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Hello!<br><br>
I'm hoping to find other kids out there that are like mine. More to the point, I want to find parents who understand kids like this and can empathize. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br><br>
DD, who is 3.5 years old, has been having persistent problems with social interactions at his play-based preschool. He adores his friends and teachers - he gets all huggy and affectionate with them, and they love him - but he just doesn't seem to "get it" in group play. He doesn't do fantasy play; he doesn't do joint attention; he doesn't (or can't) say what he's thinking. He's an introvert who withdraws when the social stimulation gets to be too much. He also has some odd and repetitive play behaviors.<br><br>
Long story short, he was evaluated a few weeks ago, and came out with a diagnosis of PDD-NOS.<br><br>
In that same diagnosis, they put him through WPPSI-III and K-SEALS testing. He scored high on the WPPSI, though not extraordinarily so, topping out at 125. But on the K-SEALS, which measures academic skills - letters, numbers, vocab, etc. - he came out as "upper extreme" (99th percentile) on nearly every measure.<br><br>
No surprise. The kid's been reading and writing since he was 2, and he fluently reads books that have Lexile scores of 500+. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> He counts, skip-counts, tells time on analog clocks, and has a rudimentary understanding of addition and multiplication. He knows the states and their capitals by heart (his choice!), and puts together geography jigsaw puzzles with no problem. He recognizes at least 30 car models. He gleefully memorizes complicated songs from "Sound of Music" and sings them for everyone's entertainment. You haven't lived until you've heard a 3-year-old yodeling "The Lonely Goatherd," complete with arpeggios at the end. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy"><br><br>
So, WPPSI aside, I have a hunch that he's gifted.<br><br>
And while I don't necessarily think the PDD-NOS or ASD or 2E label is important in a cosmic sense, he would clearly be happier if he could play better with the friends that he loves so much. Label or no, therapy could be useful for him.<br><br>
Our issue now is what to do to help him. He'll be evaluated by the state for an IEP. What if he doesn't qualify for state services? Should we pull him from his mainstream classroom? Or hire our own aide or therapist to help him there? (The teachers know they're not giving him the level of help he needs, so our current situation isn't tenable.)<br><br>
In the longer run, we don't know what school to put him in. Our town's public schools are pretty dreadful for gifted kids, and getting worse. We've ruled out Waldorf. Montessori? Catholic? Progressive/constructivist? Homeschool coop? There's also a new gifted magnet school opening in the Boston metro north area (ANOVA), but they haven't even started classes yet, so I don't know how they'll handle kids like this.<br><br>
Thanks for reading this far!
 

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I don't know what you should do. I can tell you what we did with our 2E son. (And I expect other people will come along in a bit and tell you what solutions they've found worked with their kids.)<br><br>
My son is 7.5 now and has mixed expressive receptive language disorder. He was a very early early reader and advanced in math. He also has a late birthday. By the time he turned 5, he was through our school district's pre-k, kindergarten and first grade curriculum, and he still couldn't start kindergarten for another year. At the same time, he was delayed by about a year in listening and speaking.<br><br>
We weren't happy with our public school options. Our school district has no gifted program for kids before 4th grade. It's special education program doesn't have a good reputation. The school district itself is pretty rigid about classroom placements. There was some question about whether the special education department would serve him because the delay wasn't affecting his classroom work.<br><br>
We decided to place Son #1 in a Montessori primary classroom. This allowed him to work both up a level or two (when it was appropriate) and down a level or two (when it was appropriate). We are also paying for private speech therapy.<br><br>
He's doing very well with this. He did one year in the primary classroom and then they grade-skipped him into the lower elementary classroom. (It's not that much of a skip because he has an October birthday, but he still went to first grade before he was supposed to go.) Our Montessori school has had plenty of special needs kids and it works out fine.<br><br>
If you're looking for a learning based preschool, it's a very good option.<br><br>
Montessori curriculum traditionally works with the development of the whole child, so a good school shouldn't have a problem with a child who needs more work on social skills. Social skills work is built in.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>DeeplyRooted</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15415257"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Long story short, he was evaluated a few weeks ago, and came out with a diagnosis of PDD-NOS.<br>
....<br>
He'll be evaluated by the state for an IEP. What if he doesn't qualify for state services?</div>
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He has a medical dx of autism, so he qualifies for an IEP. Unless there is any question about his dx, he qualifies.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Should we pull him from his mainstream classroom? Or hire our own aide or therapist to help him there? (The teachers know they're not giving him the level of help he needs, so our current situation isn't tenable.)</td>
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The general view is that if a child be accommodated in a situation with neuro typical kids, then that's what's best. If he is in a state run program (the preschool equavalent to public school) then the state needs to pay for an aid for him or provide an alternate environment that is better suited to his needs.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">In the longer run, we don't know what school to put him in. Our town's public schools are pretty dreadful for gifted kids, and getting worse. We've ruled out Waldorf. Montessori? Catholic? Progressive/constructivist?</td>
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Many private schools don't have any accommodations for special needs kids. There may be great options for him through your public school system that you don't know anything about right now -- special classroom, different building, etc. Keep going through channels and see what comes up.
 

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The Goatherd singing sounds awesome.<br><br>
The IQ testing may be an underestimate. It is really a not predictable thing to test any kid that young, kids on the spectrum even more so. My suggestion would be to focus what attention you can on getting him help with the individual areas where he needs more help. Look into what services you can get from your insurance. Read a lot and figure out what you can do at home. Stanley Greenspan's Floortime approach is awesome and easily implemented at home without a lot of time or money.<br><br>
And, most of all, support his gifts. It is an unfortunate, and common situation, that giftedness gets set aside in the effort to fix deficits. The fact that your kid has found stuff like Sound of Music and reading that make him happy is huge. Protect that.
 

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My best friend's son has autism, and is also "gifted". When his mother was looking for answers about why he experienced the delays that he did, he was given an IQ test (not sure which one) by a school psychologist in their district. They gave this child, who was 3 at the time, a verbal IQ test, when in fact his expressive language was his greatest delay. That day they told my friend that her son was MR with an IQ of 60. She came to me sobbing, whereupon I told her they were idiots. It was obvious to me that he had autism, but it wasn't my place to make that diagnosis. Moreover, it was obvious that he didn't have an IQ of 60. The child was several years advanced in "academic" areas. He would memorize license plates that belonged to people. He could see someone get out of their car once, then see that same person months later and rattle off their license plate. He has a gift for letters and numbers, and an obsession with it to boot. He eventually got a proper dx (that my friend had to pay for at a private psychologist who understood children with language delay) and entered the special ed preschool program in their district. My friend continued to take him for therapy several days a week at a private therapy place, in addition to what the school district offered him. He is now in the first grade and thriving in their gifted program and not in any more special ed classes.<br><br>
Not being in your situation, it's hard to tell you what I'd do. I do tend to think that a good Montessori program would allow him to work ahead where appropriate, and behind where appropriate. My own son is in a Montessori school, and I love that it has allowed him to work at his own pace according to his interests, and not forced him to learn specific things arbitrarily based on his birthdate.
 

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My son has PDD-NOS/ High Functioning Autism (depending on who writes the report) and is possibly gifted. He is definately academically advanced. At this point we (and the school) feel that it is not possible to get an accurate IQ assessment of him.<br><br>
My son has hyperlexia as a feature of his autism. This is a langauage processing disorder that combines early reading and difficulties with verbal language. Some kids have speech/language delays in the early years, while for other kids the language issues show up later when there is a problem with pragmatics (the social use of language). In my son's case, he started reading just after his 2nd birthday, but didn't talk until he was almost 3. He has always understood what he reads better than what he hears. So since he was very young we used white boards, cue cards, and post it notes to communicate with him. He is now 6 and speaks well, but has pragmatic language difficulties.<br><br>
Many kids with hyperlexia are also talented in math. My son definately is. He loves arithmetic and geometry. When his class did a unit on shapes in preschool, he told his teacher that his favorite shape is a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhombicuboctahedron" target="_blank">rhombicuboctahedron</a>. He even spelled it for her so she could look it up. Currently, my son loves roman numerals.<br><br>
Although DS is academically advanced, he was a lot of social difficulties, language (auditory) processing impairment, motor skills delays, and sensory issues. For these reasons he is placed in a K-2 autism classroom, where all the children are high-fuctioning. He has thrived in this placement. DS is in Kindergarten, but does a mix of Kindy, 1st grade, and 2nd grade work. His cirriculum is very individualized to match both his strengths and his weaknesses. His teacher is absolutely amazing. She is familiar with the hyperlexic learning style and kids who are very uneven in their development. She totally "gets" my kid. His therapists (ST, OT, and APE) are also wonderful and truly enjoy working with him. We feel very lucky to have such a great school program and staff.<br><br>
Children on the autism spectrum vary so much that there is no one right education approach. Kids who are high-functioning in one area can still be severely impaired in another. Therefore, it is very important to have a complete understanding of the child's strengths and weaknesses and to find (or create) a program that will take both into account.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Lollybrat</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15417741"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">At this point we (and the school) feel that it is not possible to get an accurate IQ assessment of him.</div>
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This is such a great point. It's hard to get an accurate IQ of a person with autism, and it's hard to get an accurate IQ of a young child. You put both those things together, and you just kinda need to let go of the IQ question.<br><br>
My Dd is 13 and I feel like we have a fairly accurate IQ now, but I doubt it's perfect (even though it was done by the best person in our area).<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">For these reasons he is placed in a K-2 autism classroom, where all the children are high-fuctioning. He has thrived in this placement. DS is in Kindergarten, but does a mix of Kindy, 1st grade, and 2nd grade work. His cirriculum is very individualized to match both his strengths and his weaknesses. His teacher is absolutely amazing.</td>
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I'm glad you put this in! So many parents are concerned that if their child is in special ed, they won't be allowed to reach their potential. The reality is sometimes the opposite.<br><br>
My DD has one period a day of special ed and it is the bridge that allows her to be successful in all her other classes. Communication is a HUGE issue for her, and the special ed teacher gets that and helps her with all communication issues with her other teachers.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">it is very important to have a complete understanding of the child's strengths and weaknesses and to find (or create) a program that will take both into account.</td>
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Agreed.
 

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My DD has a PDD NOS dx. She is 4.5 and on an IEP fo PT and OT. But she also has gross motor delays. She is in PreK and most likly will do K next Fall depending on where we live.<br><br>
She was an early reader and is now at 2nd or early 3rd<br>
for independent reading, although it is complex picture books or early chapter. She struggles with social cues and has some self stim behaviors. She IS very very verbal. Currently her teacher is great and she is able to work at her level academically , while functioning at a lower social level.<br><br>
As PP stated IQ at this age is very variable, add special needs and itis not accurate.DDs IQ test was stopped when she hit 'average' since she was not terribly cooperative, the school thinks she is HG or MG.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Thanks, everyone! I'm not hugely attached to the IQ thing, actually - I don't particularly care about those numbers for their own sake. What I do care about is: (1) making sure that the people who need to understand him (therapists, teachers, doctors) know that giftedness is part of who he is, and (2) whether he can qualify for the new school opening up next year for gifted kids. The scores can help with both of those. That's really the extent of it!<br><br>
Anyway. Lollybrat, you mentioned hyperlexia. We asked the clinician who did the evaluation if that was part of what was going on with him, and she kind of deferred the question. She said that hyperlexia wasn't well-defined clinically, and it wasn't in the DSM. But it was clear that he was a super-early reader, and that his comprehension and speaking ability lagged his decoding ability by quite a bit. I just don't think she found it a particularly useful diagnosis, that's all.<br><br>
(Can a dx of "hyperlexia" be useful, in the sense of being predictive? Or is it useful in devising approaches to treatment and therapy, or a more general educational approach? I honestly don't know, and I would love to hear answers to those questions.)
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Lollybrat</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15417741"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">For these reasons he is placed in a K-2 autism classroom, where all the children are high-fuctioning. He has thrived in this placement. DS is in Kindergarten, but does a mix of Kindy, 1st grade, and 2nd grade work. His cirriculum is very individualized to match both his strengths and his weaknesses. His teacher is absolutely amazing. She is familiar with the hyperlexic learning style and kids who are very uneven in their development. She totally "gets" my kid. His therapists (ST, OT, and APE) are also wonderful and truly enjoy working with him. We feel very lucky to have such a great school program and staff.</div>
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I want to thank you for mentioning this, too. DH and I have probably been unfairly dismissive of our public school system's integrated special-ed preschool and kindergarten, especially since we've been so spoiled by our fantastic private preschool. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> But our son loves it there, and the entire staff knows and loves him too. The director and teachers have had our backs through this whole process, and they're committed to helping our family through it, even if it means having an outside aide in the classroom while DS is there! (They've done that with other special needs children.) Also, they know how to navigate the public school's SPED system, and they'll advocate for us whenever they can.<br><br>
So I don't think we'll switch him into an integrated classroom at this point. I don't think he'd handle the transition well anyhow, especially since the kindergarten transition isn't too far away.<br><br>
But the public school can provide other resources, too. There's a social pragmatics class that we'll be looking into (if they ever call me back!), for instance. First, they need to do their own evaluation, but they're dragging their feet. At this rate, it's possible that nothing will happen with the public school system until the fall. Which doesn't help us. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>DeeplyRooted</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15418894"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I want to thank you for mentioning this, too. DH and I have probably been unfairly dismissive of our public school system's integrated special-ed preschool and kindergarten</div>
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if his current placement is working well, then that's GREAT. Things change over time -- he'll change and all the options will change. I think it's important to stay open minded for the future. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><br><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">There's a social pragmatics class that we'll be looking into (if they ever call me back!), for instance. First, they need to do their own evaluation, but they're dragging their feet. At this rate, it's possible that nothing will happen with the public school system until the fall. Which doesn't help us. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked"></td>
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The fall will come, and what issues you'll have raising your child aren't going to go away in a few months. Some of this stuff moves VERY slowly. Patience is a good thing. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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The hyperlexia dx is variable, it totally depends on who you are working with. From a teaching stand point, a teacher can use it to help stdents understand routines and directions. It also can help bridge a gap between social situations and academic environments.<br><br>
Yet as PP stated, many districts do not use it as a diagnosis since it is not in the DSM. It also usually has a co,dx of language delay.<br><br>
Does your DS get speech? Many SPLs work with hyperlexia.<br><br>
Sounds like you have a great school now.. I would use all the resources they have available for transitioning to K<br><br>
Have they mentioned a 504? If he is academically OK, many school use them for non_academic special needs..<br><br>
As for IQ, a gifted school often has a cit off score, call and find if you are looking at that route. They may retest him as well.<br><br>
Iwould also get on the local school system if you have requested an evaluatio, they legally have X amount of days to comply.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>KCMichigan</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15420017"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Iwould also get on the local school system if you have requested an evaluatio, they legally have X amount of days to comply.</div>
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you need to make the request in writing. You must write a dated letter on real paper.<br><br>
Calling doesn't count, and I wouldn't do this with email either. If you are having issues with thes school, send it in which a way that you get a signed reciept proving when the letter was delivered.
 

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Your son reminds me a little bit of mine at that age. He wasnt into fantasy play at all, withdrew if there were too many people, or went hyperactive. He goes off into his own world for long periods, lining up cars etc. He was advanced in many areas(good with memorizing symbols/numbers) He's an extravert though, so he will play with kids, just not the fantasy play.<br><br>
I think this year, he has started to do more fantasy play, but it was a long time coming.<br><br><br>
Sorry if this post isnt of much help, but some of those characteristics you mentioned remind me of my son. :)
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Linda on the move</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15420241"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">you need to make the request in writing. You must write a dated letter on real paper.<br><br>
Calling doesn't count, and I wouldn't do this with email either. If you are having issues with thes school, send it in which a way that you get a signed reciept proving when the letter was delivered.</div>
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Thank you. I'll be dropping off a copy of his private evaluation tomorrow, and while I'm there, I'll ask for whatever forms need to be done to officially request a school evaluation. The guy there told me on the phone that the 30-day countdown starts when they get a signed something from me (not clear to me exactly what). Maybe I can fill it out and sign it on the spot.<br><br>
Of course, the 30-day countdown is of school days, so we're already pushing it into the fall. Darn it.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>DeeplyRooted</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15420708"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Thank you. I'll be dropping off a copy of his private evaluation tomorrow, and while I'm there, I'll ask for whatever forms need to be done to officially request a school evaluation. The guy there told me on the phone that the 30-day countdown starts when they get a signed something from me (not clear to me exactly what). Maybe I can fill it out and sign it on the spot.<br><br>
Of course, the 30-day countdown is of school days, so we're already pushing it into the fall. Darn it.</div>
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no forms here -- just a letter, a signed letter.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>DeeplyRooted</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15418855"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Anyway. Lollybrat, you mentioned hyperlexia. We asked the clinician who did the evaluation if that was part of what was going on with him, and she kind of deferred the question. She said that hyperlexia wasn't well-defined clinically, and it wasn't in the DSM. But it was clear that he was a super-early reader, and that his comprehension and speaking ability lagged his decoding ability by quite a bit. I just don't think she found it a particularly useful diagnosis, that's all.<br><br>
(Can a dx of "hyperlexia" be useful, in the sense of being predictive? Or is it useful in devising approaches to treatment and therapy, or a more general educational approach? I honestly don't know, and I would love to hear answers to those questions.)</div>
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Your clinician is correct that hyperlexia is not in the DSM (and therefore is not an official dx) and is not well-defined by some professionals. However, parents and experienced teachers seem to able to define it very well!<br><br>
In my experience, hyperlexia can be a very useful description. Understanding hyperlexia gives DH and me additional insight into our son thinks and perceives the world. Kids with hyperlexia often have a distinct learning style, so knowing and understanding this has been a great help both in the educational setting and in everyday life. Understanding hyperlexia completely changed how we communicate with our son and gave us the tools to help teach him how to communicate more effectively with us.<br><br>
There are a couple of great books written by parents about hyperlexia as well as a wonderful yahoo group. Additionally, there have been several scientific studies about hyperlexia. One is a fMRI study which supports the idea that kids with hyperlexia are hardwired differently and their brains really do process the written word differently than their non-hyperelxic peers. It's truly amazing!<br><br>
It's a real shame that some clinicians do not understand hyperlexia.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Lollybrat</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15421506"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">In my experience, hyperlexia can be a very useful description. Understanding hyperlexia gives DH and me additional insight into our son thinks and perceives the world. Kids with hyperlexia often have a distinct learning style, so knowing and understanding this has been a great help both in the educational setting and in everyday life. Understanding hyperlexia completely changed how we communicate with our son and gave us the tools to help teach him how to communicate more effectively with us.</div>
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Ah, now this is useful! What is this distinct learning style? Could you tell me more, or point me to some other threads where this is discussed in more detail?<br><br>
It took me a long time, but I finally clued into the fact that written lists and instructions can really help my DS. Potty learning has been a long struggle for us, but when I wrote down a detailed 12-step list of super specific instructions - like "Put potty seat on toilet" and "Pull down underwear" - it was like a light bulb went on over his head! He's much better at the whole process now.<br><br>
Likewise, he has a lot of trouble verbalizing anything when he's in the throes of big feelings. I mean, he's 3, so that's to be expected. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> But one day I filled a paper with written statements like "I am angry" and "It's too noisy" and "I need a hug." I take it out when he melts down in public - reading it helps him focus, relax, and get centered. He picks out the statements that reflect how he's feeling, and then we can talk about that and decide together what to do about it.<br><br>
Since written words calm him down so effectively, I also carry a small book around with me everywhere. When he's bored or starting to get into a miserable state, and we can't solve the underlying problem, I pull it out for him and he's happy.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Lollybrat</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15421506"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">There are a couple of great books written by parents about hyperlexia as well as a wonderful yahoo group. Additionally, there have been several scientific studies about hyperlexia. One is a fMRI study which supports the idea that kids with hyperlexia are hardwired differently and their brains really do process the written word differently than their non-hyperelxic peers. It's truly amazing!</div>
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Interesting indeed! Do you have links to the studies and the Yahoo! group?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Linda on the move</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15415726"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">He has a medical dx of autism, so he qualifies for an IEP. Unless there is any question about his dx, he qualifies.<br><br>
The general view is that if a child be accommodated in a situation with neuro typical kids, then that's what's best. If he is in a state run program (the preschool equavalent to public school) then the state needs to pay for an aid for him or provide an alternate environment that is better suited to his needs.<br><br>
Many private schools don't have any accommodations for special needs kids. There may be great options for him through your public school system that you don't know anything about right now -- special classroom, different building, etc. Keep going through channels and see what comes up.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that"><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Linda on the move</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15420241"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">you need to make the request in writing. You must write a dated letter on real paper.<br><br>
Calling doesn't count, and I wouldn't do this with email either. If you are having issues with thes school, send it in which a way that you get a signed reciept proving when the letter was delivered.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that"><br><br>
My son was also very similar to yours at that age--and I was like "Duh, of course he aced the recall tests: he's been reading and therefore memorizing for a year already" (because, ya know--if he reads it once, it's memorized <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">)<br><br>
The district offered him an integrated classroom program plus OT & ST (for auditory processing problems). I opted to keep him home and take him to the school for his therapies. For us, he had already been in schools and not done well there socially. I was concerned about how this would affect his mental health long-term. He clearly knew he was the "problem child". During his pre-k year, I kept him home.<br><br>
He continued to get therapies through the district, but at home, I could oversee his social development. I could model social behavior for him. I could see his social interactions and although I didn't intervene (well, once when he was going to get popped by an 8yo <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">) I always knew what transpired. I could talk to him about it while it was fresh in his mind. I could walk him through his feelings and the "how could we do it differently"s and the "what would you want someone to do if you were him/her"s. I didn't have to wait hours later and try to address it when my son could probably not remember it based on whatever facts the teacher managed to catch of the situation combined with my son's emotionally-tainted (or memory-tainted) recollection of the event.<br><br>
It's 2-1/2 years later and he has grown socially by leaps and bounds. He's a different kid. I'm really glad I kept him home. We've opted to homeschool longer-term for other reasons, but he's currently (temporarily) at a daycare center that has a Kindy program and I don't have to worry about him in the classroom because he's really ready for it now. He's not the problem kid or the antisocial kid anymore. He's just like the other kids.<br><br>
I feel really strongly about the fact that there's no way that could've happened if he'd been in a classroom program for the last two years. I also feel very strongly that at this point, he COULD BE in a classroom if we went that route. So in my eyes, it was 2 years of keeping him home that made the classroom an option for us if we wanted it instead of a problem.<br><br>
That's my kid. And I made it a point to spend the first of those two years getting him very involved in multiple activities where he was under the direction of someone else, but where I could be involved as needed and/or it was only for short periods of time (30mins-1hr or so). There were times where I DID step in and redirect him if it was a problem with him following directions in a class setting and he was problematic to the point where he may need to leave the class; but I never intervened on social interactions between him and other kids.<br><br>
I just think that my ability to be there so much and help him through it was like intensive social skills therapy that got him to where he needed to be a lot quicker than being in a class of 8+ kids with a teacher and an aide (who has all of a high school diploma and maybe a few hours of training).
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>DeeplyRooted</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15421709"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">It took me a long time, but I finally clued into the fact that written lists and instructions can really help my DS. Potty learning has been a long struggle for us, but when I wrote down a detailed 12-step list of super specific instructions - like "Put potty seat on toilet" and "Pull down underwear" - it was like a light bulb went on over his head! He's much better at the whole process now.</div>
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I know exactly what you mean. DS wanted to potty learn, but couldn't figure it out. Finally we simply gave DS the book and let him read what he was supposed to do. After that it clicked for him and things took off. Even so, PL was a process rather than an event, so we did a lot of scheduled potty times and knew there would be lots of extra laundry for quite a while.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Likewise, he has a lot of trouble verbalizing anything when he's in the throes of big feelings. I mean, he's 3, so that's to be expected. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> But one day I filled a paper with written statements like "I am angry" and "It's too noisy" and "I need a hug." I take it out when he melts down in public - reading it helps him focus, relax, and get centered. He picks out the statements that reflect how he's feeling, and then we can talk about that and decide together what to do about it.</td>
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Yup. This is part of what we do to. When my son was that age I would carry a stack of index cards, different colored sharpies, a hole punch, and key rings. With these tools I could quickly create little flip books to give him directions on how to behave in a certain situation, provide conversational cues, help him identify his feelings/needs/wants, etc. I have stacks of these little color-coded books we have created for different situations: church, playgroup, stores, car, etc. Now that DS is older, he likes to write the statements himself. Sometimes I help him decide what to write, other times he comes up with own statements. This really helps him process the situation and gives him a sense of control.<br><br>
Social stories are another great tool and there is lots of info available online on how to write your own.<br><br>
We also use written directions, checklists, and itineraries to help DS know what comes next. He uses a checklist at school too and his teacher says it really helps him stay on track. These things are also building his sense of independence.<br><br>
Here are a couple of helpful books about hyperlexia:<br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FWhen-Babies-Read-Hyperlexia-High-Functioning%2Fdp%2F1843108038%2Fref%3Dsr_1_1%3Fie%3DUTF8%26s%3Dbooks%26qid%3D1274359023%26sr%3D1-1" target="_blank">When Babies Read</a><br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FReading-Too-Soon-Understand-Hyperlexic%2Fdp%2F0963792105%2Fref%3Dsr_1_1%3Fie%3DUTF8%26s%3Dbooks%26qid%3D1274359100%26sr%3D1-1" target="_blank">Reading Too Soon</a><br><br>
The first one has a lot of great strategies for day to day living, and how to teach your child the things that other kids just seem to pick up naturally. The second one has some really good insights on understanding the hyperlexic learning style (although I hate the title).<br><br>
Hyperlexia is a wonderful gift and a powerful teaching tool. For my son, the wtitten word is truly his native language and learning verbal language is like an adult studying a difficult foreign language. Understanding this simple fact has been a key factor in our daily lives.<br><br>
I'll send you a PM with a link to the Yahoo group.
 
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