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How many of you actually have stuff planned.<br>
Funeral arrangements, wills, life insuarnce, trusts, someone to take the kids?<br><br>
Besides some life insurance dh and I have NOTHING planned. I am suddenly freaking out about this.<br><br>
H
 

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Dh has life insurance. That's it. Now that we have kids we really should get things in order. My dad and stepmom sat us down one night and showed us a huge folder with all of the phone numbers and important paperwork, combination to the safe in the basement, etc etc...So when they die we know exactly what to do and it won't be a logistical nightmare.
 

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We have an appointment with a lawyer in a few weeks to get official papers drawn up. We have a person picked to raise our children and life insurance up the wazoo. As far as funerals and whatnot, whatever my family does is fine. There is money to pay for it from our insurance so that's covered.
 

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Life insurance and wills (sort of) for both of us. Guardians picked for the kids. I'd prefer a burial so the kids could come visit me if they wanted to (I go talk to my grandparents when I'm in those areas doing other stuff), but whatever they or dh decides is fine - I'll be dead.<br><br>
The only thing that bugs me right now is trying to get this kind of information from my parents. It's taken me 6mo to get them to tell me they want to be cremated. As for getting a copy of their will, well, I have a better shot at winning the lottery without a ticket. <span style="font-size:xx-small;">(Btw, the copy is because I will most likely be the one to take care of all the details - my sister's living the bohemian single life across the state.)</span><br><br>
I was freaking out about the same thing a few months ago. To the point where it was keeping me up at night. So I finally got on the ball with getting life insurance policies for me and dh, and started in on our wills. Getting dh to finish his is a whole 'nother tangent, but still. Something is better than nothing, IMO. I sleep better now knowing there's no way MIL or SIL would be able to "raise" my kids or spend the money from a life insurance payout, and that the kids would be fine.<br><br>
Btw, trusts can be a PITA depending on how you set them up... my mom's parents had a living trust until Papa died, and it's been nothing but a thorn in mom's side because of how it was set up. So just be careful when doing that kind of thing... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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We have insurance and wills, with the potential guardians named in the will. I think that's really important to do.<br><br>
No funeral plans or plans to make them!
 

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Dh and I really need to set up some plans. We both have a small amount of life insurance through our jobs, but nothing more.<br><br>
It's pretty bad - I think about it, but we just haven't done it yet. And I have a defect that may shorten my life, so I think about the "what ifs" occasionally just haven't done anything about them. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 

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DH and I both have life insurance and living wills (just stating that we don't want to be put on life support if we are terminal). That's it.
 

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We have life insurance on all of us and Godparents for the kids. We don't have burial plots. I want my body to be donated to science. DH isn't crazy about that idea but hope he goes with my wishes. We do need to get some things on paper in case the inevitable happens in an untimely way.
 

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When our dd passed away we were in a tailspin not knowing what or how to make these types of arrangements. The horror of her death was difficult enough, but all this other stuff was making it difficult.<br><br>
So we now have our own plots, working on headstones, have life insurance, have our burial plans written out. No will.<br><br>
I do not want my kids to go through all of this hell while trying to grieve. I want to be able to ease their burden a bit.<br><br>
Janis
 

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Both of us have wills, Advanced Directives To Physicians, Powers Of Attorney & POA For Health Care Decisions. We have guardians set-up for ds (as well as two sets of back-ups). We have two trusts set-up for ds, as well. Plenty of life insurance. We have a family plot at the cemetary in our small town (mil is already there) that will hold me, dh, ds, my parents and dh's parents. Bought it a few years ago.<br><br>
I am the administrator for my parent's estate (I am their POA & POAHCD, as well). Imade sure of this after my Mom had a stroke last Summer that would make it impossible for her to carry out those duties should something happen to Dad. As Dad isn't doing all that well, either, I asked him to hand-over POA to me for <span style="text-decoration:underline;">both</span> of them (he prefers I take decide what Mom needs and he writes the checks). I wanted to save the troubles that could occur with my siblings arguing about Mom or Dad's care (before OR after death!). I have a copy of their wills, the attorney has a copy and they each have copies in their safe deposit box.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>The only thing that bugs me right now is trying to get this kind of information from my parents. It's taken me 6mo to get them to tell me they want to be cremated. As for getting a copy of their will, well, I have a better shot at winning the lottery without a ticket. (Btw, the copy is because I will most likely be the one to take care of all the details - my sister's living the bohemian single life across the state.)<br></i></td>
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Have they written down their desires for cremation? You want them to do this, individually, so that <span style="text-decoration:underline;">their</span> wishes are documented (in case there is opposition from their spouse or other family members). If you are listed as the executor/administrator of their estate, you only need have access to their safe deposit box, if that is where their wills are stored (your name as a co-signer is a good idea). Does their attorney have copies of their wills (he/she should)?<br><br>
Who is listed, in their wills, as the executor/administrator of their estate? <span style="text-decoration:underline;">That</span> is the person who will handle those details. If it is your sister, and you feel she is unable to carry this job, you need to have your parents list you as the administrator.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>We have life insurance on all of us and Godparents for the kids. We don't have burial plots. I want my body to be donated to science. DH isn't crazy about that idea but hope he goes with my wishes. We do need to get some things on paper in case the inevitable happens in an untimely way.</i></td>
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It almost always happens in an untimely way! Byu Godparents, do you mean legal guardians have been chosen and legally documented? Godparents are generally just people, through your religion, that are chosen to help your children with their spiritual path. It has nothing to do with taking them in, LEGALLY, if something happens to both of the parents.<br><br>
Make sure you have made all the legal decisions and had them documented by an attorney. This is too important.
 

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I am working on it. we each have life insurance, but I'd like more for me for obvious reasons. everyone (or those close to me rather) know my organs and body is to be donated to science, then the remains cremated. (I think it takes like a year to get the remains back from what I've heard).<br><br>
Personal property & real estate I have no clue <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy"><br><br>
I have someone chosen for POA.<br><br>
I have no idea how living wills work (can someone explain?)<br><br>
my DH is deceased so I know firsthand what happens. and will be dealing with it (can we say probate?) for YEARS as a matter of fact because we didn't plan ahead. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> we actually talked about it alot but didn't have much of a plan. Thankfully things have worked out for the most part. for the time being anyhow.<br><br>
don't put this off!!!!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:<br><br>
a good tip I will pass on to homeowners is get the mortgage ins. that pays off your house in the event of your death!<br><br>
as for choosing a person to raise the kids in your will, I have a question. do you talk with the person you have chosen before hand or what? just name them and hope they will follow your wishes? DH And I had someone picked out (not family) but circumstances have changed and well I have never spoken with this person about it. it is awkward and now I find myself not sure because of it..both if this is the right person to choose and if I need to find out if they would even take my kids and raise them..
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>When our dd passed away we were in a tailspin not knowing what or how to make these types of arrangements. The horror of her death was difficult enough, but all this other stuff was making it difficult.<br><br>
So we now have our own plots, working on headstones, have life insurance, have our burial plans written out. No will.<br><br>
I do not want my kids to go through all of this hell while trying to grieve. I want to be able to ease their burden a bit.</i></td>
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I am so sorry to hear of what you have gone through, I can't even imagine that pain.<br><br>
However, you need more than insurance, headstones, plots and burial plans!<br><br><span style="text-decoration:underline;">No will</span> means no decisions on what happens to your surviving children. It means no legal guardians (the state will decide).<br><br>
Those other things (plots and headstones) are nothing, burden-wise, compared to their being placed with whatever relative (or, not) the court decides. It doesn't tell anyone what your desires are for your children (even if they are not met by the guardians, say no vaccinating or certain educational or religious ideals).<br><br>
Your children will be more comforted by the fact you took time to legally document your wishes as to their futures and caregivers. Choosing a headstone is fine and dandy, but choosing guardians is way more important.
 

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Got the will, got the life ins., got the guardians picked out and called. Told dh I wanna be an organ donor and to be cremated. I may want them to do <a href="http://www.eternalreefs.com/" target="_blank">this.</a> I'm a big snorkeling/water freak, so hey...what a great place to plant me, eh?
 

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Finch- I am using eternal reefs for my DH remains!!!! DH requested this after we saw the documentary years ago. it is simply amazing!!! (I have made the decision to wait until both children will remember it though- next year we will be dropping it) we had a small church memorial service the week after he died.<br><br>
here is a place you can get some legal forms btw. I have been told to do this and notarize them w/ a witness while working on my will. some paper trail is better than none I guess.<br><a href="http://www.findlegalforms.com/xcart/customer/home.php" target="_blank">http://www.findlegalforms.com/xcart/customer/home.php</a>
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>rainbowmoon</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7960454"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Finch- I am using eternal reefs for my DH remains!!!! DH requested this after we saw the documentary years ago. it is simply amazing!!! (I have made the decision to wait until both children will remember it though- next year we will be dropping it) we had a small church memorial service the week after he died.<br><br>
here is a place you can get some legal forms btw. I have been told to do this and notarize them w/ a witness while working on my will. some paper trail is better than none I guess.<br><a href="http://www.findlegalforms.com/xcart/customer/home.php" target="_blank">http://www.findlegalforms.com/xcart/customer/home.php</a></div>
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Aw, that's great. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/happytears.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="happytears">: Bless your heart. I saw the documentary too, that's what sparked my interest. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I loves da fishies. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/luxlove.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="throb">
 

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Rainbowmoon asked:<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>as for choosing a person to raise the kids in your will, I have a question. do you talk with the person you have chosen before hand or what? just name them and hope they will follow your wishes? DH And I had someone picked out (not family) but circumstances have changed and well I have never spoken with this person about it. it is awkward and now I find myself not sure because of it..both if this is the right person to choose and if I need to find out if they would even take my kids and raise them..<br></i></td>
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ALWAYS talk to the prospective guardians before naming them in your legal papers!!! To say the least, it would be polite. You need to know whether or not they would <span style="text-decoration:underline;">want</span> to do this! It is a HUGE responsibility to take on, and not everyone is up for this.<br><br>
Are they healthy and/or young enough to tackle this responsibility? Do they already have a family? Their whole family <span style="text-decoration:underline;">must</span> be considered in their agreeing to do this. Adding to it could be difficult (financially, physically, geographically and emotionally). Will their entire family support their taking-on this responsibility? Are they prepared to face the role of caring for a grieving child?? Will they be compensated, financially, for this (sounds cruel, but it is a reality). Will they respect your desires as far as religion (continuing to raise your child with the same beliefs)? Health care (vaccinations or not, homeopathic before mainstream care, full knowledge of health issues your children have)? Education (private-vs-public education or homeschooling)? Will they make sure that your children will continue to have contact with the relatives and friends you desire? Are they nearby or across the country? Will your children be able to bring most of their belongings with them when they move-in with their guardians (this is important, they have lost a parent (or both parents) and they would be asked to give-up their toys and books and other tangibles)? If you have several children, will the guardians be able to take ALL of them? Splitting-up a family is cruel, especially at such a sensitive time!<br><br>
So, please, always talk to people before. Be honest in your questions and ask them to be honest in their replies! If they say no, they couldn't do this, thank them for this honesty, and mean it.<br><br>
Don't put off looking for another. You never know what will happen in the next hour or day or week.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>grahamsmom98</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7960247"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">It almost always happens in an untimely way! Byu Godparents, do you mean legal guardians have been chosen and legally documented? Godparents are generally just people, through your religion, that are chosen to help your children with their spiritual path. It has nothing to do with taking them in, LEGALLY, if something happens to both of the parents.<br><br>
Make sure you have made all the legal decisions and had them documented by an attorney. This is too important.</div>
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Yes. I know about the possiblity of an untimely death after being dx'd w/cancer in '05 but I figure if I can get both my kids raised first-it will be at least a <i>less</i> untimely death! I don't mind if I die-I just want to wait until the kids are adults!<br>
You know we just discussed the GP's/guardian thing lastnight. The funny thing was we wanted the kids to go to our friends who were most likely to take the kids camping! I'm not sure if anyone in the family qualifies!<br><br>
We have thought of having some sort of small headstone just so there is a marker of some sort. I want to make one. DH thinks I'm morbid. Maybe I am. I'm torn between where I want any remains if there are any. In my hometown all my family and my best friend are all in one cemetary. But I left home years ago and have a new home now. I think we will talk to my FIL and see if we can all do some sort of family plot.<br>
I'm going to check into that eternal reef. Thats sounds interesting too.<br>
Thanks for the great dialogue, gals.
 

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We have everything (wills, life insurance, etc.), but no funeral plans thought out. We do have guardians for our future children, but not written in the will. DH and I talked extensively about this as they are not immediate family (not parents or siblings). Once I'm pregnant, we will sit down with them and talk with them about it. I can't imagine them saying no, but a few years down the road things could change and we're prepared for that. When we met with the attorney to do our wills, they said you should talk with potential guardians to let them know of your wishes. He also recommended that when the time comes we list two different people (or couples) in case circumstances changed and one was not able to do so. He very much stressed the importance of updating your will every time something changes-addition of a family member, change of wishes (you want someone else to be the guardian, etc.). Too often people put it off or forget.<br><br>
We also have written in our wills who the dog goes to. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 

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We have life insurance and we have wills. We have decided who will raise DS if something happens to us (written into the will). But as far as funeral & burial stuff, we haven't done any of that.
 
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