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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Okay - I've mentioned this before, but I'm getting really frustrated. It seemed to be better for a while - just an occasional lapse - but...ugh.

DS2 has peed on the floor 3 times today - twice on the living room carpet, and once on the lino in the hallway. The first time, I was doing something at the sink (washing a dish for breakfast, I think), and we had the following conversation:

Me: DS2, have you gone potty yet?
DS2: I don't need to and I don't want to.
Me: Sweetie, you always say that, and then you pee on the flo...
DD: Mom - he's peeing.

WTH? I'm losing it. I can't stand having pee on my carpets multiple times in a single day. It's gross and disgusting and we have a ton of other stuff to do around here. I've had to wash towels 3 times today, just from dealing with pee. I end up yelling at him, which isn't helping. I'm just so frustrated by this.

So - any thoughts on why? How to get this to stop? What on earth do I do? I've never dealt with anything like this before, and it really is getting on my last nerve.
 

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Lisa -


this probably explains some of your other housekeeping woes
I hate when my kids just make messes while I'm trying to clean in other areas of the house (like breakfast dishes).

The only thing I can suggest is actually putting him on the potty. like very hour or so and sitting with him until he goes. when I was potty training my older kids, thats how we did it. Trying to prevent accidents or whatever.

hang in there.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by vbactivist View Post
Lisa -


this probably explains some of your other housekeeping woes
I hate when my kids just make messes while I'm trying to clean in other areas of the house (like breakfast dishes).

The only thing I can suggest is actually putting him on the potty. like very hour or so and sitting with him until he goes. when I was potty training my older kids, thats how we did it. Trying to prevent accidents or whatever.

hang in there.
This is definitely part of it. DS2 is a cyclone. Honestly, some days, I just give up before I even start - totally counter-productive, and I know that. After I posted that, I started reading Amelia Bedelia to dd. DS2 didn't want me to read it, and he went tearing through the living room, and dumped the easel (including all the magnet letters and chalk) on the floor. I'm just too tired to keep up with him most days...

I'll do that. This is just so unpredictable. He'll run off to use the potty (actually, the toilet - he never much liked a small potty) himself most days. When we're at homelearning meetups, he'll come ask me to use the bathroom, even though he's busy and there's a lot going on. Then, we have a day like this, completely out of the blue. *sigh*

I know I need to be the grown-up and cope with this, but I just want to curl up in bed.

(In relation to the cooking/cleaning/SAHM thing, at least tonight is quick-and-easy tacos.
)
 

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I think we've chatted about this before. I was having the same issues with my 3 year old. He never 'has to' go. I started making him. If I don't make him, he'll have an accident. He just doesn't think to go on his own, and by the time he does he can't get to the bathroom in time. Rather than pee on himself, he pees on the floor.

We've had a lot of success just making him go and pee, or at least try, every couple of hours. "I don't have to" isn't an option. EVERY time I ask him to try, he pees. Have you tried this?
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
We've done that. I've had him sit on the potty for a few minutes, assure me that he doesn't have and/or can't go - then and get up, walk into the living room and...pee on the carpet. I honestly think he just prefers the carpet for some reason. (Sometimes, he walks in it if I don't get to him in time - maybe this is just some kind of sensory thing?? If it is sensory, I have no idea what else we could do, though...even water on the carpets isn't acceptable.) I'm having a really hard time keeping my cool on this one. I honestly thought he'd quit it for a couple weeks. Then, he started doing it once a day on Mondays (figured it had/has something to do with ds1 going back to school, and dh going back to work) most weeks. Today was unusual.

He's being generally difficult to deal with at the moment, but I can manage to cope with most of it. The peeing just...ack.
 

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Can you try having him stand to pee? That made a big difference with my son. He won't sit to pee, at all, after seeing his big brother and his Dad standing up to pee.

We had a few 'show downs' on the peeing. I waited until I KNEW he had to go, and then sat in their with him until he did. Not fun, for either of us, but once he realized that when I said, "Go to the bathroom and pee" I really meant it, it got a lot easier.

We still have the occasional mishap if I am lax and forget to remind him to go, but otherwise its been pretty smooth sailing.
 

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My DS1 is a month younger then your DS and some days he has accidents and some days he doesn't. I simply request him to use the potty before switching activities. If he has an accident we clean it up together. I feel with time the less of a big deal I make out of it the less he has accidents. If he says no I will say "How about I go with you to the potty, and we can bring what you are playing with" This seems to work for us.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
They're not accidents. I don't know what his motivation is, but he's doing this quite deliberately. I tried being calm for a long time, but it hasn't worked. If I could figure out why he does it, I'd probably get somewhere, but I've made no progress on this.

This is filthy. Having someone peeing on carpets all the time is just disgusting.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
He can stand up to pee - not a problem. He does that sometimes, but not always. I may focus on that for a while, and see if it helps.

I'd actually forgotten when I posted that when he peed on the lino, he was still wearing his pants. We'd been back for a few minutes, and I was trying to get him to take the pants and shoes off (he walked in a fountain while we were out and was soaked to just above the knees). I was still in the middle of putting down library books, putting my keys away, etc. and he said he didn't want to take them off, so I was moving over to take them (because he'd climb all over everything and get everything wet)...and he stopped dead, and peed.

We'll see how tomorrow goes. I'll definitely think about the standing up thing, but he goes in by himself most times, and goes whatever way he wants.
 

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i don't think they are accidents with my son either - I just find I get better results if I TREAT it like an accident


my son is a regular cyclone too (hugs) I know how frustrating it can be


My son will say "Look! I pee on the floor!" and I just say "Oh I see. We'll clean it up." and then we clean it up and I make sure to try to engage him in using the potty more (as mentioned above)...

How it is with my son though, and IDK if you think your son may be the same, but my son I think can pick up on my anxiety and frustration around the issue and then has more accidents. I swear the more I stress about it the more 'accidents' (or on purposes if you will) he has - but the more I treat it like just another run of the mill accident the less pee that ends up on the floor.
 

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I feel your pain! my 3yo DS did something similar for awhile (and occasionally still does). He mostly did it when he wasn't getting his way, even over something seemingly very minor. I tried several things, including having him clean up... the main two that seemed to help 1.) I told him that if he couldn't do a better job with the potty, then he could wear diapers again. He didn't like that idea. and 2.) did my best to ignore it. I realized he was trying to retaliate and/or get attention for it (my DH really made a big deal out of it) once we just ignored it, ds wasn't getting anything out of it anymore. I would quietly get a towel, not say a thing about it, and clean up. It's been getting steadily better since then.
 

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Whenever people do something "wrong" they are doing it because they get something out of it - what does your son gain by peeing on the floor? Your attention? (does it usually happen when you are out of the room or otherwise engaged?)

Does it make everyone focus on him? Does it make him feel in control of the situation?

If what he's getting out of the floor-peeing is attractive enough, he will put up with being yelled at or any other sort of consequence.
 

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I was thinking this same thing - if you think your DS is doing this on purpose then he must be doing it for a reason. Find the reason, then you can find the solution.

The four 'reasons' for 'misbehaviour' that child behaviourists look for are Power, Attention, Revenge and Learned Helplessness.

Is your DS peeing on the floor because this is something he can control, a way of gaining some power in his little world?
Is it a way of gaining attention? Kids who need attention will do some wild tricks to get it, even if its negative attention they attract.
Is he doing it as revenge, a way of getting back at someone or something?
Is it learned helplessness? Has he had a set back on the toilet and now feels he can't make it, so why bother?

If you think he is doing this on purpose then I would find the underlying cause. It might sound counterproductive - but taking the focus off the toilet (as annoying as it is) is probably the best temporary solution. Tell us why you think he does this and we'll see if we can come up with a solution
 

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Another thing I did was ban him from the carpeted rooms until he'd gone pee in the potty first. This was doable for me though because only the bedrooms are carpeted. So if he wanted to go and play in the rooms with his brothers, he had to take a potty break first.

Honestly, I would've resorted to diapers if we wouldn't have made progress on this. We are renting. One of the bedrooms suddenly started smelling like urine so bad I couldn't even go IN there. I doused it with vinegar / water several times and let it dry and the smell is now gone, but I just couldn't let him do that constantly. I made a big deal about it. We had many, many, many talks about it. "Good morning! Did you have a good sleep? Where are you going to go potty today? In the toilet ONLY? Yeah!!! That would be really really big of you!!"
 

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DD went through a phase of "accidents" about a year after potty training. It was SO frustrating.

In her case I think part of it was that she didn't want to leave what she was doing till the very last minute. Other times I feel she was just being stubborn.

In the end we did a sticker chart. She got a sticker each night if she had been dry all day. When we reached the end of the chart (about 14 stickers I think) we took her swimming. I was a bit worried that the one sticker per day thing would mean once she had one accident she would stop trying for the day but it didn't seem to be a problem.

I've heard of people putting a ping pong ball in the toilet for aiming practice. Maybe that would make the toilet more fun
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Greenmama2AJ View Post
The four 'reasons' for 'misbehaviour' that child behaviourists look for are Power, Attention, Revenge and Learned Helplessness.
hmm...don't think it's attention, as it often (not always) happens when I'm paying attention to him, but maybe...could be a delayed reaction of sorts. Revenge is also possible, because he really doesn't like being thwarted. I mean - nobody likes not getting their way, but he really melts down.

I am interested in the fact that he does it on Mondays more than any other day, though. I'm sure it has something to do with dh and ds1 not being home.

Quote:
If you think he is doing this on purpose then I would find the underlying cause. It might sound counterproductive - but taking the focus off the toilet (as annoying as it is) is probably the best temporary solution. Tell us why you think he does this and we'll see if we can come up with a solution
It's hard to pin things down around here. My parenting hasn't been of the highest caliber over the last year or two. I was a total wreck after we lost Aaron, and the exhaustion (probably because I'm anemic) in this pregnancy has been extreme, even for me. So, the kids haven't had as much time and attention as they should have. I tend to just kind of veg a lot...usually on the computer, but sometimes even on the couch. Unfortunately, I can't even cuddle with ds2 that much, because he has an unpleasant habit of hitting/head butting me in the stomach, and it hurts...a lot. So, I have to put him down a lot.
 

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I'm sorry, I cant remember if you mentioned or not, but does your child have any sensory issues?

also, we did ask my son when he started having a ton of acidents if he wanted to go back to diapers. It wasn't in a punitive way though, it was just letting him know he could if he wanted to.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
If he has any sensory issues, we're unaware of it. From what little I've read about this stuff, I don't think so. Aside from a very strong love of water (puddles, baths, going in the pool, pouring, etc., etc.), I haven't noticed anything along those lines. I do think he likes the feel of walking on the warm pee on the carpet, though. *sigh*

So, today, he peed all down the stairs (carpeted), so I told him to get a towel, and I got up to walk over and supervise. When I got there, he had every towel out of the linen closet, and was using one towel per stair to clean it up. I only just got them all folded and put away last night!! (I have to admit it was pretty funny, though.)

And, now both his pairs of shoes are sitting out front to dry in the sun. He peed on his runners yesterday, and today, he got into the drinking water for the goats at the farm, and soaked himself up to mid-thigh - and fouled their water.

I don't know how I'm going to survive 9.5 more weeks of pregnancy with this child!

ETA: He doesn't want to wear diapers again. He loves not having to wear them.
 
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