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Some of the things you mentioned would concern me too, particularly given your family history, but it seems as though he is also showing some good skills, particularly with regard to imitation/play.

How does he respond to disruptions or unsolicited intervention with his routines? His play? Can you get a game going of throwing balls in a bucket-handing them to him- and what might he do if you stop? Will he try to get a ball from you? Will he go get one from across the room and resume play? Does he have shared intent at all?

Can you be silly to get him to laugh- maybe roughhousing a little and tickling? How does he let you know he wants things?

Can you grab him and love him up when he's spinning to switch his focus to you?

Because he is so little there is a wide range of skills for communication, specifically. Have you noticed any hearing issues/sensitivities? Does his behavior change in any way that you can see with certain foods?

Of course I know that these are lots of questions but hopefully it might get you to be able to look specifically at how he is coping with his environment, which is a major factor with kids on the spectrum....

You , and your baby, deserve a doctor who respects your concerns. Regardless of how he continues to develop- and I hope he's just fine- no mother's concerns should be dismissed like that. I would ask trusted nearby friends who they have for a pedi and go elsewhere.

One more thing strikes me as I reread your post- you might want to also bring him to a developmental optometrist as you mentioned a few times that he has issues with things up close....

I hope he's okay and you are able to get whatever help and/or reassurance you need.
 

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I'm so sorry I must have missed your post somehow! The info you gave in response to my post was encouraging. He seems to have good relational skills.

re the ball throwing game- heres a rec. As soon as he glances at you, he's asking. Immediately give him another ball. Have a little stash ( assorted sizes/types/colors will help to be sure he can generalize) and keep giving them to him one at a time. If you can get another person to be next to him, have them help sign and say "give" ( one finger touching the other palm, or if pointing is tricky just adapt it and hit one hand with his other one). Right away give him the ball. Have fun with it. When it becomes solid that he looks to you and asks ( in whatever way he can) move the bucket quickly while he's not looking. Vary the location. Introduce the sign/word "throw". After a few cycles give him a beanbag to throw instead of a ball. Can he shift? Will he continue? You can develop lots of little systems- like throwing wooden alphabet blocks in water, sending cars down ramps, blowing up a balloon and handing it to him to hold while it deflates, then he "give"s it back to you, etc.

Think simple, repetitive systems. Fun kid stuff. Cause and effect toys, dramatic visuals/sensory like the balloon. Have him "give " everywhere and you ask that of him too. Its a very powerful word to learn! Later you can have him watch you put the beanbag on a little pull toy wagon, he needs to pull the string to get it and throw it. Next time maybe send him a few cars in a row to send down the ramp, then back to a beanbag. Maybe encourage him to point to what he wants you to put in the wagon. Put the toy in a zip lock bag or box, so now he has to pull the string, then open the container, then decide what he needs to do with the toy.

These types of things are fun for most any little kid, whether they have learning challenges or are on the spectrum, or not.

Just reread you post- if he loves tickles try this- stand a few feet away from him, with another adult behind him. Have him be helped to say/sign "come". Dramatically step towards him. Do it again, then get to him and tickle him. Can you move further away- maybe 5 reps of "come"will be needed before you get to him ( try to figure out his zone of intention. How far away can you be before you are out of sight/mind/contact with him). Be dramatic when you come to him, Have your tickle fingers out and wiggling. Make eye contact and show your excitement as you play. You want to teach him that he can control and affect his environment with his words and actions. Be as useful to him as you can throughout many little play times and use the few words you are working on in lots of different scenarios to generalize his learning.

Hth- pm me if you'd like anytime...
 
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