[iris0110]

My 5yr old has a PDD NOS diagnosis along with speech delay and SPD. And he is just the most amazingly bright and loving child in the world. But day to day life can be kind of tough. I feel badly for him because he struggles. We have done Speech, OT, and recently added riding therapy. He has been in therapy since he was 2. It has never actually done anything for him (except the riding therapy which in just a few months has made a marked improvement in his confidence). He is now seeing a DAN! Dr. and has been improving rapidly. We are very grateful. But he still can't interact totally normally with other children. Like a PP mentioned you can't have a conversation with him like other kids his age. He doesn't ask all of the why questions and he doesn't understand things in a social context. He isn't potty trained yet because even though he knows when he has to go and the mechanics of using the toilet he can't understand why it is preferable to using a diaper. The nice thing though is that he doesn't lie. He doesn't understand the social pull for it, or tattling. He is also fairly patient for a child his age.

As for spoiling. I guess it is because he is the oldest and our youngest is very high needs, right now ds1 is far from being spoiled. I just posted about how I feel like I am neglecting him alot lately. But yes I do think I am pulled towards spoiling him. Like you said I have wanted to run away with him to a nice peaceful place and just let him be. We would have such a great time. Especially after a really bad OT appt. But I know this is what he needs. He has to learn to function in the world if he is going to have a normal life. And I worry about what would happen to him after Dh and I were gone if he couldn't. But it would be soooo nice to not put him through all of this. In fact, one of the reasons we decided to have another child (other than jsut really wanting another child) was because I was afraid I was getting way to involved with ds1. I was afraid that because of him being an only child, and having special needs I would get too wrapped up in taking care of him and he wouldn't be able to learn to separate and fend for himself. I didn't want my involvement with him to become too stifling for either of us.

 

[iris0110]

It is such a hard thing to have your child diagnosed. You want answers, but you don't want these to be the answers. I went through a greiving process with it all, not at all unlike greiving when I lost my daughter. We refused to allow them to label him for several years. I didn't want him to have that stigma attached so we left it at speech delay and SPD, things without much stigma if any. But we had a hard time getting the insurance to pay for therapy after ECI ran out at 3 so eventually we went ahead and accepted his diagnosis as a way to get him the therapy and extra support he needed. I wish I had stopped being so stubborn several years ago, he would be alot further along now if I had. But you have to do what is right for your child and your family and at the time I really thought I was protecting him. I thought things would get better, and they just didn't.

For Therapy Kearnan does 45 minutes of feeding therapy, 45 minutes of OT, 1hr of speech at the school and 45minutes of riding therapy a week. He is supposed to get another day of feeding and OT as soon as they can get him worked into the scheduel. The OT and feeding have helped some, and the riding therapy really is a great blessing. The speech does nothing at all but he likes his teacher and it gets him out of the house for a bit. Before Tharen came along I did alot of work at home with him, but I will admit that we haven't been doing as much lately.

Since I finally admited to myself that he is different we were able to apply for SSI and medically needy insurace which covers his therapy and the bills to take him to a DAN! Dr and buy his supplements which we couldn't afford before. I have also found it easier to admit to others what is going on. Our family always knew (though I don't think most of them really understand what it means) but now when people ask I don't blink about telling them that he is Autistic. Sometimes when I see people giving him dirty looks or hear their snide comments I turn around and say "He's autistic, What's your excuse?" It has actually been a freeing experience for me at least. I don't know about dh, he still doesn't use the label much.