Mothering Forum banner

1 - 5 of 5 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
2 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am trying to settle our holiday custody schedule. What does your holiday parenting plan say for New Years Eve and New Years Day? Split it each year? Alternate each year? What are your start and end times? I can't wrap my head around it since my kids are babies and I don't want to be away from them EVER. Ugh - I still can't believe that I have to live by this schedule for the rest of my life.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
480 Posts
DH and his Ex split the winter break and alternate who gets the first half and second half. So if she's with us for Christmas Eve / Day, then she's with her mother for New Year's Eve / Day. DSD was already in school when they got divorced so that made sense at the time.

If your kids are younger, you could probably do one schedule for now and then transition to a different one as they start school. DH had two different parenting plans for when he was working out of the country vs. now that we're living in the same state as DSD.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,169 Posts
Because xh doesn't celebrate Christmas, our parenting plan says that I get it every year. We switch off who gets New Year's. The switch time is dictated by our work schedules and the availability of child care, to split the time we're each likely to be required to either take off work or arrange babysitters.

Unless you're super high conflict and your partner is horribly unreasonable, this won't be the schedule for ever. You'll do one thing while the kids are small and figure out what works for your family and adapt. In the meantime, and since you will be stuck with this if your ex is a jerk about it, figure out what would be practically be easiest to live with, and try for that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,952 Posts
We split the Jewish holidays and Thanksgiving in the formal agreement, and have had to do the other special days informally.

It's still really hard to be separate from my son on some of those days. Some things that have made my life easier in those situations: working, exercising, cleaning the house, seeing friends, going on dates, reading library books.

I recommend that you make a list of all the days that are important to you. Find out whether they map onto the days that are important to your ex. You might be able to negotiate having the children on the days that matter to you in exchange for some that matter to him. Otherwise, you can make a formal agreement to alternate. You should not assume that your ex will be 100% cooperative about this. A lot of people, especially men, "play hardball" in divorce negotiations. The list of what you want is for you, so that you have an idea of how to get something like the amount of time with your kids on holidays that makes sense for you and for them.
 
1 - 5 of 5 Posts
Top