerable and not be overwhelmed by it.
I totally agree with what a previous poster said...If you fight the pain it makes it so much worse, but if you just go with it and relax your body (don't tense a sincle muscle) you can perceive it as not so bad.

 

[cosmos]

I was induced with both my babies but had completely different experiences. The first one was over-medicated andd I did not progress. That made the pain MUCH worse, in fact unbearable. A totally helpless feeling.

The second time I actually forcibly refused more induction meds and was able to progress. I found the best way for me to labor was completely in my own world with no stimuli from outside myself (not even hearing anothe rperson breathe). I visualized my cervix dilating the whole time and found it all to be bearable. Transition was the only time I thought I was going to lose it.

I have heard of those women who get a crampy stomach ache and don't even feel labor until delivery is emminant. What's up with that? Do these women have extra hormones doing all the work?

I think some people are physically more "tight" than others, and it isn't necessarily something that can be resolved simply by using one's mind. Some of us have further to go, KWIM? .

 

[Peony]

I experienced pain in labor, I think the majority of women do, but it is how you perceive the pain the is key. I considered it good, purposeful pain, I told myself my body was made to birth, and it was something I could handle and I did. I also read countless books and studied the Birthing From Within and Bradley's relaxation methods, but when it came time I didn't use a certain technique.

 

[starrynight]

I thought giving birth was very intense and definitely painful, but I never thought it was unbearable pain or anything. The most painful part was when he was crowning (ouch - that hurt...) but luckily that's over quickly and by that point you know you're going to have your baby in your arms very soon.

I felt very centered during labor and had no fear. I would definitely say I was relaxed. I really tried to surround myself with nothing but positive energy, which I think makes a difference. Labor is just such hard work that there's no room for negative thoughts. Afterward, I kept thinking it was like climbing Mt. Everest or something. The physical demands are so intense that you have to keep yourself focused. I know some people believe in distraction techniques, but for me I found the best thing was to concentrate on the pain and go with it - one contraction at a time. I just stayed in the moment.

I did it without meds in a freestanding birth center. That was good for me, but I will say that I certainly understand if someone wants drugs, especially if they are giving birth in a hospital where it might be difficult to stay focused with all the people running in and out of the room and the bright lights, etc. I mean I labored in a dark quiet room, with just my husband pushing against my back (I had back labor - ugh!) The midwives were very respectful and quiet throughout my labor.

Despite my positive attitude

I thought giving birth was the hardest thing I've ever done. I know some people have painless births, but I wasn't one of them. I suspect it's probably rare. Nobody I know had a painless birth. I agree with other posts in that perception is so important. Keeping a positive - I know I can do it, my body is made for this - type attitude. What's funny is I remember talking to someone who'd never given birth a couple days afterward and she asked me how I would rate labor pain on a scale of 1 to 10 and I said a "7"! (I told my girlfriend this and she was like I would have said one million!) I do remember thinking right afterward that I would never, ever, do that again, that my son was going to be an only child. Of course, here I am pregnant and due with #2 in just a few months!

 

[OakEmber]

Ok- I didn't have a painful labour (don't flame me :LOL) and for me I truly feel that it had a lot to do with my outlook, relaxation during (which came totally natural for me, I didn't practice before hand or take any classes besides the regular ole hospital prenatal class) and mindset....and the fact that I was very intune with my body during. However, I do have a high pain tolerance maybe it's that or maybe I am just plain lucky! I overheard things in my labour like "she's not in labour...oh yes she is, look at the print out" and "mark this one in your books, you'll never see this again". And just so you know it wasn't an easy labour per say....I pushed for 4 hrs and DD came out with her hand over her shoulder holding the cord (which there is a term for that I can't remember) and at that point there was a gasp in the room "and she didn't have any drugs" :LOL For me the most painful part was being stitched up...

I have had a completely pain free m/c too, although I was only 8 weeks along it doesn't seem "normal" not to experience pain with one.

I guess I'll have to let you know how labour goes in Oct!

Just wanted to stress the "for me" part of this, as I know from what I've read of other peoples experiences that what worked for me might not have worked for them! I am talking about my labour experience only, obviously I don't have "the answers" or I'd be a very rich woman

 

[Bearsmama]

This is an interesting topic for me as I approach labor #2. My first labor, although I THOUGHT I was prepared for the pain, was just out-of-body painful. I don't even have the words to describe the pain.

I'm not sure if it's just inevitable. I said something recently to a chiropractor that I met about "labor being painful" and she literally looked at me like I was nuts.

My first labor was induced with Pitocin which is just an evil, evil drug. I remember I was able to keep on top of the contractions in the beginning
b/c I had a few seconds to recover from each. Then at a certain point it all became one giant contraction.

I've been meaning to post a similar thread. Something more about whether you all think it's possible to have an unmedicated birth without really trying! I'll think about posting that one... In the mean time, thank you for this thread.

 

[Lucysmama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bearsmama My first labor was induced with Pitocin which is just an evil, evil drug. I remember I was able to keep on top of the contractions in the beginning b/c I had a few seconds to recover from each. Then at a certain point it all became one giant contraction.

This is how my entire labor was with dd. It started off manageable, but quickly became a blur of one giant Pitocin contraction. (shudder) It was horrendous. I didn't even have time to catch my breath. It was non-stop eyesight-blurring pain.

I am really looking forward to experiencing natural contraction. I fully expect them to hurt, but there was something unnatural about pit contractions. I really want to go through healthy pain for a healthy outcome. If it ends up not really hurting, well then that will be a bonus surprise.

My MW says she really has to watch those mamas who have had pit before. She said many of them end up not calling her until JUST before the baby is born. They don't think they are in labor cause the contractions are not even in the same ballpark as the pit ones were. A lot end up unintentionally having UCs.

 

[MammaV]

I was induced with cytotec and pitocin with DD Roo. Everyone had told me that pitocin contractions were unbearable, etc. Well, I also had pre-eclampsia and so had to have constant monitoring. I did achieve an unmedicated birth and coped with the pain fine. I think that having my doula there was a huge plus as well as my mental state. I thought the pain was intense but was a different kind of pain. It wasn't like someone was beating me or I had broken a bone or something like that. It was pain of physically working really hard. I must say that the endorphins did a fabulous job for me. I remember after the contractions being swept over with the hormones. I felt weightless and as if I was levitating. It was surreal. I wanted another contraction so that I could experience the high afterward. Transition was difficult. I wasn't sure I could do it, but my doula said the right words at the right time and DH pushed with his elbows into by sacrum and I knew I was strong and that the pain was irrelevent. After the birth, I was flooded with wonderful hormones and felt high until the next day. I can hardly wait for that high again.

 

[cottonwood]

"I would like to know what other mamas on this board think of the pain and labor issue. Is pain normal/inevitable? Or is it all in the mind? Does it just depend on the person? What have your experiences been?"

I don't believe birth is inherently painful, anymore than I believe sex is inherently painful, or that menstruation is inherently painful, or that breastfeeding is inherently painful. The latter three are painful for many, many women, because of mindset (conditioned belief system), approach, ill health, deformity/disease, fear, stress, and lifestyle in general. Pain is normal in these situations in the sense that it is the body's normal response to a less than ideal environment (-- mentally and physiologically speaking; in other words, no, it's not all in the mind.) Many women experience pain during all kinds of events on the sexual spectrum, but that doesn't mean that it's inherently a part of normal sexual functioning.

Birth is supposedly different, though, because a baby is much larger than a penis. Well, yes and no. Yes, if the act is dysfunctional -- the bigger the object to be forced through, the harder it's going to be. But no, if the body is allowed to do all it can. Just as our bodies are made to easily admit a penis under the right conditions, so are they made to admit a baby. But in most births the process is interfered with to an extent that the body cannot function normally. How much of an interference is enough to do this? Think about sex (which is fueled by the same hormones as in birth.) What sorts of things can interfere with the ability to become aroused? It doesn't have to be much at all, and our bodies can completely shut down. Or just limp along pathetically, with our bodies able to complete the act, but in misery. If we didn't know about the body's ability to do it easily and pleasurably, we might think that sex was just a painful, awful thing. And this has been just the case at certain times in certain cultures. It's still unfortunatelytrue for many women that they recognize that pleasurable sex is normal, but don't know how to get there.

Well, birth is on the sexual spectrum. The hormones that are present in sex are present in birth too. The degree to which these hormones are permitted to be released is, in both, the difference between a pleasant experience and an unpleasant one. Different bodies work differently, so that for one woman these hormones may be released in full force even under very stressful conditions; for another woman they may not be released even when all attempts are made to give birth in a relaxing environment. Some women are just ultra sensitive. I'm one of those women -- which is why it makes sense for me to approach birth as I do sex, which is exactly what I'm going to do the next time I give birth.

My own experience is that the amount of pain signals my body sent to my brain correlated directly to the level of stress, lack of prevention, and interference: in my case, that meant anything that stimulated my neocortex, annoyed me, or made me inhibited, and also, I suspect the fact that I've spent a lot of time in reclining positions and sitting in chairs (tipping my uterus backward, making posterior positioning more likely.)

But I don't think that not interfering with the hormonal process is all that can be done. I plan on actively facilitating the maximum release of hormones -- that is, doing the things that normally bring me intense sensual pleasure. We'll see what happens.

 

[Shonahsmom]

I have never described my birth as or felt that it was "painful" per se.

I describe it as a very intense sensation that I could not describe as pain.

I did not use any method during labor. I did read Birthing from Within and it really resonated with me. I really made sure the atmosphere and mood supported me. Lights were very low and movement was completely unguided and unrestricted. I ate and drank when I wanted. I was completely nude. My midwife had a wonderfully non obtrusive prescence. She sat off to the side. She would quietly tip toe over and listen to heart tones without disrupting me in any way. She shooed away nurses. She and I both understood, unstated, once I was in the thick of it that noise or outside activity would have completely thrown me off. She told me afterwards that it was so cool to just sit and watch me because I was so "into it" and so "in tune" with my body. She gave me very little instruction or even suggestions because she knew I was listening so intently to my body that I was doing for myself the things I needed to bring my babe forth. She said that I asked for things moments after she had considered suggesting them, like hot compresses. I was never more sure in my life of things I asked for during my labour as being exactly what I needed.

I've heard and read about people "surrendering" their bodies to the process and that's totally what I did. I gave into it and deeply and utterly trusted my body. There was not a second of doubt; I never had a single moment of thinking I couldn't do it or a single thought about "pain". The only thing that was challenging about my labor was that I had an INTENSE pushing urge at about 7 cm that stuck with me until I was able to push. It was intense but I still would not describe it as pain... and it actually lent to pushing feeling really, really good once I got to that point (man I LOVED pushing ).

I cherish my dd's birth. It was very quiet, very still, very peaceful. It was the deepest and truest form of meditation I have ever experienced. I felt euphoric, powerful and strong. It was, to burn this term out, intense but I have no association with pain and my birth. Didn't then and I don't now.

 

[mirthfulmum]

Did my labour with my son hurt? Yes. Was it the worst pain I'd ever expereinced? Definately not.

I think a lot of factors come into play when it comes to a woman's experience with labour pain. For me, I had a fantastic mid-wife, had attenteded a very enlightening pre-natal class and read some fantastic books. I felt like I was prepared and in control of my labour and delivery the whole time. I trusted that my body knew what it was doing and I too "surrendered" myself to the labour. That combined with the fact that I had a pretty short labour, made the contraction pain managable enough that I actually slept in between contractions.

Some women are not lucky enough to be delivering in a supportive environment, and stress really ups the pain sensation. Some women labour for days (a good friend of mine laboured for 50 hours), and exhausted, can't continue to relax through the contractions. Some women are told from the moment they find out that they're pregnant that labour is so painful that they won't be able to do it without drugs.

 

[supervee]

I would not describe labor with my DS as painful. I would definitely say it was uncomfortable because it felt like someone was sitting on my tailbone (back labor). I didn't feel any contractions, and I was expecting those to hurt a lot (considering all the breathing they tell you to do through those). The pushing was a relief. That one push that got his big ol' head through was indeed a very quick searing pain. But then it was over!