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Okay, she's my future MIL.<br><br>
Background: My fiance and I do not live together, yet. We each live at home w/ our own parents.<br><br>
On to the story. I normally have Darren (just about 4 mo) in the mornings, then go over to Ryan's (fiance) house in the afternoon and spend the night there. Today, though, Ryan has Darren b/c I have to work tonight and needed to finish sewing a dress this morning. Darren came down with a cold yesterday and was fussy most of the day, but I am too when I have a cold. Oh, and he's teething.<br><br>
SO....at 1 this afternoon, I get a call from Ryan telling me that he and his mom are taking Darren to the doctor at 2:15. My stomach PLUMMETS. "What's wrong!? Is he okay?"<br>
"Well, he's been fussy and mom think's he's warm, so we should take him to the doctor."<br><br>
Well when I get there and get the whole story (and see my child), I realize it's nothing my MIL's paranoia. He has a cold. He is stuffy, yes, fussy, yes, but not feverish. Ryan thought Darren was fine, but his mom pulled this passive-aggressive, "Well, he's not MY child, and it's up to you, BUT...." and "What? Do you have a problem with doctors?" and, "When you guys were babies I took you to the doctor all the time!"<br><br>
So we go to the doctor to make her happy. And guess what the doctor said? He has a bad cold. Not much we can do. I'm shocked *insert eyeroll*<br><br>
I do NOT like it implied that I or my fiance are bad parents simply b/c we don't feel a doctor's visit is warrented for every sniffle. And while we're on Medicaid now and don't have to worry about the cost personally, that's not going to always be the case. I don't care how rich I end up being, I don't think it's prudent to waste money on unnecessary doctor's visits.<br><br>
If I felt even for a SECOND that something was truly wrong with my child, I would rush him to the doctor in a heartbeat. But he had a COLD. She has 12 siblings and 4 children of her own. Her arugment? "Well he's so little and doesn't have much of an immune system, yet."<br><br>
Well how do you think he DEVELOPS one?! By fighting off minor illnesses like this!<br><br>
UGH! She is a nice, sweet woman. Really. It's just that she and I (and my fiance) have radically different parenting styles. And sometimes it REALLY grates on my nerves.<br><br>
Okay. End rant. Thanks for listening <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Maybe it would help to get her paranoid on the other direction. Randomly bring up discussions about illnesses acquired in doctors offices, etc. Or just come flat out and tell her that because dr offices are so germy and dangerous you want to make darn sure it's necessary to have him there. It's not an "on the safe side" thing when the thing you're doing is inherently dangerous, kwim? You want to make sure the benefits outweigh the risks.
 

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Next time you can always bring up what happened today. "Remember last time when you were sure he should see the dr and our assesment of just a bad cold was correct? We are confident in our ability to keep our baby healthy and safe. Thank you for your concern."
 

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Ah, for the days when I still thought my MIL was a sweet, nice woman who merely had different parenting views! Good luck--and FWIW, I agree about making her paranoid in the other direction--that would totally work with my MIL! And you shouldn't feel bad about not taking him to the doctor--we rarely go to the doctor. Medicine and doctor's visits come only after we've given our immune systems a chance to work on their own!
 
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