Mothering Forum banner

1 - 17 of 17 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
220 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've recently noticed that my 2 yr old dd doesn't really like toys. Her bedroom is basically a toy room, organized with cubbies-trains/vehicles cubby, musical toys, balls, tools, dress up, mr potato head, dolls, mega blocks, wood blocks. She has so many and she never wants to play with any. She has a kitchen in our kitchen she will play with every once in a great while. But really all she wants to do is color, read, and play iPad games (all educational). Which is great, she even "reads" to herself. And she will do puzzles but only if I do them with her. But I worry when I watch other kids her age play and she just watches. Would you worry? Do any of you have kids like this?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
165 Posts
My daughter was like that. She did play with toys, but the majority of them, I would say, were sort of just there to add to the selection. She, too, preferred creative things to do, and video game but those were very limited back then. Comparing your kid to other kids is useless. There is always some kid who seems to be more advanced than your own. But other parents are also comparing their kids to yours and thinking the same thing you are about their kids. Just relax. Your DD is developing her character and personality and talents. Embrace them. Don't fear them. Toys are just toys. Try boxing, at least, half of her toys that seem to gather dust and put them away for about a week or 2 and then bring them out and see what interest she has in them and then put away the other half of the toys. Too many toys for toddlers and preschoolers can be overwhelming and the expectancy to play with them all can make them lose interest at playing with any.
Every year or so, I would go through her toys and we would agree on which toys to keep and which ones to give away. Our goal would be to clear most of the ones she was too old for, broken, lost important pieces and those that she had no interest in. My daughter had so many toys it was chore just to keep them organized and tidy. I would have to wash them all and find all sorts of places to store them.


Even though electronic toys can be educational, they are not good for their eyes. 15 minutes or less a day should be enough. There are many other educational items that you can get her. This is a good time to teach her how to use a pencil and start learning to scribble and write her name. Since kindergarten is becoming more demanding on how much preschoolers are supposed to know beforehand, it's never too early to start teaching the basics. Don't be afraid to buy paper books. It's an opportunity to teach her how handle a book with delicate pages. The books with the reading levels make it easier to pin point what difficulty is right for that age. You may have the books to her, but that is so important in getting her to enjoy stories and reading. One day she will want to read to you soon.
When I was 2 or 3 my mom got me a chalk board on an easel. I remember it so well and I would just spend a long time drawing, pretending to write.
Invest more in simple activity and coloring books. Request to family to cool off on the pretend play toys and dress up stuff for the time being. If your daughter is like how mine was, I'm sure you never have any issues when skipping the toys aisle at the store. :laugh:
If you are concerned with the amount of downtime she has, then it's a good idea to look into a weekly activity for her. Even just getting out more maybe what she needs.


As for your concerns about your DD observing other kids play, yeah, mine was like that too. Other people took issue with it. It's a societal taboo when someone doesn't want to socialize like everyone else. It doesn't mean there is an actual problem. I would be more concerned about aggressive, unprovoked behavior or signs of anxiety when being near other kids. If your DD hasn't been around other kids very often then it's normal. But if this behavior has just cropped up then just keep an eye on other changes. It could also be that the other kids are not into the same things as she and she has no interest in what the other kids are doing. It may help to put her in something that she does like and then she can meet others her age with something in common.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
220 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks dawnsmom that makes me feel better. I'm not really too worried. I'm kind of a book worm so she might just be like me too. Lol were planing on homeschooling her so we've been practicing school everyday for about 2 hrs. We do reading time, match time, French learning time, abc time, science/nature time, music and art. She does great with all that. The rest of the time she helps me with whatever I need to do. It's weird though she just doesn't play by herself. Maybe I don't give her enough free time. I'm just always reading that kids need to play that's most important. Maybe I need to play toys with her. I'm not sure. I guess I was really wondering are toys necessary? Will it hurt her developmentally not to play with toys? Or would it be a good idea to teach her to play with her toys?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
165 Posts
Thanks dawnsmom that makes me feel better. I'm not really too worried. I'm kind of a book worm so she might just be like me too. Lol were planing on homeschooling her so we've been practicing school everyday for about 2 hrs. We do reading time, match time, French learning time, abc time, science/nature time, music and art. She does great with all that. The rest of the time she helps me with whatever I need to do. It's weird though she just doesn't play by herself. Maybe I don't give her enough free time. I'm just always reading that kids need to play that's most important. Maybe I need to play toys with her. I'm not sure. I guess I was really wondering are toys necessary? Will it hurt her developmentally not to play with toys? Or would it be a good idea to teach her to play with her toys?
Playing with real world objects, creating things, using their imaginations, that's play. It's not defined by plastic, commercial toys alone. You can try playing with her. I used to, too. But then I would get lost in my own world and my daughter would end up doing her own thing. Even if it's educational, it's still play. Think more about when she is happy and enjoying the activity. That's what's important. With all the teachings you are giving her, she is getting more of a leg up in life than those kids whose parents just leave their kids alone to do whatever. (No offense and not targeted to any parent on here. I'm just saying what I have observed from parents that I have met.)
Of course kids need some alone time and they will tell you when they want space. If you find your routine is too structured then schedule in some free time like schools do. If you know any parents in the community, try to set up a playdate. Even if she is just playing along side a friend she is still socializing in her own way.
When me and my daughter went to see her psychiatrist, I brought up whether it would be better that she be homeschooled. He advised it's not a good idea because kids with social anxieties, like what my daughter has, can become more isolated. I'm not saying you shouldn't homeschool. That is your call. But I do think it's a good idea to find ways to keep her in touch with other kids as much as possible.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
220 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I agree. I think I'm worrying unnecessarily. I should probably just be thankful she would rather color than play noisy toys. Lol
She does play with friends a lot. She has a lot of cousins in the area so she sees kids just about every few day.
I just thought it was kind of funny, I had my nephews (6 & almost 3) over the other day. I pulled out her cars and trains box and they immediately started building a track and playing. She just looked at them in awe. I just realized then that I've never seen her just sit and play with toys like that. It could be that there are 2 of them and the older one directs play to the younger. Next year she may be more independent too.

Thanks for reasoning with me. Lol
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,461 Posts
My DD1 took a loooong time learning how to play. At 2 she really wasn't into toys, she just wanted to chit chat with grown ups all day. It took her another year or so, when she could really grasp pretend play, to start using toys. Even now at 5, she's not very discerning about what toys are available. All objects are just placeholders for her imaginary play. She can create a family of grapes at lunch as easily (or more) as she spins tales about her playmobil characters.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
36 Posts
I wouldn't worry! As long as you see her interacting with some materials like the books and coloring you mentioned, she should be fine. She just seems to have a creative personality and she can use that in her art and reading. Perhaps ask her if there are any toys SHE wants (instead of assuming she already has everything she needs) if you want her to play more with toys :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10 Posts
Don't worry - anything can be a toy. As long as your child is receiving a lot of appropriate stimulation, it doesn't matter if the objects are store bought toys. Just manipulating and experiencing how real world objects work and interact is the more imporant thing to consider
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
22 Posts
My son is 2 and barely plays with his toys. He prefers running an jumping and climbing. My daughter (now 3) didn't play with many of her toys a year ago, but now she likes to sit quietly and play while her brother runs around her.

I feel like this is just a normal stage in the toddler's development.

I kind of preferred the "no toy" phase. It was cheaper. ;-)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
220 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I think it is a phase. I've noticed in the last 2 weeks all of the sudden she really likes her room. She still loves art and books best, but now she plays with her babies, tucking them in and singing to them. Yay!! She has an imagination! That was my main worry. Lol
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
14 Posts
This is a special moment I agree. It is now that you need to start gathering info about what toys are more suitable for her age. I recommend this resource providing toys reviews categorized by age. The reviews and all pieces of advice are given by parents and a team of childcare specialists. I hope you'll find it useful.
https://kidslearningthroughplay.com/
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3 Posts
I can advice you Busy puzzles. It is new type of busy boards, but even better because of personalization. It is good way to distract you toddler. You can visit Pinterest blog to check the product that Busy Puzzle makes (@busypuzzle). There you'll find also ideas for other things.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5 Posts
Mine is younger, but I feel like she definitely goes through ebbs and flows of how much she plays with her toys and which toys she prefers. There's some great advice on this thread that I'm going to keep in mind as mine gets older!
 
1 - 17 of 17 Posts
Top