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I need some advice. My husband is a stoner. I don't know what my feelings are on this, I know a lot of ppl do it and it seems ok, I used to be a stoner in college myself. I guess it's the legal issue that I have trouble with.<br><br>
That said - my dh is growing it for himself. I don't know if I'm ok with this. He says *I'm* being paranoid. It stinks for one thing. I don't like the fact that my young lo's are around and have seen it.<br><br>
What are your thoughts on this? I want to make a rational decision on whether or not to tell him to get rid of it.
 

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The only thing I would really worry about, besides the possiblity of the authorities somehow finding out and your DH getting into legal trouble, is that your husband may not be able to properly care for the children (if he keeps them by himself and smokes during this time.) Other than that...the kids don't really know what it is, do they? And if they do, are you ok with that?
 

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*I* wouldn't be okay with DH growing pot in our house. We've both smoked occasionally, but we had an understanding once the children were born that we weren't okay with it in our house when we had kids. My biggest fear honestly would be having my children taken away because we were growing marijuana in our house.<br><br>
As for kids seeing the plants, I suppose that's an issue as they get older - mainly them telling their friends and thinking it's okay for them to do (assuming you won't be encouraging them to smoke).
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>BrandiRhoades</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14747837"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My biggest fear honestly would be having my children taken away because we were growing marijuana in our house.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that"><br><br>
I mean, nobody ever thinks they'll get busted, but it happens. I don't think it would be worth the risk.
 

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As a child of a father who did this... I resented it and always will. For as long as I could remember right down to the age of 3 or 4 I hated him for doing things like this. I knew what it was. I knew I had to keep secrets. I knew my friends couldn't find it. It sucked! I would NEVER allow it.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MommaCrystal</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14747916"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">As a child of a father who did this... I resented it and always will. For as long as I could remember right down to the age of 3 or 4 I hated him for doing things like this. I knew what it was. I knew I had to keep secrets. I knew my friends couldn't find it. It sucked! I would NEVER allow it.</div>
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This is a very good reason. I have similar feelings to those who allowed me at a young age to smoke pot. My mom practically condoned it by having stoner friends. As far as I know she did not embibe.<br><br>
My brother now is into the bussiness and I resent that too. It puts everyone in danger being involved in illegal activity. You could be robbed at gun point by greedy people, especially in these tough economic times. My mom mentioned once to my brother that she did not want the pot grown it the house due to the fact it puts her home in danger. They may be able to take the house, or your landlord can get in trouble.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MommaCrystal</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14747916"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><b>As a child of a father who did this... I resented it and always will. For as long as I could remember right down to the age of 3 or 4 I hated him for doing things like this. I knew what it was.</b> I knew I had to keep secrets. I knew my friends couldn't find it. It sucked! I would NEVER allow it.</div>
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Yep to the bold (except the parents divorced before the secret keeping phase.)<br><br>
A 4 years old I knew what it was and somehow was uncomfortable with the idea. I think the reason was I was uncomfortable with the overall lifestyle and people it attracted. (in my father's case, not a good crowd)
 

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Growing is a much bigger legal risk than smoking or possessing (a small amount) in most states. Look up the laws for your state and show them to your husband. It's also more likely that he'll be caught for growing than for smoking: people are more likely to report it, police are more likely to follow up on a report, the plants may be seen outdoors or the high electricity consumption for grow-lights may be noticed.<br><br>
The fact that the smell is bothering you also is something he should take into consideration, just because he loves you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I have no personal feeling about it one way or the other, however, growing it is illegal. I would be concerned with the authorities finding out about his crop. If they bust him for it, I am pretty sure they won't immediately be able to distinguish the fact that it is his and not yours meaning you could go to jail with him. I would also be concerned about a possiblity of CPS removing the child from both of you.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>pauletoy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14748978"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I have no personal feeling about it one way or the other, however, growing it is illegal. I would be concerned with the authorities finding out about his crop. If they bust him for it, I am pretty sure they won't immediately be able to distinguish the fact that it is his and not yours meaning you could go to jail with him. I would also be concerned about a possiblity of CPS removing the child from both of you.</div>
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There are thousands upon thousands of women who are in prison in this country today because of the actions of their husbands and boyfriends. I would have a REALLY big problem with him growing on site. Smoking pot is one thing: this is a "whole 'nother" ballgame.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>staceychev</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14749014"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">There are thousands upon thousands of women who are in prison in this country today because of the actions of their husbands and boyfriends. I would have a REALLY big problem with him growing on site. Smoking pot is one thing: this is a "whole 'nother" ballgame.</div>
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I completely agree. This is actually one situation that I would leave my dh over.
 

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Growing in your house is not a good idea if you have kids.<br><br>
1. CPS issues<br>
2. seizure of your house and assets<br>
3. mold/mildew and health issues<br>
4. jail time is almost guaranteed if your caught in most places<br><br>
Not to mention all of the other things already mentioned.<br><br>
It's one thing to smoke. That can be easily hidden from kids and everyone else. Growing not so much.<br><br>
Of course my opinion would change in an instant if he was growing legally (I think you can in California with a medical card.) But then only if it was for personal use (a few plants) not a sea of green harvesting every 2 months kind of thing.
 

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It really depends on the state and city you live in. Some places, no one would care. Other places, people are very uptight about it.<br><br>
I would encourage your DH to look into the local police attitude towards MJ, and if your state has medical MJ. Then *strongly* encourage you DH to get a medical MJ card, and growers permit--this will protect your family.<br><br>
I think I would prefer my partner to grow it--then they aren't spending so much money on it, and giving their money to potentially bad guys (gangs, etc.).<br><br>
I think with the federal gov't basically saying that they won't have raids/prosecute people in states with medical MJ laws, it is essentially safe and legal (as long as you get the card). And hey, who *doesn't* smoke pot for medical reasons? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
And then he has to find a place in the house where it won't make the whole house smell like plants. It can be very fragrant just growing the stuff, especially if it is indoors under a light. If it is outdoors, you just have to worry about noisy neighbors or people stealing your plants.
 

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Seems way too risky, to me, unless he has a medical MJ card (like a PP mentioned). But really, the fact that it's bothering you, his wife and the mother of his children, should be enough for him get rid of them.
 

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DH and I have had this discussion as we both smoke and when we were younger tried our hands at growing (not an easy plant to grow well). Now that DD is here we would NEVER ever grow again. Growing is just so different in the eyes of the law than possession. We still smoke responsibly but no way to growing...<br><br>
If you don't want him to you should really just put your foot down. It is your house too! Was that too simple?<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue">
 

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Would NOT fly at my house. My dp would never, but if he did he could do it in some other house. I would never in a million years condone it.
 

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Ask yourself and your husband THIS<br>
.......IS it okay to lose your children over pot? IF you are comfortable with that risk then I guess it's not an issue. I would be livid though.
 

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I would get rid of the plants.<br><br>
No way would I allow my spouse to put us in a situation where I could lose my kids.<br><br>
I would NOT allow them in my home. Period.<br><br>
My husband has no interest in pot but he knows good and well if pot plants showed up in my house they would disappear fast.<br><br><br><br>
Heck I used to flush my ex's pot and I didn't even have kids then. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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I would assume if it is being grown in your home with your knowledge in the presence of your children that you would be considered an accessory and an unfit parent.
 

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Just to let you know... in my city, last month, a couple that was just smoking (not growing) in their own home just had their children removed and are in jail awaiting trial. By knowing that your dh is growing, you are an accessory to the crime and you will lose your children if the authorities find out. I'm not saying that the laws are right or wrong. I'm just saying that *any* illegal activity, no matter what it is... even if it's a white-collar crime like embezzlement, is cause to have children removed. Do you want to risk that? The authorities are not going to see it as anything different than running a meth lab, for example. I hope your dh is willing to cooperate. Good luck!
 
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