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I was on the phone with my MIL last night... finances come up and she tells me 'well, XXX and I just went out and bought something if we wanted it. We worked hard and felt we deserved it' OOOOOOHHHHHH. THIS would be where my budgeting issues are coming from.

Then there's my mom 'Are you sure you need new underware? Those holes aren't very big and Christmas is coming in a few months (like 7 months)' totally guilt tripping about every little tiny purchase.

I'm struggling to find balance right now. My parents and his made about the same, my parents made more once I was in high school. Hubby's family totally lived on their entire paycheck and then went into debt when something came up, while my parents (mom mostly, but dad went along with it) likely lived on about 60% and used the rest for savings, paying off the mortgage early, etc.

His parents bought the trucks/vans/cars they wanted on credit. My parents paid cash for a used model that maybe wasn't perfect. We were nowhere deprived growing up, but I don't want to raise my kids with the same guilt I was raised with (my mother was convinced that I only needed shampoo and the 99 cent bottle of conditioner was too extravagant and unnecessary. That sort of thing) but I don't want to raise them so they 'buy now pay later' like we have done.

I hear the same kinds of things come out of my MIL's mouth... she's single now, and 'living on secretary wages' but she is always buying stuff for us and her other son's family, buying NICE Christmas presents for us, bought a new SUV, etc. Then she 'just doesn't know how she's expected to manage on these wages' WELLLLLL, I could tell ya! LOL

I'm really trying to not be exactly like my mother, and I think hubby is trying not to be exactly like his family. But the attitude of 'well, if we skimp now, everythign will be paid off in 15 yrs instead of 30' and 'I deserve a dirt bike, I've always wanted one, and I'm not going to be in my 20s forever' are having a hard time meshing. He'll look at the budget and say, hey, the truck isn't probly going to break again soon, so we can use the $100 in truck repairs each month for a dirt bike payment' while I'll say 'Oh my goodness! We're cutting it so close! We've got to sell XYZ! Look how much we're paying in interest on ABC, we need to eat rice and beans for the next year and get that credit card paid off!'

We've recently hit bottom, and it's getting better. But, we're still nickle and diming our way into overdrafting the account. The budget IS maxed out, but every once in a while we'll come home with an 18 pack of beer that we didn't budget for, or if we have a gift certificate to Cabelas for $30 and the knife we want is $35 we forget that we also have to pay shipping, and that will get us.

I'm just frusturated. Here's my rant/ramblings. Hubby IS trying to change. He used to buy all the tools he wanted, and tools literally added up to $1000/month for 6 months straight. He needed them for work (even though he was an employee), but not really required, they just made his job eaiser. Now it's the $30-$50/month stuff that is blowing the budget, a big improvement from $1000!

I've TOTALLY been tempted to just lie about how much I make (I'm paid on production, so it's not something set) so he thinks he has less to work with and we're cutting it close, even if we're not. But, that's not how two adults who are married treat eachother, so I'll not.

Ahh. Okay. I'm done. Don't know what the point of all this was, but I just am typing my ramblings...

Cara
 

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I'm reading Secrets of the Millionaire Mind right now. It talks about how your childhood affects your financial status now. It goes in to how to fix it, but I haven't gotten that far yet. You might want to look into it.
 
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