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DS is almost two. I have loved co-sleeping, nursing on demand, responding to his needs. I can't imagine parenting any other way and know it is part of the reason he is the special boy he has become.<br>
But, it takes 45-60 minutes to get him to sleep. Pulling my nipples, jumping, bouncing. Once he is asleep, he is up every 1-2 hours for a snack.<br><br>
If I didn't want more children I would wait it out. But, I do want more kids and I am going to be 37. I keep waiting for him to sleep better, but....<br><br>
What have you all done to help this situation? Do these kids learn (on their own to go to sleep/stay to sleep)?<br><br>
I don't know that I could do the Dr. Gordon method b/c with my DS, it would resort to major CIO. I have Pantley's book and some things have helped. But, I can only calm DS down reall with nursing (no rocking, reading, etc.).<br><br>
My first DS was born premature, so I can't be pregnant and nurse at the same time. What am I to do?<br><br>
Raquel
 

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i felt like you when joe was your son's age. he is 4.5 now & since he turned four he has been a real joy at night. he falls asleep quickly & sleeps like a brick.<br><br>
i seriously thought for awhile he would NEVER be able to fall asleep w/ out nursing, etc.<br><br>
i did not have the desire for other kids so i have no advice in that respect, but good luck. one day he will be asleep & you will realize that he hasn't nursed. i am so glad that part is over in some ways, @ the same time i wish i could have all those days back!!<br><br>
keep us posted!
 

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Well, when we tried to nightwean ds at 18 months, he did cry horrendously, and I lasted about 30 minutes (with dh and I both comforting him) before I gave in and decided he wasn't ready. When he turned 2, we decided to try it again, and I was expecting another round of disaster. Well, he did get pissed when he woke, but not sobbing and crying. This went on for about 3 nights, and within the week, he was no longer upset if we didn't nurse.<br><br>
His nightwakings continued for about another month, and now he is down to waking 1x at night, at which time dh or I can cuddle with him and he goes right back to sleep. (He will continue to wake if I'm not in bed or if he is in his little bed in our room, however.) This has made a huge difference for us, as he used to wake every 1-2 hours. It was driving me insane. I haven't had a middle of the night breakdown in 4 months. Very nice change.<br><br>
I too was waiting for the nightwakings to get better before thinking about another baby, so I was greatly relieved when the nightweaning worked.<br><br>
You might want to at least try nightweaning - you might be surprised at how your ds handles it. But I certainly would never recommend pushing it if he seems overly upset by it.<br><br>
If I were you, I would go ahead and start TTC. I really believe that our kids will adapt to the situation and that everything will work out just fine, even if we can't figure out how that could possibly be. Plus, a lot can change in 9 months.<br><br>
Edited to add: Doh, I just reread the part about not being able to nurse while pregnant. That would change things. But are you sure that is the case? I was under the impression that it was different for each pregnancy, but I could be wrong. I would definitely research that a bit and find out if indeed that is the case. That said, I personally have no desire to nurse while pregnant (I had very sore breasts my first pregnancy), and am kind of hoping that ds will wean while I'm pregnant, if not before. If you really can't nurse while pregnant, and you definitely want another baby, then I would be starting down the path of gentle weaning. Nursing for 2 years is wonderful, and more than the majority of children get.
 

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Well, just to add my 2 cents worth.... ds is now 3 and sleeps good and sound all night (unless theres monsters in his eyes!) but it did take a while to get over the night nursing issue. We had another baby when he was 2 1/2 and he still had a few sleep issues but nothing that dh couldn't help out with. I figure we weren't used to sleeping all night already why not have another one? But it has resolved and he does much better now... now for getting my 6 month old to sleep all night is another story! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">:<br><br>
Sarah
 

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I agree that nightweaning might be a good option for you. My dd had the same kind of sleep pattern as your little one at that age, but now at 2 1/2 it takes 5-15min to get her to sleep (we cuddle or go for a walk) and she sleeps pretty much through the night. If she does wake up, she just toddles into our room, crawls into our bed and goes right back to sleep.<br><br>
Nighweaning can be rough, but there's a big difference between CIO and walking, holding and cuddling your toddler back to sleep when she's crying. It might break your heart for a few nights, but for us anyway, it was worth it in the end. We all sleep better.<br><br>
peace, Beth
 

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i'd definitely check into the nursing while pregnant thing more. i haven't had a premature baby, but it's my impression that if nursing is a concern while pregnant it's more of a concern in the third trimester. i could be dead wrong about that, though and you might already have all that info. anyway, if the third trimester thing does hold i can tell you from my experience that being pregnant does change your nursing relationship. i'm pg now and while i didn't expect or encourage dd to wean if i had wanted her to i think it wouldn't have been too hard while pg. she cut down on her nursing sessions a lot when my milk supply lessened.<br><br>
btw, she's 2.5 and does sleep great in the family bed with us now.<br><br>
hth
 

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I agree with Beth-Tx. There is a HUGE difference between CIO and nightweaning with love. As long as you provide your son with love and responsiveness and cuddling, it's okay if he cries. Realistically, we can't keep our kids from crying for their entire lives, though we definitely might want to! (i know I do). And you are right, you don't have a LOT of time left on your biological clock. So if this were me, I would start nightweaning him now and be prepared for a rocky road at night and a need for LOTS of daytime attention. Definitely speak to your doctor about breastfeeding while pregnant because in my research, it's okay for the mother to breastfeed during the first and second trimesters even with a history of a preterm birth. ALSO, keep in mind that many toddlers wean from the breast when mom gets pregnant because the milk changes and they are'nt 'happy about it. That may be an easier way for your son to sort of be prompted to wean without being forced and pushed. Best of luck to you.<br>
Meg
 

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We nightweaned dd at 2.5, when I got pregnant again and could not stand the agony of nursing, esp. when I needed so much more sleep. It went so well! We'd tried earlier, without success.<br><br>
And, she usually - 2 nights out of 3 - sleeps through the night. I'm like a new woman, one with sore breasts and constant fatigue! No, really, it has been great.<br><br>
Key for us was to read some books, then tell 10 or 15 1-2 minute stories about her day and people she loves - repitition of stories she's heard a million times. In a slow, tired voice. Eventually she drops off. Now we're down to about 5 books and no stories, and she falls asleep in 5-15 minutes if I play-sleep beside her.<br><br>
I thought she'd nurse to sleep until I was dead, at least. We do still nurse for naps, but once a day is fine!<br><br>
Good luck.
 

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I can't relate to the night nursing thing because I pumped milk into bottles for dd and weaned her very early for fear of bottlemouth. But as far as sleeping, my dd's very spirited and would take forever to get to sleep, kicking me in the process. Now that we are expecting again I decided enough was enough. We had moved her out of our bed to her own in our room at around 24 mos. I think, but she would often crawl into the bed with us and kick me.<br><br>
She'll be 3 in December and is old enough to understand certain things now that she wasn't before. So we bought a big bed for her in her room, and dh slept on the floor next to the bed for awhile, but she kept joining him on the floor. I really wanted her to sleep on her own if possible.<br><br>
I started with naptimes being very firm about her staying in bed when it was time to take a nap. At first it was a struggle but I was consistent and loving. I kept the same nap and bedtimes for her every day. First I sat next to her in bed until she fell asleep. Then I started sitting in the rocker by her bed for 3 songs, then leaving. Now I sit in the dark through one song on her CD and then I kiss her and say goodnight. I have a babymonitor by the bed and she knows I can hear her and will come if she calls for me. She's not scared of the dark either.<br><br>
At first it took her 2 hours to fall asleep after I left the room but she was singing the whole time and obviously not in distress. The last 2 nights she's taken only 15 min. to fall asleep and is staying asleep through most of the night until 5:30. She gets her sippy cup of milk and gets to join me in bed until we both wake up around 6:30 or 7.<br><br>
Like I said it took some work on our part but we were very firm with her, and yet very loving too. WE needed her to move out, it was not good for our marriage to have her up all night until we went to bed. We had no time to talk and were feeling a lot of family tension. Things are a lot better for everyone. She was ready for this and so were we.<br><br>
Darshani
 
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