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Today I was hanging out with a woman and her 14 month old at the cafe. Harvest tried to suck on her sippy cup and I apologised. She was like, "it always happens at the playgroup we go to and I never mind as long as everyones up to date on their shots!" She said it in a lighthearted silly tone and I didnt say anything about our decision not to vax. The conversation shifted to something else.<br>
I wondered how freaked out she would be if I had told her we dont vax. Do some people really freak out about this? I really liked the woman and we exchanged numbers to hang out. I am thinking that I should keep it to myself unless the subject bends that way and it is necessary discussion. Has anyone ever been in a situation like this where they met someone who doesnt want to be around non-vaxers?
 

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I just want to say that Harvest is a beautiful name!<br><br>
I think some people are really freaked out about non-vax'ed kids. There is a lot of mythology about disease and vaccination in pop culture. I wouldn't bring it up though unless, like you said, it needs to be discussed.
 

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I've never encountered this attitude. But I also think that if this woman was someone you liked and want to hang out with, you should do just that. Her ignorance is no reason not to make her your friend, and who knows, you may have a chance to do some gentle mind-changing some day. But yeah, I wouldn't bring it up.
 

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I'm sure there are plenty of parents with that same exact attitude. We lost some friends... One of DH's high school buddies and his wife (who is a cardiologist and whose sister is a Pedi!) had their little boy two days after ours was born. DH told him a few months ago that we weren't vaxing and now they don't answer our calls. I asked DH why he felt inclined to share our son's medical history and he said he didn't know. All well.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>vermontgirl</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7996575"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">She was like, "it always happens at the playgroup we go to and I never mind as long as everyones up to date on their shots!"</div>
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Yes, the up-to-date part is oh so important. Because if your baby is 14 months, she hasn't had a chance to get the MMR, so she's "up to date." Safe! But if she's 16 months and you declined the MMR--not up to date. Don't let her suck on that sippy! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
Oh, and tell her VPDs aren't the only things you can catch from sippy cups. I'd be much more concerned about, I don't know, the common cold?
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>vermontgirl</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7996575"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Today I was hanging out with a woman and her 14 month old at the cafe. Harvest tried to suck on her sippy cup and I apologised. She was like, "it always happens at the playgroup we go to and I never mind as long as everyones up to date on their shots!" She said it in a lighthearted silly tone and I didnt say anything about our decision not to vax. The conversation shifted to something else.<br>
I wondered how freaked out she would be if I had told her we dont vax. Do some people really freak out about this? I really liked the woman and we exchanged numbers to hang out. I am thinking that I should keep it to myself unless the subject bends that way and it is necessary discussion. Has anyone ever been in a situation like this where they met someone who doesnt want to be around non-vaxers?</div>
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What a silly thing for her to say. And I don't think you have the obligation to tell her anything unless your child is ill with something. Your child's vaccination schedule is your business.
 

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BTW, Harvest is such a pretty name!
 

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I don't get it. If her kid is vaxed- and vaxes work *so* well- why would she care if other people's children are up to date on theirs <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug">? Her child is "protected".<br><br>
It seems like she would have more confidence in vaccinations.<br><br>
I'd tell her next time you see them that you don't vax. If she can't take the heat, it's better that you find out now rather than waste time with her.
 

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I wouldn't let a minor detail like that block a friendship if she was appealing otherwise. For one thing, she may have been kidding.<br><br>
A lot of people just don't think, at all, about what shots actually can do and what they can't do, and that remark (if she was serious) is a good example of where not thinking gets you.<br><br>
Shots definitely don't make children disease free!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>InDaPhunk</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7997834"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I don't get it. If her kid is vaxed- and vaxes work *so* well- why would she care if other people's children are up to date on theirs <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug">? Her child is "protected".<br><br>
It seems like she would have more confidence in vaccinations.</div>
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yup
 

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I wouldn't say a thing until her kid has sucked on my kid's sippy cup at least 10 times and then come out with it. But that would be mean, wouldn't it?<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">:<br><br>
Just kidding. Keep it a secret.
 

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My friend's son is in public school and they just found out that a kid there has whooping cough. A vaccinated kid! And my friend says it just goes to show you that even though everyone assumes that we are the ones spreading stuff. Often the outbreaks come from the supposedly fully vax'd kids.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>vermontgirl</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7996575"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">She was like, "it always happens at the playgroup we go to and I never mind as long as everyones up to date on their shots!"</div>
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Either she was joking (any chance?) or she is not doing a good job with it not asking you directly before hanging out with you, if it's of such importance to her <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
But really, could she be joking?
 

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Who are we kidding - she probably wasn't kidding. In fact, I'll bet if the OP said, <i>"Yeah, I feel the same way. I wouldn't want Harvest catching tetanus from an unvaxed child,"</i> this mother would have nodded in agreement.
 
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