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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Why is it okay to say certain things to pregnant women???

My oldest had his last day of kinder gym today. It was only a 9 week session but I hadn't actually talked to any of the other moms. One mom was sitting there when we went in and said "When are you actually due?". I told her in a month and I watched her jaw hit the floor.

Her: "OMG, you are so big! You look like you are having a baby any day now!"
Me: "Yeah, he will probably be a big guy"
Her: "Well you look 10 months pregnant!"
Me: "Mmm hmmm"
Her: "And you look SOOO uncomfortable. Are you uncomfortable?"
Me: "Nope, this is the best I've felt in any of my pregnancies!"
Her: "You're just all belly. You really feel good?"
Me: *trying desperately not to roll my eyes at her* "Yep, I feel great."

WHY??? I dreaded these conversations with both boys because I was so absolutely miserable. And this time I really DO feel great but I'm still in no mood to hear how enormous I am...TYVM.

I have NEVER had a man react the way a woman does. And most of the women who ask already have kids so they have been there, done that. *shakes head*
 

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i know what you mean, but the best thing to do is try to shrug it off.

i've encounterd a couple people like that, and i always just tell them how great i feel and move on. luckily most people that comment are just trying to be nice or helpful.
 

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Right there with ya!

At Costco on Monday, the checker asked me when i was due - I told her one more month, she says, oh, you're having twins, all excited. I tell her, no, just one! Her eyes got all wide - that must be a big baby - do you have big babies? I say, well, my DD was 9 lb. 3 oz., so maybe, but every baby is different.

She continues: I just can't get over how BIG you are!

DH jumps in and says, let's go, the kids are getting restless. So we head out, and of course I think of a smart alec comeback as I'm already gone. I should have said, well, I was having twins, but one died. That would have shut her up.
 

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At this point, I'm equally tired of the ridiculous comments on my size. Yes, I am due any day. Yes, I am miserable. No, I am not having twins. The last person who commented on my size got a look that they won't likely forget soon, and then I asked if she was always so rude to strangers....ya know, when I go to the walgreens for some childrens cold medicine with a little girl with goopy eyes and a 6 year old who would much rather be at home eating lunch on a 95+ degree day, obviously 9 months pg - the comments are just unneccessary....

Feeling for all of you in this boat!
 

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The one that bugs me the most is "Oh, I bet you really want a boy!" WTF? How sexist is that? No, actually, I honestly don't care. And if for some bizarre reason I was forced to chose, I'd chose to have another girl.

When I was pregnant with my daughter (I found out the sex with her) I actually had a couple people say to me "Oh, well that's too bad. Hopefully you'll get a boy next time!"

I mean, wow. How sick is that?
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by MilkOnDemand
At this point, I'm equally tired of the ridiculous comments on my size. Yes, I am due any day. Yes, I am miserable. No, I am not having twins.
ME TOO!!!! LOL

Well I haven't been able to get out of the house lately...I just can't do it...crazy...I am so large and my pelvis is so spread and Jake is so low that it just hurts too much.
 

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I sometimes get the "lashing" of rude onlookers, but I have this "Don't mess with me" expression on my face quite reguarlly lately so many people just look and then look away without wanting to make a comment. But I have had the "you must be having twins" comment often, especially with #2 and #3... strangely I'm not quite as huge with this one as I was with them.
I get the "I guess you are trying for a girl" when I have the three boys in tow. Um..no just trying for a baby...
Donna
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by CherryBomb
The one that bugs me the most is "Oh, I bet you really want a boy!" WTF? How sexist is that? No, actually, I honestly don't care. And if for some bizarre reason I was forced to chose, I'd chose to have another girl.

When I was pregnant with my daughter (I found out the sex with her) I actually had a couple people say to me "Oh, well that's too bad. Hopefully you'll get a boy next time!"

I mean, wow. How sick is that?
This bugs the crap out of me. Do people not realize that they just informed me they think I'm a lesser sex?
:

As for the size comments, I'm getting them too. Here are my coping mechanisms:

1) Don't make eye contact with people -- it only invites them to talk to you.
2) When asked when I'm due, I say, "Not soon enough!" which usually elicits a laugh and no more questions (this is a very successful technique if you just keep walking).
3) If they persist, I say "July" (leaving out that it's at the END of July), and am usually given a hearty, "Oh, not too much longer now!" to which I just smile and nod.

I mean, whatever! And I have gotten some insensitive comments from men, although I agree most of this crap comes from other women. I read a while ago (on this board?) about someone finally snapping back, "And how is Weight Watchers working for you?" which I thought was just pure GENIUS :LOL .

Shana
EDD 7/29/05
 

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Sigh.

Fortunately, I don't get much of those comments this time around. Unfortunately, I'm getting a LOT of touching. Hellooooo STRANGER, get your f'ing hands off my BODY!!!

Today at the hairdresser some total stranger said, "Oh you are so CUTE!!!" and rubbed my belly all over. I kind of jumped and said, "uh!" No clue. Then, just as I was about to tell the hairdresser how I hate when people just reach out and touch me, SHE did it TOO!
 

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This isn't totally related but I just need to vent. This morning I was going to the grocery store and both lanes of traffic were kind of tight. I needed to get over into the other lane to get to the store so I put on my blinker, checked my rear view mirror, waited a few seconds with blinkeron and then pulled into the space in front of the car in the other lane under the belief that he/she was letting me in since I had my blinker on and had waited... and he/she left the space open for me to pull over.

However, then the driver of this car followed me into the parking lot and tailgated me to my parking space. I looked into the rear view mirror to notice this was another woman about my age. The spot I pulled into was designated for "new and expecting mothers" and I'm quite sure this woman watched me get out of the car and waddle into the store.

So, I come out to my car and this woman has taken the time to write me a note and put it on my windshield calling me a "b**ch" and telling me to stay off the raod. My thought is how empty is your life when you take the time to be this rude to other people. Sad.
 

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Sigh.

Last week a friend of mine announced to a group of women in a mommy and me class that she's 8 weeks pg...she also has a 3.5 yr old and a darling 9 month old, and at leat 3 women instantly asked "Was it planned?" in horror.

I mean, COME ON!! It may be early planning for them, but man, is it rude! And she seemed (to me) to be obviously awkward about telling in teh first place.

What do you say to that? "No, I'm just a moron."?!?!?!

I don't even like it when good friends want to touch my belly...but I let them cuz it makes them so happy. But strangers??? NOOOOOOO WAAAAAAY.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Seriously what is the matter with some people?? lol I'm kind of glad it's not just me but I wish it wasn't anyone. :-\

I get the "Oh, are you going to try again for a girl?" comment a lot when we tell people we are having our 3rd boy. I usually reply with "To be honest, we don't want girls. We tried for only boys." *grin* It shuts people up quickly. Coming from a family of 3 girls, I would hate for my boys to get a complex because they weren't the 'right' sex for some people.

Oh, oh...another one... When people say "You're going to have your hands full!". Well duh!! They already ARE full but I wouldn't have it any other way.
 

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Some people *really* do try for a boy or a girl. I have some idiot cousins with too much money apparently, who had his sperm spun or something. Then, she was artificially inseminated to acheive a boy - since they didn't want another girl. Well, she did get pg the first time around....with twin girls :LOL He got fixed and so did she after that....some people really ought to leave good enough alone...
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by MilkOnDemand
Some people *really* do try for a boy or a girl. I have some idiot cousins with too much money apparently, who had his sperm spun or something. Then, she was artificially inseminated to acheive a boy - since they didn't want another girl. Well, she did get pg the first time around....with twin girls :LOL He got fixed and so did she after that....some people really ought to leave good enough alone...

How sad.
I would never want to find something like that out as a child.

My SIL wanted a girl so bad with her 3rd pregnancy (after 2 boys) that she refused to find out what the baby was just because she would be disappointed the remainder of her pregnancy if it was another boy. She confesses that when her 3rd son was born, not even minutes after the birth, she told her husband that they could try again for a girl. *shakes head* Just what I would want the first memories of my child's life to be.

At any rate, she's not a very nice person and should probably have never bred.
 

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At any rate, she's not a very nice person and should probably have never bred.
Bwaaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

Sadly, I think that about SO many people!
 

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Quote:
Some people *really* do try for a boy or a girl. I have some idiot cousins with too much money apparently, who had his sperm spun or something. Then, she was artificially inseminated to acheive a boy - since they didn't want another girl. Well, she did get pg the first time around....with twin girls He got fixed and so did she after that....some people really ought to leave good enough alone...
Ok I am Christian and when I hear about stuff like that happening I think that God is just laughing at a couple like that and saying...."who's God now?" :LOL

I mean even if you aren't christian you have to think that you can only mess with nature so much KWIM

On another note I CAN'T STAND the "so what are you hoping for?" question...ugh...hey how about a healthy baby! And then of course when I say that then I get the "yeah yeah everyone says that but if you had to choose what would it be?"....ummm a healthy baby
:
 

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I think it just goes to show that too many people are hung up on gender stereotypes in this world. Like there are only certain things you can do with boys and only certain things you can do with girls and that your life will be empty without at least one offspring of each. Doesn't make sense to me. We try to be really open about what our son can do ...and he'll be covered with dirt playing trucks in the backyard and then 10 minutes later he is cooking up food on his pink stove.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Pelgie
I think it just goes to show that too many people are hung up on gender stereotypes in this world. Like there are only certain things you can do with boys and only certain things you can do with girls and that your life will be empty without at least one offspring of each. Doesn't make sense to me. We try to be really open about what our son can do ...and he'll be covered with dirt playing trucks in the backyard and then 10 minutes later he is cooking up food on his pink stove.
Exactly. Dh doesn't really care about having a boy anymore. I think after almost 4 years with dd he realizes there's nothing a boy can do that she can't (short of making sperm one day
) She loves to play outside and get dirty and climb trees, build castles out of blocks, play with tools and cars...and she LOVES my little ponies and wearing pretty dresses. :LOL

Anyway, I had someone do something similiar to me (the car thing) when I was pregnant with her. I went to Wendy's to talk to a friend who worked there, and they had redone the parking lot, so I pulled in the wrong way. Long story short, the lady harassed me and called me an idiot and slammed the door onto my huge pregnant belly (I was a few days from my due date!) I went to the police station and filed a complaint, but they never did anything. :/ The town I live in is small and extrememly classist, so a poor, pregnant 18 year old didn't have much of a chance against a 40 something BMW owner. It used to make me angry, but I believe strongly in karma and realize she was only hurting herself in the long run (especially considering I remained calm and polite the whole time).

Anyway.
 
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