[BlessedMommy2006]

Ugh. I'm sick of living in a pro-circ culture and in a state with a high circ rate. With so many people making comments about intact boys having problems, it makes me worry that my son will develop problems with his foreskin and gives me a complex.

I practice good intact care--that is, I talked to my son's doc about non-retraction and stand over my baby at exams like a hawk to make sure that none happens. I also make sure that no one else messes with his foreskin. I give him regular baths without using soap and change his diapers frequently and obviously don't mess with the foreskin myself either. So rationally I shouldn't be worried. I guess, though, when people always jump on the "worst case scenario" bandwagon and start telling you that your son will have problems, eventually it can give you a complex.

I will never have him circ'ed of course, but I'm sick of the stupid cultural complex where if you say your son is intact (or that you don't intend to circumcise) people immediately start talking about hygiene and infections.

Can anybody relate?

 

[emamum]

no i cant but thats they point.... in the uk the majority of boys are intact, circ is only done for religious reasons and we dont have millions of men with penis problems.... i have worked with babies and children for 8 years, changing nappies etc and i have seen 1 circed penis and never seen a non circed with problems

why is it so mainstream in america?

 

[BlessedMommy2006]

Quote:

Originally Posted by emamum no i cant but thats they point.... in the uk the majority of boys are intact, circ is only done for religious reasons and we dont have millions of men with penis problems.... i have worked with babies and children for 8 years, changing nappies etc and i have seen 1 circed penis and never seen a non circed with problems why is it so mainstream in america?

Thanks! That's good to know how uncommon problems are in the UK. I wish that circ wasn't mainstream in America. Somehow it caught on a number of years ago and hasn't stopped yet. Thankfully the numbers are going down as more parents question the practice.

 

[LavenderMae]

I don't worry any more about my intact sons than I do about my intact daughter. Yes, only in the US is intact so prone to problems, which is basically based on myth and perpetrated by ignorance.

Arm yourself with facts and common sense and try to ignore the pro-circ rhetoric.

 

[Cheshire]

We practiced great intact care and our son had problems. Twice now. And, we dealt with them when they came up. I do not discuss his intact status with anyone that I know will tell me "I told you so." I look for support from family that agree with us that it is his decision and they help us through the medical issues.

First, he got a yeast infection at 2yo. He spent a lot of time in a swim diaper playing with the water hose in the backyard. The wet environment of his diaper (he would put the hose down his diaper) I think is what contributed to his yeast infection. I called our doc's office, talked to the nurse about it and we decided to try a yeast cream first before making an appt. I found out later that my doc's office doesn't see a lot of intact boys so I'm really surprised they didn't freak out when I called and talked to them about the symptoms. I know we were pretty concerned because his penis was very swollen, had some pus and he complained when he would pee that it hurt. But, thanks in part to this site, we tried the cream, saw improvement in 24 hours and kept up with the treatment until it was all clear. About 10 days total.

Next problem was a little tougher. He was learning to wipe his bottom and we didn't realize that when he did it by himself he would wipe and then dab at the tip of his penis to get the drip of pee off and then toss the paper in the toilet. So, he gave himself a UTI. It took five rounds of antibiotics and three docs to get it all cleared up. I don't know if the first few rounds of antibiotics weren't working or it part of it was he was wiping and dabbing throughout. Either way, we found out what he was doing, explained that he was introducing bad bacteria into his urinary system and the last round of antibiotics cleared it up. Thanks again so much for this site and the great advice we received.

Our ped sent us to a urologist. I took DS to our regular family doc to see what he would say and his reaction was really interesting - it was obvious he thinks circ is necessary for all babies. The urologist was decent - he said recurrent infections are a reason to circ but once you do and the infection doesn't clear up then you can't put the foreskin back. I felt he would recommend it but he wasn't really pushy about it.

I got good at saying "it is not an option." I never expected to have problems but I'm so glad I was armed with the knowledge of what to do and what to say. It was a huge pain to have to search for docs that are knowledgeable about the whole penis and even through all of the searching I did I still didn't find the perfect doctor. But, I feel confident in my ability to keep my son whole even when a white coat is telling me he needs to be cut.

I guess I wrote all of that to say that things happen, infections happen, and you just remind yourself that circ is not an option and there are other choices. If something does happen don't let others tell you "I told you so." Circ'ing is not a magic bullet though so many want to believe it is.

I hope your son never has any problems but know that if he does you can do something about it and are not destined to feel badly about it.

:

 

[Claire and Boys]

Never occurs to me to worry. You wouldn't worry about a daughter having issues, yet girls have far more infections/utis etc.

 

[perspective]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlessedMommy2006 Ugh. I'm sick of living in a pro-circ culture and in a state with a high circ rate. With so many people making comments about intact boys having problems, it makes me worry that my son will develop problems with his foreskin and gives me a complex. I practice good intact care--that is, I talked to my son's doc about non-retraction and stand over my baby at exams like a hawk to make sure that none happens. I also make sure that no one else messes with his foreskin. I give him regular baths without using soap and change his diapers frequently and obviously don't mess with the foreskin myself either. So rationally I shouldn't be worried. I guess, though, when people always jump on the "worst case scenario" bandwagon and start telling you that your son will have problems, eventually it can give you a complex. I will never have him circ'ed of course, but I'm sick of the stupid cultural complex where if you say your son is intact (or that you don't intend to circumcise) people immediately start talking about hygiene and infections. Can anybody relate?

Remember in cultures that practice female circumcision, many parents are harassed into circing their daughters by people throwing the same "worst case scenarios". Now think about your own genitals, are you worried they wont stay clean? Are you worried if you dont get a piece cut off you will get an infection? I am sure your quite confident in the health of your own genitals (and feel confident you can deal with any health problem you may face). Use this way of thinking to calm your "worries" right after someone has started to bother you about your son.

Just make your mantra that your as healthy as he is. Tie the health of your genitals together, if you can be healthy without cutting off parts of your genitals, so can he.

 

[BlessedMommy2006]

Thanks for your replies everybody. I live in the Midwest, so that could be why most people circ around here and the ignorance is so prevalent! Almost makes me want to move to Europe.

Rationally, I need to remind myself that my daughter has a higher chance of having any problems than my son and aside from a few normal diaper rashes, she has never had any problems.

 

[Sk8ermaiden]

I can't really relate, but I can empathize. There are two reasons I have no issues at all about not ever circing if I have a boy:

My DH, BIL, and FIL have all been intact their whole lives with ZERO problems - not even a tiny infection or UTI. I however, have had a UTI a year since I was sexually active, and am still not malfunctional.

This is my big one for anyone who ever says that stuff to me. "There is more chance of a boy needing a second surgery to correct a botched circumcision than that an intact boy will ever medically require a circumcision." If anyone argues with me, I ask them for their stats and they never have them.

 

[treehouse]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claire and Boys Never occurs to me to worry. You wouldn't worry about a daughter having issues, yet girls have far more infections/utis etc.

Second that.

My hubby is one of 7 intact brothers and has never had any problems or known any who have. Ignore the gossip, follow your heart.

 

[njeb]

Quote:

Originally Posted by emamum no i cant but thats they point.... in the uk the majority of boys are intact, circ is only done for religious reasons and we dont have millions of men with penis problems.... i have worked with babies and children for 8 years, changing nappies etc and i have seen 1 circed penis and never seen a non circed with problems why is it so mainstream in america?

Circumcision started in the United States during the Victorian era, the late 19th century, as a cure for masturbation. Needless to say, it wasn't "cured," so doctors started inventing reasons for continuing the practice. The middle of the U.S., which is called the Midwest, currently has the highest circ. rate--around 80% of newborns are cut.

:

The US wasn't the only country with a high circ. rate. Until the late 1940's, the UK had a circ. rate around 40-50%. It was highest amongst the upper classes. The rate plummeted after the National Health Service stopped covering it. I wish our insurance companies would do the same!

The circ. rate was also high in Canada, Australia, and New Zealand. It has dropped to less than 10% in these countries. Only the U.S. continues with this barbaric custom.

 

[fresh_veggie]

I chatted with my mom about circumcision - both of my brothers were cut, but I'm leaving my son(s) intact. Anyway - she said the reason that it's so commonplace in the US is because during the 2 world wars - the men were in trenches for weeks on end with no hygienic ways to wash themselves, and the men who were circ'd didn't have too many problems, but the men who were intact would get gangrene more and their penises would have to be amputated. Ouch.

I pointed out to her that their fingers, toes, hands and feet also rotted off - we should remove those too so we don't have that problem

She agrees with me, though, and says that if she wasn't so ignorant when she was younger then she would have never even dreamed of circ for them. The doctors just told her it's cleaner.

:

 

[tutucrazy]

Keep in mind that about 97% of what people consider to be "foreskin problems" are really just natural separation occurring. They see a little redness or swelling and assume that it is a problem. Most parents don't understand the natural development of the intact boy, even if they do understand that they should not retract. You have an understanding of this process so you should feel good that you won't rush him off to an ignorant doctor where he could be forcibly retracted just b/c you see a little redness or swelling.

Just understand that his foreskin is still developing throughout childhood and respect this process. Nature really does know what it is doing.

 

[robertandenith]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claire and Boys Never occurs to me to worry. You wouldn't worry about a daughter having issues, yet girls have far more infections/utis etc.

I totally agree with this. BOTH of my daughters get their labia irritated, at least 3 times a year. It is solved by applying a little unrefined coconut oil. This happens to them because they are afraid of wiping to strong and sometimes they won't wipe at all. A huge battle. Yet we are not cutting the girls.

 

[bluetoes]

I was under the impression that 'in the trenches infection' was an urban myth. Anyway I don't worry too much about it knowing intact penises are the norm in this world, plus my female parts are a lot more infection prone and my ob/gyn wouldn't cut my vulva off if I had recurrent infections. Luckily we have a good ped who is not pro-circ.

My theory about why Americans are generally so obsessed about genital cleanliness is this: I think it's a hangover of Puritanism and Victorian mores that makes people here feel deep down that if sex = dirty & since then, sex organ = filthy must be scrubbed with brillo.

 

[Bea]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tutucrazy Keep in mind that about 97% of what people consider to be "foreskin problems" are really just natural separation occurring. They see a little redness or swelling and assume that it is a problem. Most parents don't understand the natural development of the intact boy, even if they do understand that they should not retract. You have an understanding of this process so you should feel good that you won't rush him off to an ignorant doctor where he could be forcibly retracted just b/c you see a little redness or swelling. Just understand that his foreskin is still developing throughout childhood and respect this process. Nature really does know what it is doing.

Copy this, stick it on the fridge and read it every time you open the door.

'Watchful waiting'...it's a medical buzzphrase, but it's a good one for foreskin issues. Do nothing (except for comfort measures if the 'problem' is causing pain) but watch and wait. Don't rush in and consult the medical profession. Treat his willy as you would your own*...you wouldn't rush to your OBGYN for a day or two of redness/swelling/irritation would you? You'd apply 'something' to make it feel better and give it a day or two or 3 to heal.

When in doubt, air it out is a good way to think about foreskin care

(*genitals obv. You don't have a willy

)

 

[Meg_s]

Never worried

I live in Germany and as far as I've seen, people don't worry about their kids normal penises having probs

 

[tennisdude23]

Quote:

Originally Posted by fresh_veggie I chatted with my mom about circumcision - both of my brothers were cut, but I'm leaving my son(s) intact. Anyway - she said the reason that it's so commonplace in the US is because during the 2 world wars - the men were in trenches for weeks on end with no hygienic ways to wash themselves, and the men who were circ'd didn't have too many problems, but the men who were intact would get gangrene more and their penises would have to be amputated. Ouch. I pointed out to her that their fingers, toes, hands and feet also rotted off - we should remove those too so we don't have that problem She agrees with me, though, and says that if she wasn't so ignorant when she was younger then she would have never even dreamed of circ for them. The doctors just told her it's cleaner. :

The whole "circumcision started during WWI and WWII because of bad hygiene" is just another myth. Not a single piece of historical evidence exists to validate the point of mass circumcisions or penile amputations during either war. Again, if this was true, you would expect that circumcision would be common place in Europe, Japan, etc.

 

[BlessedMommy2006]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tutucrazy Keep in mind that about 97% of what people consider to be "foreskin problems" are really just natural separation occurring. They see a little redness or swelling and assume that it is a problem. Most parents don't understand the natural development of the intact boy, even if they do understand that they should not retract. You have an understanding of this process so you should feel good that you won't rush him off to an ignorant doctor where he could be forcibly retracted just b/c you see a little redness or swelling. Just understand that his foreskin is still developing throughout childhood and respect this process. Nature really does know what it is doing.

Good point! Thank you for an excellent post.

 

[Treece]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cheshire Next problem was a little tougher. He was learning to wipe his bottom and we didn't realize that when he did it by himself he would wipe and then dab at the tip of his penis to get the drip of pee off and then toss the paper in the toilet. So, he gave himself a UTI. It took five rounds of antibiotics and three docs to get it all cleared up. I don't know if the first few rounds of antibiotics weren't working or it part of it was he was wiping and dabbing throughout. Either way, we found out what he was doing, explained that he was introducing bad bacteria into his urinary system and the last round of antibiotics cleared it up. Thanks again so much for this site and the great advice we received.

I just wanted to say that this is one of those problems that circ would NEVER fix. It is an educational moment. Your son is very lucky to have you as his mommy. Most in America would have lopped off the foreskin at the yeast infection, then wonder why he was having recurrent UTI's.