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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok I'd like to do a sort of piggyback thread on my<br><a href="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=790414" target="_blank">are preteens/teens really more expensive thread</a><br><br>
yes everyone listed the expenses, yes it does seem aparent that the expenses will go up, in some cases drastically<br><br>
BUT would you say its all worth it?<br><br>
Dont you always find a way to make it work?<br><br>
Dont you FIND a way to pay for sports or that holiday present etc?<br><br>
or is the constant struggle such a huge source of stress that its hard to enjoy them all or life in general?<br><br>
thanks mamas!
 

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Yeah, you do but it is a lot harder when they are older. My son who turns 16 in Feb only asked for one gift, a pair of reall cool sneakers that are $110. So unlike the 2 yo who I can get stuff at Goodwill, I am ebaying to make Christmas happen for my son.<br><br>
I don't regret him in anyway but I hate having to be so tight at the moment the upside is he is understanding hence the only wanting 1 gift compared to last year where I spent about 300 on him.<br><br>
I will be honest I could not imagine having a couple teens at the moment, that woukd be brutal since even if they only asked for 1 item that is costly it would be brutal at least for me.<br><br>
Shay
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I know thats what is so hard about deciding to have another one, I know I would never regret the child but its like at what cost to do I put on my family? ach money is just evil !!!!
 

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What a perfect time to introduce the concept of... a job!!! By 16, children can start to contribute to their own financial well being. I have found my kids are MUCH more responsible with their own money. FWIW, I don't even consider buying something for my child at a price that I would not pay for something for myself. I might, however contribute $ towards a purchase if it is something important to them.
 

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Well we aren't struggling so it isn't an issue. Plus we HS'd so we didn't have all the school related expenses like field trips, band or special school clothes. As a result I didn't find the teen years that particularly expensive. Plus my dd doesn't care about the latest fashion. We did buy her her own desktop computer and she has had 2 mp3 players in the last few years ( no she didn't break one, just an upgrade). All in all though she isn't very consumeristic <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug">
 

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Are you considering having another baby, or wondering whether you should give them away when they hit 12? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
It's all worth it. You do make it work. You give them the best you can afford, consistent with your values. If you love them, they do one day appreciate it, even if they had to do without.
 

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When the children were small and I was a SAHM, we were able to thrift store and grarage sale toys.<br>
That just doesn't work with teenagers, unfortunately. We raised our kids to be non-materialistic but there are things that they want, and it isn't wrong to want them. For instance, my 21 y.o. son wants a ghee for his birthday (whatever that is, something to do with his martial arts) - $100. That's all he wants and we'll give it to him.<br>
We have four of our own and an adopted niece, so money is always tight. Plus now two of our children are married and we have a grandson, so we have extras to buy for at Christmas. But this year we are going to keep costs down tremendously.<br>
Yes, teenagers are expensive but I wouldn't trade them for the world. They light up my life and keep things humorous.
 

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I don't think we are 'struggling', but every penny counts. Tutions are our biggest expense. However, I don't see a way around that. (Although I am sure others could, but we are making the best decisions we can with the children we have).<br><br>
Money is why we 'only' have 4 kids.<br><br>
Clothing, toys, gadgets are not the issues-- we are bargain hunters, recyclers, thrifters, etc., and the kids aren't grabby (my 8 yr old has one thing on her Christmas lkist and my middle teens have two each. My 18 yr old asked for 'warm slippers"). We just can't see an easy way around educational costs. The cost is amazing, and nothing really prepared us for the current reality. We don;t even send spending money to our oldest. He still has most of the money he made at his summer jobs in his bank account, which needs to last him the whole school year. And he paid for his books with his work money.
 

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Yup, the kids are worth it. And if I really don't have the money for the one particular, expensive item they want for a holiday- well, then I won't be buying it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"> I can't spend money that's not there.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>starbound25</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9834259"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Dont you always find a way to make it work?</div>
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No.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Dont you FIND a way to pay for sports or that holiday present etc?</td>
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No.<br><br>
We have a finite amount of money, and unless I want to just keep charging things to the credit card and racking up a huge amount of debt, there are certain things we simply can't afford.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">or is the constant struggle such a huge source of stress that its hard to enjoy them all or life in general?</td>
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No, it's not that, either. Currently we are having an issue with dd13 thinking we are mean for not spending more than $200 (half our Christmas budget, which I saved from the grocery budget throughout the year) on an iPod for her. However, when we told her that we couldn't pay $500 for traveling league soccer and she could just play the normal $40 league in the spring, she was fine with it, even though she had been really excited about traveling league and her coach had really talked it up.<br><br>
We find a way to pay for some of the things she wants, and for others, we don't. I don't think it's my job as a parent to give my kids everything they want.<br><br>
dm
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
thank you again for your responses, my concerns arent so much the material items, but extracarricular activites which I would like them to participate in if they are interested and then things like braces, glasses, class trip, things like that are what is keeping me hesitant<br>
I know it will be a struggle as it is with the 3 we have so I see the big picture as a fourth child would make it impossible...<br>
we just paid $6000 for my DSD (14) braces AND she wears glasses that need to be replaced this year for $400 new prescription and lenses so I see where the teenage expenses are just for mandatory things, and part of that is even absorbed by her mother, with our 3 it will be all us...too scary I think for me....
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>laoxinat</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9835435"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">What a perfect time to introduce the concept of... a job!!! By 16, children can start to contribute to their own financial well being. I have found my kids are MUCH more responsible with their own money. FWIW, I don't even consider buying something for my child at a price that I would not pay for something for myself. I might, however contribute $ towards a purchase if it is something important to them.</div>
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My sentiments exactly. Even for the 'necessities'. My boys pay for their own contact lenses. If they want a pair of shoes that costs more than I am willing to pay they have to pitch in. My oldest pays for his own cell phone now because he didn't like the plan I offered on the family plan the rest of us have. Thankfully I never had expenses like braces to pay for.<br><br>
I don't think it's a question of whether they're worth it. I think it's a question of teaching them that everything doesn't just magically appear for them out of the blue. They know they're worth it when you work with them to find a way to try and get them what they want.
 
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