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I posted awhile ago about dh thinking it ok to spank and he hasn't since. We are both frustrated and me more since I'm with the boys all day. And dh's comments of "you need to get that boy under control" irritates me and doesn't help.<br>
My main thing is ds's attitude toward his brother. With his friends he treats them fine, but with his brother he will hit, push, knock over, kick, yell etc at him. If he's mad at us he does the same and screaming. I've tried time outs and explaining that he should feel sad for hitting and hurting his brother and that's why he's on a time out. But that isn't working. It doesn't help that they can play nicely, but I think he just gets over excited and will start playing rough with him.<br>
He also does this regression thing and will follow Brady around and behave like a 1yr old.<br>
Yesterday I was talking to a relative (who has no kids) and I had to put him on a time out. She said that I need to get control of him hurting his brother and punish him as soon as he does something wrong and punish him severly-even if that means smacking and she knows I'm against spanking. That there is no reasoning with a 3yr old. I was really taken aback by her comments.<br>
Now when I talk to other moms, like 90% of them tell me thier 3yr olds behave the same way toward thier siblings. So I feel better, but at the same time super frustrated on how to teach Brandon to not do this to his brother. I mean, he can go on a time out and hurt his brother 10 minutes after the time out. Grrrr. He's teaching me a whole new meaning of patience, but some days it's super trying.
 

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We go through the same thing with my friends son when they come over to play with ds, other guy is 3 and man I hope we dont have to go through all that with ds. The thing that I notice is that he doesnt mean to be rough or mean, he's just... stronger than he ever was before and can do all these new things and doesnt realize he's hurting. I am taking classes on disciplining (willingly, I didnt do anything wrong <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> ) and what I would do is every time he does something wrong, get on his level make him stop and look at you and say" you are not supposed to hit, push, etc because it hurts. The next time you do it you get a time out. " and the very next time he does it put him in time out. and if he has to spend all day in time out, thats what I would do. and eventually he'll realize if he does it there will be consequences, and that hedoesnt like those consequences so he better stop if he wants to be abl eto play.<br><br>
Also, maybe he is mad at his brother because he doesnt mean to hurt him but he keeps getting in trouble because "you keep crying when I do that!" hehe, so maybe it would help to let him know that you realize he doesntmean to hurt his brother and that you are not mad, but that he does have to learn.<br><br>
Hope this is helpful
 

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<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.co.uk%2FSiblings-Without-Rivalry-Children-Together%2Fdp%2F1853406309" target="_blank">Siblings Without Rivalry</a> - A great book!
 

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I find that age three has been very trying. I am at my wits end most days. I really try to be patient, and try to understand why she does things, and reinforce the positive etc. etc. Luckily DH is very understanding and 'with' me on how to handle her. Throw in some 3 yr old drama and I'm telling you it's really hard. I don't know any great advice, however speaking with other parents of three yr olds they are all going through the same things. I hear age 4 is better <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>ann_of_loxley</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/12364985"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.co.uk%2FSiblings-Without-Rivalry-Children-Together%2Fdp%2F1853406309" target="_blank">Siblings Without Rivalry</a> - A great book!</div>
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Thanks, I just ordered it online! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/notes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="notes">:
 

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My kids are close in ages to yours and we have had similar issues. I try to remember that at 3 dd has very little "impusle control" and probably doesn't really want to hurt her brother. She is just faced with so many frustrating situations throughout the day when ds takes her things, monopolizes my time, knocks down her towers, etc. I try and give her tools to make better decisions in that split second between him provoking her and her lashing out. For example when he takes a toy she often grabs it back and pulls hard, which sometimes hurts him or topples him over. Every time this happens I remind her to first take a deep breath and then (politely) ask for the thing back (he complies a surprising number of times). If that doesn't work she needs to ask for help. I think I've been over this scenario about a hundred times this week.
 
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