My husband and I have had major disagreements about this. I feel that children should be picked up under their arms, and he thinks there is nothing wrong with pulling her up by one arm around the wrist (but gently). I remember (somewhere) that putting stress on one arm (on a toddler or small child) can cause a dislocation in the shoulder or elbow? Has anyone heard of this and if so where?? In the past, I asked and asked him not to do that but he doesnt listen to me, and yesterday someone actually came to me privately and asked if he was abusive. Verbally with me maybe but I would never tolerate him doing ANYTHING to my children. I do know he does some irresponsible things with them eg. letting 3 1/2 year old look at toys at store unsupervised (1 time before i laced into him), arguing with car seats (according to him I am too paranoid) , trying to let them go outside in backyard (no fence) unsupervised (I follow them out and keep an eye on them)....all of which i have put my foot down and caused major arguments about my "over protectiveness". Does anyone have any info how to properly pick up a child and why so I can show him?? Mods, I apologize if this is in the wrong section but I thought since this is a medical/injury issue that this was the proper place for it.