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I guess from reading these threads, poly is fairly common. However it does sound as though most of the relationships here have come across more by accident. This is where we are- dh and I have been talking about polymory a lot lately (we have been happily married for 6 + yrs.) --and I am not sure where these discussions will lead...but right now we are talking about establishing a triad-relationship with another woman. I have never been in a relationship like this or a relationship with a woman for that matter, however I guess you could call me bi-curious.Dh always lights up when we discuss this possibility of his having two wives, but sometimes I think he does not think I am serious--I am.
We would prefer a committed closed triad however this does happen to come about. Dh and I also agree on the "kind of woman" we would like to attract but my big question is how do we go about meeting other women who might fit the bill here? I have seen ads for these arrangements in a local alternative newspaper but dh insists those ads to attract people for one-night stands and amusement, and we are talking about something else. I read one post about a triad at this board that went to a poly gathering (and I don't think there are things like this in our area) and they didn't fit in....so where do we start? Any suggestions would be most welcome. Thanks in advance.
 

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I am the type of person that lets the universe guide me. One of my most dreaded questions is "what are you looking for?" when folks find out I/we are poly. I honestly don't have a "dream" poly configuration - most likely because dh & I are very flexible people and we tend to be attracted to the like...

But if I were trying to meet others of like mind I'd start with local poly munches, meetup and poly friendly websites like PolyMatchMaker.com.

Hope this help...
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by LazureFairie
how do we go about meeting other women who might fit the bill here? I have seen ads for these arrangements in a local alternative newspaper but dh insists those ads to attract people for one-night stands and amusement, and we are talking about something else.
I have to wonder if those ads ever work for either long-term or one night stands. There is a certain disdain among the poly community for people who take out those ads seeking the elusive "hot bi babe." It's like they're trying to buy a product, not find a human being, kwim? But because of those people, I think ALL ads by M/F couples seeking a bi female are going to be looked at that way.

I have profiles on PMM and okcupid.com, but I've never even gotten close to meeting anyone through them (although I know people who have). My relationships all tend to just "happen." I think it's easier when you're involved in hobbies that have a high number of poly, or at least open-minded, people.

Good luck!
 

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Oh yeah - totally forgot to mention having hobbies that attract other open-minded free thinking folks...
 

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LazureFairie, I'm glad you posted this, dh and I are in exactly the same situation.

How does a married woman go about meeting women, even in situations that may attract poly/bi women though? What kind of hobbies would those be? Dh and I don't openly tell people that I'm bi - so where does that leave us?
 

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I have met folks via SCA type events, sci-fi conventions, Pagan friendly events, Love is a Family type events... etc. I think certain types of activities attract certain types of folks - you know, how you keep meeting the same people in different places.
 

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Many people think of "swinging" as this nasty 70s sordid orgy thing, but it isn't - at least not for everyone. If you meet some other swinger types, or go to some clubs or parties (most people at these events do really just dance and eat and leave with their wife/husband), you will at least meet likeminded people- many of whom are also in committed polyamorous relationships. I'm sorry if that's off-putting, it isn't meant to be. But if you are bi-curious some sexual encounters that don't threaten your marriage might be a good idea too.

There are some online discussion lists that are very friendly, and as someone posted, local potlucks and parties and things like that. Whether you ever meet someone to have a long-term relationship with is about as predictable as any such match is.
 
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