[Christina381]

For those who are unaware of what Aspergers is, it is considered on the autisic spectrum but higher functioning.

I was just wondering if there are any parents out there with children who have AS?

My son is nine years old with AS.. very smart when it comes to facts, math, different types of light bulbs (LOL) and electronics. Yet very socially awkward and what I like to call "quorky" lol

Im hoping to possibly meet some parents who have had success in teaching their children how to socially interact and respond to people appropriately..

Im having a difficult time trying to teach kyle how to see other peoples view.. he is very narrow minded when it comes to seeing something through others eyes.. though I realize this is an "AS" trademark, I am hoping to somehow teach him..

Would love to hear from any parents, or anyone for that matter who has experience with aspergers.

Thanks!
Christina

 

[jillmamma]

You may have more luck in the Special Needs Parenting forum. There are quite a few of us there that have kids on the spectrum, myself included. DS has PDD-NOS, and acts similarly in social situations but is younger (6 in 11 days). His current obsessions are penguins, ice, and trains. He enjoys playing with other kids but gets kind of "wild" due to excitement at first, then can settle down after awhile. Also has issues with reading when to stop acting a certain way that is making someone uncomfortable. For us, the PPCD program at school and OT has helped him come a LONG way in the past year. I hope you can find more of what you are looking for.

 

[hippiemom]

I am a middle school teacher, seen several Asperger's kids... they astound me. The ones I have had in class were all gifted, amazing..

One mom gave her daughter tons of direct instruction. This means discussing and going over specific situations and how to act or respond, almost like a drill. A kids are usually very detail oriented, and if you can present "social lessons" they will remember the details of what to do, and can practice. This student was quite successful and well liked, though she was pretty quirky too. The kids saw this as part of her charm.

If you have not read "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time", you simply must.

 

[samfan]

Hi,
I have one child (12 yo dd) with Aspergers and another (9 yo ds) who isn't diagnosed but who is most likely somewhere on the spectrum. My dd was just diagnosed about 9 months ago. She is also highly gifted and I really wrote off a lot of her quirks as "gifted issues" but as she's entered adolescence it became more obvious that there was more to it than that.

One thing that has helped me so far is just realizing that she really does not know how to behave in social circumstances. We have always had trouble with doctor's offices. She just doesn't get the small talk that people do with medical professionals. When she was little I said she's just shy and nervous but I think she really never got it. What I've started doing is talking with her as we drive to an appointment about how she should behave. On a recent visit to the orthodontist I said "how will you interact with the doctor and her assistants?" DD said "I don't know." I said, "When they say hello, you should look at their face and say hello back. Then when they ask you how school is going you should reply and in two sentences or less (dd usually either doesn't respond to this question or responds with a very long, too much info monologue)." She said "I'll say 'some parts are good and some parts aren't so good.'" When we got there she was able to do exactly that and it went really well.

 

[Christina381]

Well Ive noticed when I give him directions on how to respond he will do the same.. " say exactly what I tell him to say" which seems to be working fine.

My problem, so to speak is the fact that he questions everything.. and EVERYTHING is a debate.

Example.. He has a bad habit of correcting his friends.. He is constantly showing them the "correct" way to do things.. I had a talk telling him it isnt polite to correct his friends and to stop.. 3 weeks later He decided to take up sewing.. He wanted to stitch a pillow case and when I wanted to show his how to loop it he kept going on and on about knowing how to sew... I tried explaining the correct way so as to hide the stitching better, and as always, he doesnt forget anything and brings up.. But mom u said its not nice to correct people so stop correcting me! AHHH!!!

EVERYTHING is literal.. EVERYTHING has to be a 20 minute conversation that leaves me mentally exhausted, especially when I think he is only 9 and I cant imagine what it will be like in 5 years! lol..

I guess that is what we have the toughtest time with.. seeing something through others eyes and teaching him he is not ALWAYS right.

Kids in his class get so fed up with it.. when I tell him he wont keep friends his response is.. I dont care mom, I dont want friends, they are loud and inventors dont need friends .. sheesh!

 

[Christina381]

Hippiemom,

Im going to go check that book out on amazon.. Ill let you know after I finish it.. always looking for a good book.

thanks

 

[emamum]

ds is 7 and has aspergers, im interested to see how its dealt with in america. we have to fight for a diagnosis and they really dont like giving it!

the literal thing can be funny sometimes and ds likes to do things in the right order as well... i made a mistake a few weeks ago of writing my shopping list in a hurry and putting things on as i remembered, not in the order they are at asda..... we were there for ages walking from one end of the shop to another!!

ds is good with numbers, has a photographic memory and can also quote a full conversation back to you (which is no good when you say something by mistake or change your mind)

one of the things i first noticed about him was that when he was 2/3 and i read him a book he could recite the whole thing back to me.

I have refused behaviour modification drugs because he wuldnt be my little boy if he was different (isywim??)

 

[samfan]

Oh my goodness, I know what you mean! DD1 (dx'd with Asperger's) does the correcting her peers (and anyone else, including, unfortunately, her teachers) all the time and I have heard that response about "I don't care if I have friends" a lot too. She seems content with her life as it is but as her mom I worry about her future.
DS does the arguing with every little thing bit. I call him a little lawyer. As you said, the smallest things have to involve a 20 minute argument. It is definitely exhausting.
I wish I had more advice for those but right now I'm in the middle of that struggle too.

 

[Toolip]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hippiemom If you have not read "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time", you simply must.

I have this book at my house but I have not read it... what does it have to do with AS?

I work with a 6 year old with aspergers, he is amazing!

 

[Village Mama]

I have a 7 year old who is an Aspie and a 5 year old who is likely somewhere on the spectrum. I have to laugh at the 20 min long arguments/ debate/ discussion about everything!! I don't think that many outsiders could understand just how tiring that is!

I have done a TON of direct instruction. We are homelearners so we have a lot of time together and I am able to observe behaviors easily. I have instinctually gone over social situations with them since they were little ( I am undiagnosed but clearly Aspie myself. My mom used these techniques with me when I was younger and I definitely learned to become more aware myself and to observe my own behavior and correct it with the prescribed " right thing to do"!) I do it in private with them. For example if we pass someone on the street and they say hello and the kiddos completely ignore thier presence , I will state " that man was saying hello to you! When someone says hello it is really polite to look at them and acnowledge them in some way. A wave or a smile or a quick hello. He is trying to be friendly with you and it makes his day nicer and makes him feel good inside to have connections with people in his neighbourhood". ( Ok . this seems cheesy written out but it really has worked for us. I point out body language, kids bizzare ways of trying to connect and play, peoples friendly teasing etc etc. It has become sort of a game. Over the years he tries out " saying hello" or different things we have gone over and then is able to connect with thier reaction because I prepped him on what to look for. Does that make sense? It is quick , and not a huge focus.... just a quick observation,. I am not shaming them or anything. Just pointing it out like I would the mountains in the distance or a cool bird or something.

 

[ollineeba]

My son also has Asperger's. You're in good company, there are a lot of us here

 

[samfan]

Villagemama,
That's so interesting that you've had that experience with your kiddos when meeting people on the street. Way back when dd was 5 and in K, I knew about the gifted part of her but was completely unaware of the Aspergers. We would be out walking and would run into kids from her class. They would always smile and wave and greet her by name but she would not respond at all. I could never understand it and after awhile I got so I would instruct her when we saw a classmate approaching to "say hello to your friend." Looking back, that was definitely an Aspie thing!