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I'm putting this here because it's really an issue with me, not my kids. I hope that's okay.<br><br>
What do you do when you feel like you've been yelling too much? When you feel like you're just out of patience? How do you 'reset' to the calm, rational mother you want to be?<br><br>
I've got a lot of various stresses in my life right now, mainly related to money issues. I don't know if that's why I've been yelling more, but maybe the stress in other areas of my life has translated to me having less patience with the kids. They're not doing anything really wrong, it's just that I escalate much faster.. "Let's put your socks and shoes on so we can go to the park. Get your socks and shoes now please. I said, socks and shoes need to go on now! I'm going to count to three, and if your socks and shoes aren't on right now, you're going to be in big trouble!" I don't really follow through with any punishment in these situations because I know I was overreacting, but I still don't want to yell so much. I'm low on spare time, and going out for a few hours in the evening for myself does not really have the same positive effect it used to.
 

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I have no advice but often wonder the same thing about myself <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I think being a mother is a hard job and then you add everyday stressors on it and you are likely to have slim to no patience. Don't be so hard on yourself mama, we all have a bad days <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I have been in therapy for PPD, and the anger and yelling (at my 3yo) that came with it. At my most recent session my therapist and I released my anger. It went like this:<br>
First I decided where in my body the anger came from. (I decided my throat, hence the yelling)<br>
Second I decided where my anger was on a scale of 0-10 (Mine was at a 7)<br>
Then we started the work:<br>
I held my right hand, palm in, on my throat (the location of my anger)<br>
Then I put my left hand on the top of my head, took a deep breath in, and as I let the breath out I said "I release all of the times and ways I feel angry"<br>
Next I put my left hand on my forehead, palm in, and did the same thing.<br>
I repeated the same thing putting my left hand on my chin, heart, right sholder, left sholder,stomach, lower stomach, right hip, left hip, and tucked my hand under my butt. All palm touching my body and leaving the right hand where it started. As I said my statement each time I visualized the anger swirling down and out of my body.<br>
When we had gone though this once she asked me what level my anger was at (down to a 3)<br>
So we did it again and again until I was at a 0.<br>
It workes. I still do yell once in a while, but I have felt less angry over all and am still working on it all.<br>
This process can be done with any feeling or emotion that you want to release. It does take a while to go through this process, but in the moment of yelling I take a deep breath and think of the work "love". It helps me.
 

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I can certainly relate to you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><br>
Locating your anger sounds like a good plan to me. In my case I have always found the more stressors I had to deal with at the same time (work, clutter at home, problems within the extended family, lack of support) the more I tended to blow. I am embarrassed and ashamed to say that this even has led to hitting a couple of times, especially in the relatively early phases of my parenting journey. (Please mommas, don't slaughter me here. I feel bad enough as it is. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">)<br>
Have you ever heard of <a href="http://www.flylady.net?" target="_blank">www.flylady.net?</a> This is basically a system for getting a grip on your domestic tasks but her (Flylady's) central message is FLY: finally love yourself. She works a lot with routines, there is also a tool for facing your finances. Maybe this would help you.<br>
Take care of yourself!
 
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