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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Not trying to scare anyone w/younger kids <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> . Just looking for support/guidance/vent:<br><br>
DD just started K this week. We considered homeschooling and still might at some point - she was so excited for school we thought we would give it a chance. School is very "good" one and has lots of gt options for slightly older kids. We had dd tested independently over the summer so we would have some things to back up our statements as we talked to teachers/schools.<br><br>
We met with the teacher to discuss dd's verbal intelligence and teacher responded "Well, what about her social development because we have had some issues" - this is on day 3 of school! And on day 2, dd left her lunch on the bus and was upset about it (I didn't ask what the other issues were - I will check back in soon).<br><br>
Later, the reading specialist called to check that I had "wanted her tested" to which I responded I just wanted to share the info I had as I knew they were going to be dividing the kids into ability groups over the next few weeks and I wanted to share the data we had to ensure appropriate grouping (perhaps in a first grade class for reading, for example). She said dd read from their "level M" book (the highest, I assume in the K series, I think the teacher said it went fro level A-M) and she did well, but could have given a more detailed summary of the book and needs to work on inference, because she made an incorrect guess about what was going to happen in the story. Again, I felt like she was trying to emphasize the ways that dd was not a "perfect" reader, which I wasn't trying to imply - (maybe <b>I</b> have trouble w/inferencing <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> !)<br><br>
She also mentioned that she told dd "You read very well" to which dd responded "Yes, I like to read. I read A LOT!" and the reading specialist replied "Well, it is also good to play with your friends. Do you have time to do that, too?" Again, this could just be my perception, but it felt like the reading specialist thought I was forcing dd to read.<br><br>
Well, I guess I am very sensitive to criticism and feel it, even if it was not intended - but it is so hard to feel as if your child (and you!) are being judged. I feel like if I went in saying my child is struggling w/some academic skill, the school would try to help, but when you want to "help" by having more than the norm, the response is that it can't be or that you should focus on other areas, or that your child isn't "all that".<br><br>
Well, I know that many of you homeschool. I probably could have waited a bit longer to approach the teacher to give her more time to get to know dd before "labeling" her. Any other advice or suggestions on staying positive and open in school interactions?
 

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I could relate to so much of your post from what ds went through last year. It wasn't pleasant. Every conversation I had with the school started "Your ds is really, really smart BUT......." It get's hard to hear.<br><br>
Here's what I'm reading in your post. There seems to be a big emphasis on being social and having fun being social in this class. There doesn't seem to be an understanding that your dd enjoys learning and finds that stimulating. They also don't seem to "get" overexcitabilities, and will attribute emotional outburst to being immature. It sounds like you might have to do some education. If it were me, I'd try to arrange a time to meet with the GT teacher/administrator and see if s/he can help you get dd's teachers on track with the fine attributes of giftedness. See if s/he can help you advocate for your dd.<br><br>
It's very easy to get defensive when they start nit-picking on every little thing. I completely get that. They might start to look for other "problems," such as maybe your dd likes to talk to adults rather than the other children, and will choose playing alone rather than with other children. I'm not going to say this will definitely happen, but IME, if they have some sort of distorted preconception, they will often continue to feed that preconception rather than keeping an open mind with allowing dd to continue to reveal herself to them. It is extremely important that they don't see you as adversarial in your approach, which is why if the GT coordinator can help you, it could be a good way to preserve your relationship with the teachers.<br><br>
BTW - the lack of detail and inference.....yeah, ds got that, too. You should ask to see what an "M" level book is. I would bet that it might be below your dd's level. If a book was too easy for my ds, he just really care to discuss it much.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>crb</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9042799"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
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She also mentioned that she told dd "You read very well" to which dd responded "Yes, I like to read. I read A LOT!" and the reading specialist replied "Well, it is also good to play with your friends. Do you have time to do that, too?" Again, this could just be my perception, but it felt like the reading specialist thought I was forcing dd to read.</div>
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For the record I would have felt the same thing you did.
 

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What Roar said.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">. They might start to look for other "problems," such as maybe your dd likes to talk to adults rather than the other children, and will choose playing alone rather than with other children.</td>
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Hmm. That doesn't sound at all familiar. I have no idea what you're talking about.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thank you so far for the replies. Lauraloo - I was even thinking of you before I posted! I felt such a wave of thankfulness to know that I am not totally crazy in my "reading" of the teachers so far. I really value each of your opinions very highly. I will look in to this a bit further . . .<br><br>
What is so crazy is that I didn't ask for dd to be moved into first grade or anything - but the reading stuck out as something that will be an issue. I just wanted to present what we had and discuss what she currently reads by way of comparison. I feel like I am a rational, reasonable person - not a pushy, overindulging, in-your-face parent.<br><br>
I am thankful for any stories or sustaining messages of who/how to address the school. So appreciative!
 

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I think the bottom line is that some schools are much better about all of "this" than other schools. I had absolutely no idea what I was in for last year. The school simply couldn't understand how they were contributing to ds' problems with adjusting, meltdowns, boredom, etc. Instead of being proactive in meeting his needs, I felt that we spent all year digging out of a hole. It didn't have to be that way. It shouldn't be that way. I'm hoping that it will be different for you.
 
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