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Ped search

361 Views 6 Replies 7 Participants Last post by  lyttlewon
The search is on, and over, I hope, for a pediatrician for the babe-to-be. Based solely on the internet.
: This one guy comes HIGHLY recommended by several MDC mamas, and you know it's a major miracle to get us to agree on anything.
More important, he takes our insurance. And he has 2 offices, one near where we are now and one near where we might move. Here's the weirdness: we won't know the gender of our babe until the birth (must be lined up before you are discharged from the hospita pursuant to state law), and he's a man in a solo practice. No female partner. I have a gut feeling that if I have a daughter, she should have a female ped (and, to a lesser extent, that a son should have a male ped).

As a child, I went to a practice with one female doctor whom my mother refused to use, only the male doctors, but she got creeped out about it (the gender thing) when I was 9 and switched me to a new practice with a good female doctor. As it turns out, one of the "good" male doctors in the original practice later (like when my brother and I were adults) pleaded no contest to sexually abusing male patients, 89 of whom came forward. So...I realize that my gender matching intuition is not supported by the evidence, but I still feel it. (I myself would have to be darn desperate to go to a male doctor for anything more personal than dentistry...or anything not requiring some super-rare which case I would go to whomever I needed to go to.) Anyone care to share their feelings about this?
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Honestly, if your motivation is to avoid child sex abuse, you'd be best off with a female doctor for a child of either gender. Not that women don't ever abuse children ... but it's a lot less common.

By the time they're around puberty, I think most kids would prefer a doctor of their own gender for modesty reasons. I definitely would never see a male doctor for anything that required me to get naked! It just feels weird.

(Btw, really weird was when my ectopic was diagnosed ... a male u/s tech using the vaginal ultrasound on me, and since it was a Sunday, he'd been called in to work and was still in T-shirt and jeans. That was odd.)
I think you should feel confident in your choice for now, regardless of the sex. When they are infants is when you need support for your choices most, I believe. It's when vaxes, breastfeeding, the whole nine yards comes up--very intense time! Esp. if you're seeing the doc regularly. Let your child and your intuition decide what's best for later on.

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My kids go to a male ped, there is a female ped in the practice though (there are 2 peds and a nurse practitioner in the practice) that my daughter can switch to if she chooses so in the future.

Important for me when choosing a ped was...

Their feelings on breastfeeding in general and specifically on extended breastfeeding.

Their feelings on co-sleeping, no-CIO, gentle discipline, etc.

Their feelings on selective/delayed/no vaccines

I was happy with all their answers (the female ped in the office nursed her oldest till he was 4, I'm not sure about her youngest, both had co-slept, they do NOT support cio or spanking, and they are perfectly happy to let us not vaccinate).

We didn't ask about circ cause by the time we picked a ped we knew we were having a girl. But, we are happy with their stance on that now that we have a boy as well.

I however live in a pretty liberal area...when I asked my peri before we knew DD was a girl his thoughts on circumcision it was "it's completely unecisarry and I'd never do it for my son" which was good enough for us to decide we wouldn't do it...our ped (and his partners) stances were a little more strong than that...I've never been questioned about my son not being circed (we've had him in the ER a lot since he is epileptic), I've never had even a second glance when I say my kids aren't vaxed...I've nursed a 3 year old in the middle of the mall with no rude remarks or faces... So finding a ped in our area was actually quite easy.
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My important things are the same as the pp right before me....

We went with the female ped in the practice with dd but she was pretty pro lets push the formula bc your baby is gaining slowly (yeah, if you go off birth weight and not the discharge) and was pretty hesitant when I suggested pumping as a means to help balance out my supply rather than supplementing so I switched laterally within the practice. Turns out, the ped we switched to, his wife was the LC I had been seeing....he was wonderful with dd and she liked him alot.

We have recently been seeing one of the other male peds in the practice bc our regular one switched his hours and we needed after 5pm appointments if possible and dd loves this one. He has 2 little girls who are there sometimes in his office when mom brings em by to visit and is just wonderful and very supporting. The recently hired a new ped and she is fantastic and very pro everything we originally wanted.....

I didn't go with my gut the first time and did when we switched finally and it worked out far so good...

The practice came recommended by my MW and it happens to be less than 2 miles from the house with saturday hours....How great is that???
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I'm mostly impressed by the fact that you think this might be your child's doctor until they are pre-teen/teenage, PiePie! I had one ped as a kid (in Canada) but I guess my experience with docs since then has been colored by how often I have to change insurance and find my doc is no longer available to me. I just assume this will happen with my kids too. I like the idea that I can at least plan to have one doc...
Since my child is never alone with our doctor I don't worry about the abuse issue. I have had both but currently have a female doctor. Personally I would care more if they would support my medical beliefs, non vax, no circ. You really can't go through life expecting everyone to be a child molestor. My grandfather is a pedophile. You have more to worry about in your own family than a pediatricians office. That is my $.02
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